Hourglass

We spin the hourglass

This way 

And that

Watch the sand flutter

From top to bottom

Moments passing 

Quicker than our 

Eyes can blink 

Our breathing is shallow

It makes a change

From the usual gasps 

And aches 

We scatter our thoughts

Feverishly

Quick as a butcher's knife

Soon the light will fade

And we will be nothing 

More than shadows 

Bodies scattered

On the ground 

Of course if we stop time

Just this instant

Daylight will remain

Night will be held off

We will exist 

Like a fossil in amber 

Glad of our life 

I look into her eyes

They are the deepest blue

Like endless summer days

And the warmest oceans

Our fingers overlap on the hourglass

We are on this journey together

Not knowing where we are headed

But content

Glad that we have more sand 

To spill

More time 

To play 

Sing in our words

Explode in our thoughts

And that is very magical indeed. 

Nebula

We will defy gravity

And find our home

In the middle of a nebula 

The stars are a blur

Of gas and turbulence 

They shine back

At our smiles 

We ignore the sounds

And focus on our birth

Daisy chains

And sweet tea

All our habits

Acted out in space

And time 

We like flying 

Feeling free

Moving is slow 

Bones aching

Legs shaking 

But we must keep moving 

If we want to live

And that we do 

We drift up 

Into the sky

See the Earth and sun 

We are nothing but specks 

Tiny but real 

When we fall from the nebula

We will land on our bed

Fresh from space

We will sleep and dream

And sing a song 

Of the world. 

Peace

The skies are grey

But soft

A gentle spray of rain

A cooling breeze 

We like to feel the freshness

On our face

It takes us out

Of the room 

Tiny steps away

From what was

To what may be 

I hold her hand

It is warm 

Soft like the sky

No callouses from working

Just perfect child hands

I hope she will always be close 

She squeezes my fingers

Reads my thoughts

I sense there will be

More adventures

More words

More time to play

Soon the sun will come up

We will look out of the window

And embrace it 

If we try hard 

We will find peace 

In our body

And head

Anything valuable 

Is worth working hard for 

So we will work for peace. 

Twinkle

The stars twinkle 

In the black white sky

A chorus of light

A feverish glow

That makes the chains

That bind us

Waver and stray

We are waking

From a joyous dream 

The chill of morning

In sight

Today we might

Take tea

Skip

Dance

And play

Inside us is 

A belly full of stars

Waiting to shine

To explode

And be 

Magical and stronger

We will absorb 

Their twinkle

Embrace the day

And look forward to night. 

Sheep in Winter

The sheep keep warm 

In the snow

Their coats glistening 

And shining like crowns 

They gnaw at the straw

Their faces happy

Like a warm meal

Settling in your stomach 

Makes you smile 

In the hedges 

The robins peck at the berries 

The storm has passed 

The branches and leaves

Are stacked up

Like monuments 

The shepherd shuns the hovel

And sleeps on a crimson bed

Sheets thick as the snow outside

Warm as the sheep

Bleating happily 

A new year is coming 

The light is pink

And clear 

Calm

Like our breathing 

Today we are well 

Tomorrow will be a new page

Crisp and white

Ready for our black ink

Like the fleece 

And the face

Of the sheep in winter.

Dazzle

Home is bittersweet

A beacon on the horizon

A hunter's snare

A place where things unravel

And are built again 

We rest our tired eyes

Try to slumber

Best of all dream 

If we cast our mind forward

We can see light 

A new realm 

Dazzling as ice 

Tomorrow we will go there

Watch the clouds move

Outside our window

The birds scavenge for

Winter berries

The crisp sound of

Breaking twigs

The gentle hum of car wheels turning

Church bells ringing 

Life moving on 

Perhaps 

Perhaps

We can be a part of it.

Beginning

A new year is coming

We will open the door

And let it in 

Let the breeze of winter

Blow the dust off 

Off our bones 

Move our body

To ease out the aches and pains 

There will be no more powder

We have resolved

We will make tiny steps 

Out into the world

Feel the ground beneath

Our feet again

Let the rain soothe our skin

The air fill our lungs

Breathe 

And

Be 

Alice smiles

I hold her hand

My constant friend 

Here in the darkness

Ready to climb out 

Of the Rabbit Hole 

And find the light 

The trees of summer 

Soon around the corner 

We will eat cake and drink tea

We will be sure to remember 

That only we can gift ourselves

A new beginning

A better New Year. 

Uncertainty

We have always 

Doubted ourselves 

Unsure of what 

We were capable of

So many things we could

Have done

But didn't 

We wanted to dance and sing

And we did 

Now we are unsteady on our feet

And lie down 

But we still 

Dance and sing in our dreams

She giggles 

Always time to laugh 

And drink tea 

Of that we are sure 

We breathe

Long

Deep 

Breaths 

We will be fine

We will do 

What we do 

Best 

Playing with words

And thoughts.

Solstice

The days are long

And restless 

As shaky as grandfather's legs 

We open the door

Gaze out to the world 

There is a chill

In the air

But we sweat and shake 

Our muscles weak

Our bones dead tired 

We must gather our strength 

Feed our soul

It is too soon to be done 

We are like migrants

Living away on our laptop 

The sun comes up

As shiny and bright 

As the end of term 

Perhaps we will celebrate solstice

Say a humble 

And quiet prayer 

Wish for a better new year

One that is stable 

And full of light

And celebration. 

Memories

Looking back we feel sad

So many mistakes 

Twists and turns

We should have never have

Touched the powder

Alice is forever young

She has had her adventure

Survived the poison 

And the cake 

I am getting old

Creaking and sore

But there is hope 

She whispers 

In my ear

As the moon shines

And the stars sparkle 

For one moment 

I think I can change 

And I have had adventures too

Moving from place to place

Playing music 

Walking in the hills

The smell of grass and sea

Lingering on my skin 

Perhaps now is time to rest

To reflect on the here and now

Dream sweet dreams

And love our life. 

Portrait

We hear the footsteps

On the stairs 

Our instinct is to run 

All just a race 

Circling the planet 

We have a plan 

Our bones bent

Like a timepiece 

We have lost control 

Stubborn as a rock 

Empty threats 

We will play

Our part 

A picture 

A portrait 

All is upside down 

Magical as snow 

Slippery as rain 

Today we will rest 

Watch ourselves 

In the mirror 

Wipe away the tears 

All will be well 

We hope. 

Ashes

Our sleep is restless

Dusty as ashes 

We will keep our dreams 

Share them through words 

There was a time 

When the smoke

Poured out the chimney 

Reality colliding 

With flashpoints 

We will leave 

A mark 

The remains of our being 

At all costs 

We must protect 

Our soul 

Our thoughts impact 

The day 

Unreturned ashes 

A celebration 

Not a funeral 

Our body breathes 

Our soul relaxes 

Perhaps tonight 

We will close our eyes 

Skip and play 

Grateful for another day. 

December

December comes

Knocking at our window

We will lay still

Snuggle up with our books 

What is your favourite story

She asks

Why you of course

Little Cricket

We like to run our fingers 

Over the letters

Feel the paper 

Wrinkled and worn 

Loved 

Our story 

We know the beginning 

Are working on the middle

Hope for a happy ending 

Rain falls upon the glass

We will walk 

Let the drops fall on our face 

Maybe it will snow 

We will try not to fall 

As long as we are moving 

All will be well.

Trees

We look out of the window

The leaves on our tree

Have fallen 

Winter is here

The birds have flown

No more berries to pick

Or places to sing

Further away 

On the hill

Are bigger trees 

They are like bones 

Standing tall 

Strong

One day we would like

To sit under them 

It would be good 

To have more magical trees 

We look forward to spring

When the skies will be blue

And the leaves green

Glowing in the sun

We never tire of looking

It helps the minutes pass

The tree

The chimney pot

The roofs of houses 

Are our world

How lucky we are

To have our special tree. 

Treasure

We are discovering treasures

There is no map 

No black line

On a white page 

Like a ship

We sail at dawn 

Wrap warm sheets

Around our frozen bodies

We remember everything

But cannot let the memories

Unspool us 

We will play

In tangerine dreams

Laugh and dance

All giddy and free

Relinquish our sanity

Just for one moment 

Lonely as a whale 

Crossing the oceans 

We are on a treasure hunt

And it feels as warm 

As the sun. 

Starry Night

We sleep under 

The swirling clouds

Hunting for stars

Crystals of light 

To guide us 

Like paint on a page

Turning into a picture

Simple and pure

We take deep breaths 

She holds my hand 

That's all we can do

She whispers

It's not time to leave yet

There has been enough 

Blood 

Pain

Mutilation 

I can feel tears swelling

In my eyes

I don't know why

I am so unhappy 

Then I look at my face

And know 

The night sky is like a blanket

It soothes us

We leave the window open

An invitation to the moon 

To join us

To bring us magic 

In this starry night. 

Revolution

You know we will 

Have to leave

One day

She says

Sipping her favourite tea

We've been waiting so long

We have forgotten what

We are looking for

Peace

Quiet

Sleep

A hand to hold

We look out of the window

The sky is thick with cloud

Maybe it will snow

She giggles

Then we will be

Trapped here forever

Always unsteady on

Our toes

I wish life was brighter

I say out loud

I wish the shivers and aches

Would go away

All in good time

You're doing the right thing

That is what the voices say

I try my hardest to listen

Hope that if I do

There will be a revolution. 

Fire

We chased the cat

Through the mirror

And the corridors 

Can I tell you a secret

I whisper to Alice in the dark

Of course she replies

I set my arm on fire

I say 

There were flames 

And ashes 

Now I am living with the debris

A secret I held in a box

For so long

It almost killed me

She looks at me

In her usual fashion 

Refrains to speak

That is her gift 

Unconditional love

Water to put out the flames

Kisses to ease the pain.

The End of the World

Thank you for the tea

She says

Scrambling down 

From the kitchen table

Were there gifts 

When you were born 

She asks

Gazing dreamily 

Out of the window

I scrape the butter

Across my toast 

Never one for gossip 

Perhaps someone laughed

I reply 

In my head I know they didn't

But there are some ghosts

You cannot lay to rest 

They fill your stomach with remorse 

Make you carry an umbrella

When the sun is shining brightly

Perhaps the world

Ends here

With a prayer 

And a re-birth

We close our eyes

And imagine.

Kindness

Alice giggles

We don't have to leave until 

Tomorrow

Then rain pours down the

Window sill 

Mother will come

Maybe sister will come too

I didn't know 

You had a sister

She says 

Of course 

Little Cricket 

Just like you 

My sister is my 

World 

My mother

My friend

My everything 

She was kind 

Just like you 

A simple 

Act of kindness. 

Memory

I do not remember 

Being small 

I say

In the middle of the night

That's funny

Alice giggles

I have always been small

And it suits me fine 

Do you remember falling 

Of course Little Cricket

I tumbled down 

The Rabbit hole 

Just like you

Except I am big 

And it is harder to run

When you are big 

Just ask mother 

She is small

And always running

Maybe we should 

Invite her to tea

Alice says

Always the optimist 

The cool air

Licks our ankles 

As the stars fade 

And the moon gets 

Ready to swap 

With the sun 

Perhaps there will be 

New memories

A different story to tell

We rest our head against the pillow 

Close our eyes

And dream.

Bluebird

The bluebird strayed

In the Indian sky

Its wings high 

We hit 

Our head

Wish for dreams 

A little bit

Of sleep 

We are not 

From this place

We are stuck 

In the red room

Praying for a way out 

A place 

Free from nightmares 

We want to sing and dance 

Wallow in the water

All we can smell

Is fear 

And powder 

Tomorrow will be different 

She whispers 

For once 

I believe her.

Fairy Tale

Life is a dream

A fairy tale 

We hold hands

In the dark 

Laugh silently 

Mother can't hurt us now

No more apples 

To bite 

Worms to destroy 

We can sleep 

All day 

If we want to

There are no rules 

In Wonderland 

Everything is a dream

A brilliant dream.

Love

I love you Alice

I say 

I stroke her hair

Hold her hand

The sun is shining 

Mother will come

The birds will sing 

The sky will turn blue 

I bite my nails

All that glitters

Is not gold 

Busy hands 

Make work for the devil 

My other mothers 

Love me 

That is enough 

We breathe

Sink into our dreams.

Spice

My sister likes spice

She chops the cumin finely 

Alice eats 

Raw pepper 

We squeeze the tomato

On our plate

Someone is coming to dinner 

We like mashed potato 

The curry gently 

Thaws n the fridge 

Our teeth are yellow

We will hide in our shell

Tomorrow is another day, 

Blue

The sky is blue

All that glitters

Fades 

The gate closes 

Alice pauses 

For a minute 

We remember everything

The dogs bark

Mother cones 

Again 

We will lie in the red bed

It's blue 

Silly

She cries 

I don't want words any more 

They make me blue 

My feet are swollen 

Best raise them on 

A pillow

She bites her nails 

I sigh 

Take a deep breath

And dream. 

Miracle

We break the bread

In our hands

We are hungry

There is enough food

To feed an army

She giggles 

All we need 

Is wine and powder 

A simple division 

That makes us human 

Everything goes around

Like fish 

In a bowl 

Patterns and swirls 

I would make 

A tribute to you 

The miracle 

Of giving.

Shoes

We look out of the window 

See the tree 

With the robins and blue tits

The sky is dark

Full of rain

We smell the grass

Petrichor 

We whisper 

Not wanting to sound

Too clever 

The door is locked

We do not feel safe 

Always have our shoes

Ready

To run 

Flee 

The powder 

Only takes us so far

Today we will stop 

She breathes a sigh of relief

It is good to be back

I couldn't have done it without you

We hold hands 

And drift off

Peaceful in our world. 

Book

What's your favourite book

I ask

That's easy 

Little Cricket

Yours 

I reply

The skies are turning grey

Winter is around the corner 

We will have 

To leave the room soon 

For now we dream 

Wait for the rain

To subside 

We breathe 

In the air 

Grass and rich clouds 

I hold her hand 

And we sleep.

Snow

Winter is coming 

We are scared 

Too many leaves

To trip over 

And fall 

We have to leave

The room soon

We sip 

The water

The clocks 

Have stopped 

We cry out in our sleep

Deep breaths 

Alice says 

Yes Little Cricket

We will breathe deeply tonight.

Abandonment

We did not feel grief

When father left the house 

It was a relief

A breaking off 

Of the circle 

It was sweet

Like roses 

We were sorry

That we had to spend

So much time 

In hospital 

We were threatened 

By the women there

So we kept ourselves

To ourselves 

Alice never abandoned me

She kept me 

Between worlds

A kind of nostalgia 

The opposite

Of abandonment.

Elegy

I do not think

About losing you

You are my light

In this shady world 

We will not

Lose one another

She whispers 

As long as we have 

Each other

There will always be

Another day 

I sip the tea

Look out of the window 

It is dark

But we like to see

The stars 

And Catherine wheels

It is the simple 

Things in life

That keep us going

I take my hand 

In hers

Hold tight 

Ans breathe.

Moving

What is your favourite

Book

Asks Alice

That's easy Little Cricket

Yours 

I say 

The dogs bark 

And the ceiling moves 

We would like 

To move

I trust you

I say

The gates are closed

The sky is dark

Mother stole 

The powder

You can't blame 

Everything on mother

She says

You are grown now

The birds

Circle overhead

A storm is brewing 

We will hunker 

Down in bed

Wait for tomorrow 

Enjoy our dreams.

Fall

We are worried

About slipping on the leaves

They have fallen

On the ground

Makes us shake 

And feel giddy

The swans bob along

The sky is blue

Fall is here

The water is blue as well 

The buildings bronze

And shining 

We sip tea

Shiver and shake.

Grow

Do you believe in fairies

She asks

We are lying in the lilac field 

Maybe I say

Waiting for something 

To happen 

Rambling on 

Mother abandoned us

Now we must find our 

Own passage 

Rub our shoulders 

In the shower 

We are not broken 

Rotten like fruit 

Tomorrow we will grow.

Mundane

We are in the kitchen

Making up tomatoes on toast 

We smell like death

It crept up to us

On this day

Alice dips 

A sugary finger in the bowl 

Smiles and waves

She really is a good girl 

We both are

She whispers 

Mother can't take that away

We look out of the window 

All is dark

No stars tonight 

Just the gentle 

Plodding of rain 

Time passing 

Clouds rearranging 

Soon it will be morning 

Another day

Another chance

A place to enjoy

The mundane.

ICU

It is midnight 

She tenderly checks

My blankets

A wisp of hair dangling 

On her cheek 

We are no longer 

In danger

But still we flee

We make a nest

Hide and burrow 

What is the place

She whispers

ICU I reply

We are determined 

Not to stay 

All good training 

For another night 

We will rise 

Like a phoenix 

Soar above the clouds 

One final journey 

Where all is free

And real. 

Hotel

Why are we here

Asks Alice

We are not on holiday 

We have never 

Stayed in an hotel 

We imagine a big red bed

Windows and clouds 

Birds gently 

Humming in the trees

We are alive

Our pulse 

Rests 

Like a calm ocean 

All is peaceful 

A song 

A smile 

Clean sheets 

And heavy curtains 

We will sleep 

Dream and play 

This is our hotel

Magical and real. 

Charity

Alice smiles

It has been years

Since we have had

Proper nourishment 

When we were born

We were not fed

Just handed stones

In our pocket 

All fear escaped

In our dreams

We never quite

Escaped

Now we are beset

By fear

Confused

Reaching out to nature

The big brown eagle

Flying in the sky

Some how 

She makes the world 

Seem less austere 

We will sing

Give pennies to the clouds 

Our very own charity

Hope and grief.

Gratitude

We are in our element 

Roaring fires

Soothing winds 

The cold parches 

Our lips

No more sugar today

We have a lot to be thankful for

Creamy milk

Fancy cakes 

Home in time for tea 

She giggles 

Hair ablaze 

I take her hand in mine

Skip trip 

All is well 

We lie in bed

Gently breathing 

Tomorrow is another day

Perhaps there will be an adventure 

Perhaps we will just 

Sit by the riverbank 

Watch the birds 

Soaring and gliding 

That sounds like a capital plan 

Will there be cake 

She asks

Always Little Cricket 

I reply

Always. 

Waters

I brush her hair

Then braid it 

I like the sound

It is comforting 

Safe 

Like warm arms

Wrapped around a body 

There was a rime

When I took the blade

Scratched the skin

Like sharpened nails

Now we dream

Instead 

Something is missing

But we do not know 

What 

Perhaps our past is a myth

The steady flow of 

A river

Cool waters

We swim and play

Create our own magic

A place where 

No one can find us

Or hurt us

A place

Where we will always

Be together. 

The Hill of Hope

She takes my hand

There are many hills 

To climb 

Hope recedes 

Happiness crawls away 

We take the powder 

All that is true 

And real 

October fades 

Into winter 

We will sleep

Dream and trip

Mother goes

Father stays 

So many things 

To forget and swallow 

We will climb 

The hill of hope

October ends soon 

November will 

Bring sparrows and magpies 

Stars and clouds 

The leaves fall

We will forever climb.

To Mars

The mornings feel possible

We are tired 

But sing our song 

We like the quietude 

Of dawn

It happens in a moment 

We catch it

In our hands

Like wild horses

Running across

An empty beach 

Taking in the air

The salty water 

Hooves silent 

In the sand 

Remember when we used 

To ride our bikes

Down the hill

Wind raising our hair

Colouring our cheeks 

The movement was

As easy as speaking 

Now we are a million miles away

On Mars

She claps her hands in glee

We have no plans to leave

Or stay 

We will ride out

This adventure

Until we tumble down 

To our feet.  

Mother Home

She takes my hand 

In hers 

If I could

I would cry

Home is so very far away 

Mother took away 

Our dreams 

She dances 

With our soul 

The rain pours down our window

The fresh green grass

Filters up our nose 

A Strange dance

Of hunger

And belonging 

We do not know 

Where to go 

What to do

Who to become 

We reach out

To mother 

Our nemesis 

And love

All that takes us home.

Riverside

We get tremulous without

The powder 

It wraps around our bones

Like weeds

Pierces our flesh 

Like thistles 

We cannot refuse it

It is an urgent need

More urgent than words

She asks

I think for a moment 

The choice is complicated 

It ripples inside

Our bellies 

Like birds in

An hibiscus bush 

Claiming the flowers 

Flapping the leaves 

All of this makes us stuck

Glued to the bed

Bitter

Like lemon tea

We wish for more

A stroll by the riverside

A toe dipped in water 

I touch my face 

Feel the tears

Unsure of how

This became us 

Defined our very being.

Poems and Time

We lose track of time

As we read this beautiful poem 

All our adventures

Wrapped up

Condensed 

Like milk

Sweet to the tooth

Light on the heart

We boil the kettle

Fill the bowls 

Let's pretend at making tea

She claps her hands

In glee

We lay everything out

On the table

Shiny spoons

Delicate plates

We will eat

When the moon drops

When we have to light a candle

Say a prayer

Enjoy our feast

We enjoy the silence

The fact that we can 

Sit at the table together

Take this poem 

We whisper

Time is flying by. 

Afternoon

The stars flash in the sky

We see them spinning

Like wheels 

Bright like cherry tomatoes

Heavy and ripe 

On the vine 

Good enough to eat

We look out of the window

See the fields

We have faith in the green grass

A future where we can 

Alight and be happy 

We trust our eyes

Break down the brick walls 

Everything is a story

Letters and words

Sweet sugar 

And rich tea

This is how we spend

Our afternoon

How it spreads into evening 

And dreams 

We like to lie in bed

Look up at the sky

Count the clouds 

Watch out for rain 

See the people 

Busy and loud 

We prefer the silence 

Sit together in hope

And wonder 

Dream of far off shores 

Andalusia 

Mountains and flowers 

We close our eyes

And travel 

Far beyond the window

Deep into the afternoon. 

Storm, Ink, Love

The blue butterfly

Rests upon my ankle

It kisses my flesh 

Tiny lines of ink

That make me feel loved

I wish all my skin

Was ink

Not scars 

When I look in the mirror 

I do not recognise myself

It is like a storm 

Passing through

Relentless 

Unforgiving 

She touches my cheek

As if to say

Everything is ok 

Her skin is like porcelain 

Pure and soft 

I look at the baby pictures

Wonder how I became 

Can you see self destruction

In a baby's eyes 

Your eyes were full

Of hope

She whispers 

Just like yours

I reply

We will spend another day

Together 

Ride out the storm

Marvel at the ink

Know that we love each other

And all will be well. 

Rooms by the Sea

There was a time

When all we wanted was pills

Anything to line our stomach

Take a hold of our senses

And tumble down 

The stairwell 

We would keep then in a bowl

Like candy

Ready to chew 

To dance and sing 

To buzz around the apartment

Like bees

Heavy with nectar 

We would fall 

Upon the rug

A soft landing 

Like letting the ocean

Lap against our toes

Were they good days

Or bad

We remember 

And forget 

Like an adventure 

We couldn't control

Now we are older 

And all we crave 

Is rooms by the sea

Brilliant blue

And cool 

Cool

Waves. 

Scent

She leans her head

Into my shoulder

Her hair smells like

Vanilla and peaches

Youth and light 

We will sit for a while 

In the sun

Watch the people go by

Busy and hot

Summer peeps into 

The window 

One last hurrah 

Blue skies

And wasps 

Flowers standing tall

And full of colour 

It makes us sleepy

Ready for bed

Her breathing slows

We are peaceful 

Connected

And strong 

We push the worries away

Dream of brighter things 

Her skin is warm

It lights up the world 

I love the scent of her

The very essence of her being. 

What's Going On

What's going on

She asks

I don't know Little Cricket

But I feel a bit peculiar 

These hills are making me breathless 

I am not sure I can 

Climb them any more 

I am like a steam train

Running out of coal

She skips and twirls

In front of me

Of course you can climb

She says with glee

Just take my hand

And follow me

How can I give up

With her light shining 

Right in front of me

I reach out

Take her porcelain fingers

In mine

Feel the electric charge

The power of being young 

Strong blonde hair

And sparkling blue eyes

We pick up speed 

The top of the hill almost in sight

My legs ache

My chest burns 

And yet I feel happy 

With her every day 

Is an adventure

An achievement 

I feel my breath

Want to sing and dance

Welcome the end of one day

Look forward to waking up 

To the next

It is a revolution

She giggles

As we lie down on top of the hill. 

Two Photographs

I raise the cup 

To my lips 

Fingers bent

Around the handle 

The tea tastes 

Like pebbles

Knots of hard water

Sticking to the back

Of my throat 

I look into her eyes

She is frowning

Working out a puzzle

I don't like the space

Between us

I would like to feel her hand

On mine

See how firm 

Her grip is

We mumble prayers

A crack in the ointment

Our silent therapy 

If I had a camera

I would take a selfie

Of us both

Two people

Two photographs 

A moment in time

Captured in amber. 

Triumph

It is a small triumph

That we wake up every day

See the clouds in the sky

Smell the freshly cut grass

Fill our stomachs with sugar

And treats

Leave enough room

For a freshly brewed tea

In our finest china cups

She smiles in glee

Perhaps it is just enough

To be

To breathe

To watch the clouds

To not be in pain 

It is a fine line 

Between triumph 

And distaster 

We have been teetering on it

For many years

The disasters stain our skin

Always there

Impossible to wash away

Or hide

Would we be without them

I ponder 

They mark out our time

Our life 

The dark years

Not the dark days

Which pepper our life now

We hold hands

And electricity flows through

Our veins 

For this single moment in time

We feel triumphant 

And that is good for me

And her.

The Humming-Bird

The humming-bird

Flies outside our window

We twist our head to look

We like how it bobs and nods

Eager to seek out the nectar 

The glass melts away

And for one moment 

We fly with it 

Darting and whizzing

Keen to catch 

Our shadow

We listen for the ring

Of the humming-bird's beak

It is clear

Like rain on a tin roof

We catch it

Remember it like a dream

Our flight is

Printed in our mind

Small spurts of energy

On grey days 

We smile and nod

At the blue and green feathers

We are glad the humming-bird

Visited us today

Its beauty and lightness

Filled our mind

Made us hope 

And fly

Just like magic.

Muscle Memory

When we were young

We were light on our feet

We could spin in circles

Bright as a Catherine Wheel

Without tripping 

Or falling

I spent a lot of time

Standing on my head

I liked to see the room

From a different view

She giggles

It's magic isn't it

Pretending 

Having adventures

That only we remember 

I wonder how she feels

To be stuck in her body

Small and compact

Quite well indeed

She replies 

With a wink and a smile

My body has changed

It no longer remembers

Jumping and playing

It is heavy

Like old 

Sodden logs

Hard to move

Not springy any more

I'm sure I could make it remember

How it once moved

How I once danced

And turned tumbles

It's all just muscle memory

But my biggest muscle

My brain 

Is like a brake pedal

It stops me moving

Having fun

She takes my hand

Waves it in the air

See you still can be free

She sings the tune 

That is in her head

I like that she is happy

Maybe today I will sing with her

And we will dance

Until we are tired

And fall into bed

Content with the day

And the lives 

We have lived

In our bodies. 

Survivor

We are kneeling 

In the light 

Of our small recovery 

The backside of the pillow

Is warm

Where our hands 

Have been knotted

In prayers 

And proverbs 

Glorious words

Which soothe us

Make us laugh and weep

Surviving is a thin line

One on which we have 

Waited for many years

Perhaps today will be better

Tomorrow 

Even more so

She smiles

And her teeth shine 

Like milky stars

In the moon lit sky

We are both survivors

I say in a whisper

We have found our own way

In the world

Learnt from our adventures 

And falls 

Now we are near the end

Of the puzzle 

Near to rest

And glorious dreaming.

Tea

Shall we take tea

She asks

Eyes shining like

The bluest glass marble

That sounds just right 

I say

Stretching my arms

She claps her hands in glee

I fill the kettle

Put it on the stove

We like to hear the

Water bubble and boil

And of course the whistle

Like a steam train

We will use our best plates

And silver knives and forks

There will be hot toast

And melting butter

Plenty of jam and honey

Cakes to follow

And maybe strawberries 

And cream 

We will taste every morsel

Ponder over the sweetness

And the earthy sips of tea

Her legs jiggle under the table

She is happy 

And that makes me happy too

We would like to invite you to tea

To share in the happiness

All you have to do is close 

Your eyes

And pull up a chair

So very easy

Like make believe

We giggle

Licking the sugar

From our lips. 

Guy

When I was young 

And wild

I did not hesitate 

About jumping in the car

With that guy

The one with 

Long hair

And a smashed in face

We muttered and pretended

To be lovers 

He said 

I thought you would save me

I replied

You have to save yourself 

I slammed on the breaks

Kicked him out

Not in fury

And losing him

Did not make me crumble

I had the front

Of mother

Cool and calculating

So here I am now

With Alice

The car has gone

There are no more guys

We are happy about that

She whispers

They only bring trouble

And loss 

I am glad that 

I did run away though

It made a bad story

A little more exciting 

Moveable

Now we are static

Forever eating jam and tea 

I look in her eyes

They are blue

Blue as the sea

We miss and pine for

Only a short stop away

Waiting for us when we are ready

To go there again. 

Laugh

The last time we laughed

We were by the sea

Watching the boats

Bob up and down 

On the water

Feeling the salty wind

Kiss our cheeks

And of course

There was vanilla ice cream

She giggles

We ate it on a bench

Happy to be together 

To have each others

Hand to hold

To feel safe

Loved

And happy 

The day by the sea

Is now a picture

A memory

One that we treasure 

And hold

One that we would 

Never like to lose

The sea moved 

And we moved with it

Like taking a breath

Or waking from sleep

Now we are back in the room

Awake but a little lost

We have shiny beads

And a silver ring

It reminds us 

Of good days 

It reminds us

That we are loved

That we are not alone 

And there is a bigger world

If we only venture 

Outside the room

Alice sighs

Glad for once

That I understand 

The meaning of adventure

That perhaps we will laugh again. 

Psalm

We offer up our prayers

As we awake

They keep trouble 

From the door

Like grass

In the wilderness

The letters sway and weep

And yet we do not

Wish to cry

We hold the bread 

On our tongue

Close our eyes

And wait for an answer

It will come she whispers

Always the one to believe 

No longer are our withered bones

Stretched upon the hearth

We no longer lie on the floor

We sit on the chairs

Or sleep in the bed

Our life is not

Beyond reproach 

But our prayers 

Will make it better

We light a candle

Sit on the wooden pews

How many times have

We walked here

So many 

That we no longer need to think

This is our place of worship 

A quiet place 

A cool flush upon our forehead

We feel calm

At peace 

Another hopeful day to come.

Happily Ever After

We will live 

Happily ever after

She asks

Chewing on a crumpet

And jam

I place my teacup on the table

Think before I answer

Yes Little Cricket

I think we will

If we try very hard

She claps her hands

In glee

We really do enjoy 

Being together

It makes everything

Around us 

Glitter like gold

It makes 

Time fly

And dreams linger

It makes all things good

She takes a last bite

Wipes the butter

From her lips

I love her more

Than life itself

I am your life she declares

And I am yours

I reply

The sun gently rises

Slips in through 

The curtains

Today we will think 

And play

Rest our heads on 

Each others shoulders

We will feel peaceful

Happy 

And full.

Country of Water

We breathe in the sweet

Bubbling water

Of this forgotten country

Our chest rises 

And falls 

Like a meditation 

Or a prayer 

The morning 

Beckons us 

Sunlight filters 

Through the curtains

Pronouncing the day

There are many choices 

To make

In this honey trap 

I promise her I will not leave

And her breaths grow longer

More at ease

What a place 

We have arrived in

Close to the sea 

And hills

We like early mornings

It is quiet 

And we can listen 

To our thoughts 

We do not like the sound

Of people over head

It scares us 

Today we will walk 

Say hello to the people

We pass every day 

Perhaps we are at home here

In this country of water

Perhaps we can open our eyes

And smile. 

What Pleases Me

What pleases you

She asks 

As we sink into the bed

I look at her shining face

Her sparkling eyes

I take a deep breath 

And say 

A lot pleases me 

Little Cricket 

The moon shining in the window

The stars glimmering

The thought that the day

Has passed 

And we have been safe

Clean clothes 

On a warm day

The smell of washing powder

Filling up our senses 

Shiny shoes

And bare toes

Our colourful beads 

And silky hair 

Walks by the sea

Green hills

Vanilla ice cream

Sitting up

Not lying down 

Seeing the world differently 

With clear eyes

And a clear mind 

Our breathing slows

We are in that beautiful haze

Between awake and sleeping 

Muscles relaxed 

Fingers unclenched 

I wonder if we will dream tonight

Good dreams 

As good as the daytime daydreams 

We close our eyes

And I whisper

Most of all 

You please me

Being together 

And holding each other close

That is more than enough.