Weekend

The weekend comes
It bothers us
Makes us fretful
We imagine planting roses
Riding a bicycle
Being free
But we are tethered
To this hole
An endless pit
We swat away the flies
We do not like their looping dance
In another world we are a wife
And mother
In this world
We are alone
Perhaps that suits us better
We like to laze and dream
Drink and forget
We have each other
She whispers
And I reach for her tiny hand
Time is not to be afraid of
We need not run like Rabbit
Or forget it like Hatter
We should pour a glass of tea
Savour every sweet drop
This is where we belong
On the fringes of Wonderland
Behind the mirror
Chasing cats and hoping to meet the Red Queen
She is magic
Don't you know
I remember her
The time after the bridge
Running naked
Nothing mattering any more
But there were people who helped
Stopped the chaos
Eased my head
Such a long time ago
Still so near
What we were informs us
Makes us dizzy
And so another week passes
We are neither better or worse
We just are
Perhaps that is enough.

Bananas

Are we bananas asks Alice
Of course little cricket
Don't you remember what he said
All the best people are
I should like to take tea again
Fancy cakes and hot sweet nectar
What are we now
Poets I think
That seems very grand indeed
Well, we write poems
Scribble down our words
Do we like poetry
Of course
Though stories keep us happy
She ponders
Quite at ease with both definitions of ourselves
It is not a bad life
Neither is it good
But as long as we have words
We will be.

Longing

How we long for the ocean
Sweet salty kisses on our toes
We can feel the tide
Gentle
Lapping
We could stay there forever
Dreaming
Sleeping
It is good to long for something
Even if it is outside our reach
Perhaps we will greet the shore again
Perhaps we won't
But at least we have the memory
The wind rustles our hair
Smells delicious
Like cinnamon
We trail along the tide line
Running
Skipping
Playing
It is good to be free
To have a longing
Is to have the sweetest pearl of thought
We savour every breath
Hope for more
Content for what we have
Our feet get wet
It feels good to feel the ocean
This longing keeps us alive
Far removed from sleep and dreams.

My Story

Her face is soft and yielding
Full of sweet notes
And cadences
We sing together
The sound worth more than the rhyme
Together we walk
A special day
Leaves falling
Sky turning blue
We wish for coldness
To feel huddled up
Our notes trace our steps
A slow kind of tune
We would not know how to dance quickly
We would rather walk slowly
Taking in the air
Absorbing the sights and sounds
Together we sing as one
She has a sweet and tender voice
I caw like a crow
She doesn't mind
As long as we are both singing
We dream of drinking lemonade
We dream of empty fields
Her face will illuminate the air
Sweet cheeks
And bright pink lips
We wish to sing
We wish to feel
We wish to be as one
And so I fall into her face
And sleep peacefully
Full of pink and purple.

Grief

We are born into life
With a contained grief
Crushed
Aching
Once a puzzle
Now a dance
We sit a while
Muffle a scream
Wash our hands
Light the fire
The beam chases up the walls
It is a subtle twilight
A forgotten endurance
We cannot remember what we have stolen
It is all in the past
A common bond
We have found a way forward
A way to balance the grief
We dream of better days
Hope there is more light
Less suffering
Her sweet cheeks glow in the half light
Drowsy and content
I watch her drift off into sleep
And for one tiny moment the world feels right.

Cinnamon

Her hair is sweet like cinnamon
I gulp it up
Like our latest dosage of Risperdone
We plunge into the styx
Knock on the warden's door
He is busy
Watering flowers
Putting up trees
Stocking shelves
Tending carefully
We groan in lemon
Fixed to our bed
Drinking sweet elixir
Wishing we didn't
Such a strong urge to stop from calling
We scrabble in the sticks
Dreaming in onyx
Praying in stars
Today is heavy
We hope that tomorrow is lighter
I hold onto the scent of hair
Snuggle up and sleep
It is sweet
Intoxicating.

Awakening

It is a quiet type of awakening
Eyes bright
Hair smoothed down
We smell poppies and milk
A sweet elixir
We take sips from the copper cup
It is cool and soothing
Days trip into days
We sleep
Dream
Walk
Hope for something better
We wash in warm water
Let the bubbles sink into our skin
It is the small things that make us feel awake
The Red Bed calls
We must decline its offer
Stay awake
Occupy our minds
It is so hard to be
It is never easy
Says Alice
Always so many riddles to solve
Rivers of tears to cross
Each step is a movement forward
And we become
The smell of warm laundry filters through our senses
We are home
Home is safe.

Dallying

We are dallying in the mud
Heavy rain bouncing off the branches
Pounding out its rhythm
We linger under the cracks in the sky
The light catches her eyes
They are bright
Clear as a new dawn
We pick flowers to place in vases
The sap trickles down our fingers
We lick it up like honey
The day passes
Like work we toil to stay awake
Every single moment imminent
That is the risk of being
We set off again
Faces smeared
Rain or tears
We are not sure
Our thoughts feel strained
Sometimes it feels as if our insides fall out
Uncontrollable
Unnoticed
The mud dries
We climb the stairs
Fill a pitcher with water
Place the flowers on the window sill
Crack our bones and try to sleep.

Flash Back

Alice skips trips through the mirror
We are entering a flash back
A river of tears
Hatter and Rabbit
And of course the Red Queen
We drink sweet liquor to keep warm
Wrapped up in the bed
Toes dancing
Always waiting
Today there will be a flood
Tomorrow we will not remember it
Such is the course of things
Do we live in the past
She asks
I doubt we live anywhere
I answer
The cold presses us to the blankets
We dare not sleep
Only dream
We have to be awake up to cross back through the mirror
There are no cats to follow
Only the route set in our heart
We eat sandwiches as the light fades
It fills us up
Stops the liquor from making us sick
I look at the mirror from my bed
Always knowing she will return.

Yield

Winter lays an arm across our shoulder
Her skin is soft
And yielding
We lean into her
She makes us feel safe
High above the storms
Watching the leaves break up under foot
She glows
Like opals on a clear blue night
She has a scent
Fresh
Like a breeze
It turns our cheeks pink
She watches over us
Shields us from the cold and dark
A little bit like a moon
Says Alice
As we huddle under blankets
Toes wiggling to keep warm
Winter will not stay for long
She will disappear when the birds return
We like her emptiness
Her open heart
She is far kinder than the Red Queen
We lie still
Yield to her weight
Happy that her season is here.

Burnished

We polish our stones
Quietly absorbed in our work
We enter into a stubborn grief
The taste bitter on our tongue
Unaware of what we have become
Perhaps we have failed
Perhaps we have triumphed
It is difficult to understand
She leans into me
Tiny breaths whispering on my shoulder
Sweet as honey
We need to choose the best stone
The stone which tells our story
Our fingers are brittle from the scrubbing
But the smoothness makes the pain taste sweet
The stones shine with silver and blue
Just like the sea
Just like our constant movement
We take a sip of water
Let it settle
Place the stones at our feet and rest our head
We are glad to have them
They make us shine.

Authentic

Her smile is authentic
Soft as pearls
Bright as daisies
She rests her head upon my shoulder
Tired and sleepy
There have been lots of riddles to solve today
We are pleased to see the moon
To walk the dark streets
And wonder
We are lucky to find truth in our path
There have been so many lies
Too many games
When I look at her face
Everything is clear and true
We know each other
Sometimes it feels as if we are one
Breathing
Dreaming
Smiling
We float on the pale leaves of the moon.

Mother

How we wish for a mothers love
Strong arms to hold us
Soft eyes to watch us sleep
A warmth we barely know
An ache so hollow it makes us bleed
We dream of her
The mother of our wishes
She is strong
Big enough to hold our sadness
Old enough to teach us the way
We tread the forest path alone
Stumble
Fall
Find our own way
It is clumsy but we know no different
We wonder who we would be
With the love of our dream mother
Perhaps if she were real
We would not need words
Or each other
Perhaps our journey would have been less scary
In her absence we have to learn to love ourselves
Some days we can
Others we can't
Such is light and dark
Awake and dreaming
All the mothers in the world
Watch over us
Maybe one day they will reach out and embrace us.

Willow

The willows sway
Like autumn breath
They are stooped
Like ungainly ancestors
Swinging and moving
Breaking their solitude
Following songs only they can hear
Another year passes
What we don't say is our absence
We are used to silence
It carries us into dreams
The rain beats on the window
A steady rhythm
A darkening day
We lie together in the red bed
Wondering
Keeping each other warm
Perhaps the wind will bring in new words
A different song
Perhaps tomorrow will be different
Although the repetition brings us peace
A solidity we cannot name
Do we have wishes
She asks
No more than a willow tree
I think
Water
Air
Earth
Leaves through which to breathe
Autumn wraps us up
Holds us steady
Carries our wishes on the breeze.