Flare

April falls early this year

She likes a tumble

We giggle

Huddled together

Holding the pain

Singing the spell

We are warm

Not burning

We get lost like this for hours

Toffee moulding to the roof of our mouth

A sugar steeple

Sure and strong

Full of spare little blessings 

I found a pin 

I say 

A propos of nothing

It grew big as the moon 

On the bridge of my nose

I pressed and debated

Swooped and swirled

Then like a riddle

I pulled it right out 

She shrugs

She can do that

Cut me down to size

Quick sticks

Drink up tight

They spilt the milk

We cried

All night

Are we following the signs 

I am bored says Alice

Let’s leave town

Skip trip

Rise and shine

Grab our coats

Comb the goat

There are things we need to remember 

You are a strange little girl

She pokes her tongue out

The bandages ooze like melting ice

It makes me shiver

Why did you choose a rose

Because it is strong

And red

And pretty

Like blood

Or ruby slippers

I try and sound easy

Distressed

With flair 

Not flare

I know

She says

Let's colour ourselves in

My hands are curled 

Stuck frigid

As plans go 

It's not so bad

She grabs the pencils

Lines them up

There is order in everything she says

Hours

Stars

Cakes

And sugar

Twelve little pennies

On a zodiac wheel

We get lost like this for hours

Falling through the floor

Slipping through the lines.

Held

The snow falls down

Like kisses 

I lick them up

Taste you

It's on the television silly

You're eating the carpet again

There is a lot to forget

Nothing to remember 

Part worn

Part tired

Silent

Sad

Reduced

I want to be held

I think 

A propos of nothing

At least he left before the storm came 

The world works like that

Sometimes

We are treading water

Spilling flies

Small stones of reality 

Dragging us down

The fall

Pathetic

Ridiculous

Seamless

Not as engaged in the game as we once were

Not brave enough to leave

Not brave enough to be

You know what our problem is

Only one I think

We have no normality markers

That’s why nobody understands

She has a point

She usually does 

I want it so badly Alice

It never goes away

Because you won’t let it silly

Just like you hang onto me

I respect your courage
The good lady said

The blue ballon

Falls down

On the string is tied a golden key

I reach for it

My wish radical

I think
Waiting to be held.

Bound

The journey starts with an iron and a pin

There is no witness

Look my eyes are dead

Says Alice

Drawing circles on the ground

We push the trolley

Like an anchor

Round and round

Stronger than granite

Tied to the ground

Powder hangs fiercely 

In our hair

Fact and fiction 

Blended in night

Butterflies blue

All wrapped up tight

We are dead all over

I sway

Nailed in a box

Fighting the fix

Searching for light 

Woe is me 

She trembles

Eyes glinting

True freedom only comes when you reject all help 

She states

A propos of nothing

I pull the panels

Take one for the team

Bad grinds bones in the tree

It's really quite nice she says

Like disappearing

Sinking in moss

Or flying our kites

I could hit my head for hours

Hush

Rush

Go 

Away

Actions speak louder than words

Shame your hands are too heavy then

The journey starts with an iron and a pin

There is no witness

No praise 

No guilt

No sin

She draws circles on the ground

Start 

Stop 

End

Begin

Take a risk she whispers

Are you out or in.

Stock

Let's take stock

Stir the soup

Climb the mountain

It's quiet up here

No roaring 

She giggles

Just so

She swings on the stars

Like playground bars

Look at me

I am peaking and troughing

I am below

Looking up madly

Scattered

Battered

Frayed and splattered

New lows expected at midday tomorrow 

She sings 

Beep beep beep

Four o’clock chimes

Its nocturnal omen

Over and over and over

We are all

Tricks and smiles

Coins and curtsies 

Prayers pinned on walls

Likely to fall

Colour hidden

Smiles forbidden

Look at me I am flying

She squeals

The stars bend and bough

Sugar drips down

I catch spider in my hand

Her legs are soft 

Her belly round

I wish we were a story 

She says

Coming down

With a frown

I drop the spoon in the sink

It clatters 

Batters

Rattles 

Hatter 

When I was little 

I was not afraid

I broke the spine

Stirred the soup

Climbed the mountain

Plugged the roars

Now I am old

Looking up madly

Scattered

Battered

Frayed and splattered.

Knot

I fumble the morning knot

Trying not to remember 

She unties her shoes

Drops down the shaft

Like a pilot she squeals 

Forget me

Forget me not

It’s all just a game 

Can’t you see

The liquid stands in the barrel

Stagnant

Useless

Stale

Like mummy’s old soup

And father’s roar

We stay still for a moment

Silent

Grey

No point dawdling

Busy busy 

Bustle bustle

Off with their head

I try a smile

She watches

They won’t come back silly

It’s a memory

No one returns

Unless you invite them

There is justice in her logic

Kindness in her heart

My fingers tremble 

Scratch and ache for more

Let’s eat jelly beans

And sit on our hands

I can’t claim a better plan

We sit tight

Fluctuating glances

Smiles

Frowns

Hums and songs

By the third hour we conjugate verbs

Reviens

Revient

Revenons

I guess we will in the end

She says

Return

I can’t remember what we were

But can’t dismiss her light

We quietly sigh

Look 

Our hands are turning purple 

Pansies

Poppies

Irises

Engage

Engages 

Engageons

We are bound together like flowers

Hardly angry

Hardly tired

I fumble the morning knot

Trying not to remember.

Harrow

The bag opens

Bye bye kitty she says 

Tying off her arm 

With the telephone cord

My hand goes purple

You have terrible veins 

That was the plan 

It was meant to be foolproof

Immaculate

Perfect

I tap the empty pen barrel 

Looking for words 

Lame

Useless

Dead 

Let's cure the elements

Dissect dolly

Lament

I

Meant

Too

Like I meant to be harrowed

We're like cockroaches she says

Crunching

Delicious ones

Coated in chocolate and cream

Pain is quick

I am an ache

I stay for ever and ever

No one knows Alice

What it's really like down here

Why should they

This is our world

Not theirs

She sits on the counter

Swings her feet

She’s not wearing shoes

That means we are staying in

Colour only counts 

When it resides in your soul

She says

Lucid

It hardly counts when it brushes paper

We bend truth like spoons 

Warm as treacle

Thick as porridge

Why do you turn everything into food

I just do

Silly

It fills a hole

The skin is broken

Bleeding

It is really no surprise that we need chemicals to feel

Shut down

Cut out

Ring ring

Dead phone

The bag opens

Bye bye kitty she says 

Tying off her arm 

With the telephone cord.