I fumble the morning knot
Trying not to remember
She unties her shoes
Drops down the shaft
Like a pilot she squeals
Forget me
Forget me not
It’s all just a game
Can’t you see
The liquid stands in the barrel
Stagnant
Useless
Stale
Like mummy’s old soup
And father’s roar
We stay still for a moment
Silent
Grey
No point dawdling
Busy busy
Bustle bustle
Off with their head
I try a smile
She watches
They won’t come back silly
It’s a memory
No one returns
Unless you invite them
There is justice in her logic
Kindness in her heart
My fingers tremble
Scratch and ache for more
Let’s eat jelly beans
And sit on our hands
I can’t claim a better plan
We sit tight
Fluctuating glances
Smiles
Frowns
Hums and songs
By the third hour we conjugate verbs
Reviens
Revient
Revenons
I guess we will in the end
She says
Return
I can’t remember what we were
But can’t dismiss her light
We quietly sigh
Look
Our hands are turning purple
Pansies
Poppies
Irises
Engage
Engages
Engageons
We are bound together like flowers
Hardly angry
Hardly tired
I fumble the morning knot
Trying not to remember.
WOW! There is such a mystical quality to this poem so many layers of depth and meaning don't know which I love most the "morning knot" or "fluctuating glances." Beautifully executed!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for participating Jae :D means a lot to me!
Lots of love,
Sanaa
Thank you too Sanaa - good to have an extra challenge as well.. :)
DeleteI love the alliteration and the divergent shades woven into one...
ReplyDeleteThank you Gazal - and i love the phrase 'divergent shades'
DeleteSometimes the best thing a person can do is eat jelly beans and sit on one's hands. But, oh my, hopefully the hands will not turn purple in the process. Except maybe it isn't so bad if it is from grape jelly beans. Smiles.
ReplyDeleteYes there are worse things to do in the face of adversity or tough afternoons thank you kindly Mary - the purple could well be from the grape jelly beans...brought to mind Welch's grape juice as well...not easy to find here but I remember it as deliciously sweet..thank you kindly :)
Deletetruthful words.
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteThe past is gone but we drag it behind us on a chain that is hard to break. This is one of your most telling, effective and saddest posts Jae and I hope it was helpful to write it.
ReplyDeleteThank you kindly Old Egg -reminds me of Jacob Marley's chains - oddly it was a less gloomy day i suppose the words take you where they take you..yes..writing is helpful - more so having people to wave hi across the miles
DeleteOh I love a poem that ends as it starts, yet fills the space between with weight... excellent use of silence here...
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Bjorn - i never know if i do that too much so appreciate the feedback thank you
Delete"I can’t remember what we were
ReplyDeleteBut can’t dismiss her light"
and
"morning knot
Trying not"..... a very emotive write
Thank you Debi - much appreciated
Delete"I can't claim a better plan" than eating jelly beans! Love that. Sometimes, that really might be the best plan for the moment ;-)
ReplyDeleteGlad you agree - like a mini meal in a box...thank you kindly C.C. :)
Deletegive a lot of things
ReplyDeletenice written jae
good luck!
Thanks N.S.K.
DeleteWonderful write... No one returns/ Unless you invite them... those are tough lines. If only...
ReplyDeleteIf only is the perfect epithet thank you thotpurge..somedays they come invitation or not.. thank you...
Deleteit is sad when smile becomes a memory...
ReplyDeleteYes - hopefully there maybe another..thank you Sumana :)
Deletei detect a tinge of sadness here. sitting on the hands for hours. and thinking of "justice in her logic,Kindness in her heart".
ReplyDelete"hugs"
Thank you ds - safe to say we were not full of the joys of spring..thank you for the *hugs*
DeleteIt's like free-fall, or tumbling into the middle of one's thoughts. Just loved this.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Marilyn..that rabbit hole of thought is a pest
DeleteI fumble the morning knot
ReplyDeleteTrying not to remember.
There seems to be some difficulties in little things in the morning. Perhaps one needs a warm-up to start the day!
Hank
Absolutely Hank - a nice cup of coffee to untangle things..thank you kindly
Delete"sit on our hand and eat jelly beans"?!! Delightful as each image here - calling me for a second snd third read :),
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Pearl - the second and third jelly beans call as well ;)
DeleteI feel the scars, like a tree's knots, that show where earlier limbs once grew. How I love this truth!:
ReplyDelete"The liquid stands in the barrel
Stagnant
Useless
Stale
Like mummy’s old soup
And father’s roar"
We can inject it or not, and choose not. It's a step to the comfort of scars from useless limbs and open wounds. I have come to like my scars, as they mark much of the road I have traveled.
Thank you for your insightful comment - yes choosing whether to inject the things that hurt you is a momentous decision...but when it is a decision there is still hope..and yes, scars can tell a story of strength not just hardship or pity..thank you kindly
DeleteGreat job with the words. I felt I was traveling down a mine shaft as I read it, and I liked the top/bottom repetition - like the top and bottom foundationals of a pillar.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great analogy. Thank you very much nan
DeleteI was free falling as I read this Jae Rose. And I read it several times...conjugating verbs, wishing for the sweet jelly beans to ease the pain. But these words stick with me...
ReplyDelete'I guess we will in the end
She says
Return
I can’t remember what we were
But can’t dismiss her light
We quietly sigh'
My these are so deeply touching!
Donna@LivingFromHappiness
Thank you for falling with us Donna...I am glad there was a line that may have eased the descent..we appreciate even one fall with us...and always welcome your comments
Deleteto realize stagnancy, and to capsize these are quite interesting elements presented to us in your Alice-que journals today
ReplyDeletehave a good Sunday Jae
much love...
Those are fitting descriptions thank you Gillena - a peaceful Sunday to you too
DeleteI have often fumbled with the 'morning knot'....I enjoyed reading your piece...and fumbling with the morning knot. I wanted to write something fresh, but found myself writing again, what I have written before. I once asked a friend, if she kept a journal...she said," I did once, then I reread what I had written and found I just kept writing the same thing over and over, so I quit." Well, maybe we didn't get it right the first times we wrote it? Maybe that is why I sometimes think I have written it before...I have heard we tell the story over and over to ourselves, until we find the right words, then we don't have to tell it anymore. May this year be devoted to finding the 'right words.'.....or are we each assigned a story, which we are destined to tell over and over?
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful comment thank you Annell - now the knot makes sense as we are tangled up in the same story...yes I think we write until it's right inside...I hope so at least and that involves reptition and hopefully tiny movements forward each time as we understand more. I hope...here's to a new year, the right words and new chapters
DeleteLike Bjorn, I love the way you begin and close with the same lines, and take us on a journey in between. I note the staleness of mummy's old soup and father's roar. And the wondering if one will return. I LOVE "no one returns unless you invite them....there's justice in her logic, kindness in her heart." Happy Sunday, my friend. May it be as bright as jelly beans.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being our faithful companion on that journey Sherry -'and bright as jelly beans...there has to be a story or line to come with that one ;) happy Sunday to you also xo
DeleteOh yes, the morning knot. I sense a little melancholy in this piece. Thank goodness for jelly beans.
ReplyDeleteMy Whirl!
It's a bind isn't it thank you Keith - thank heavens for jelly beans, coffee and perky companions
DeleteSo beautifully weaved :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Purba :)
DeleteWhen I was in the deepest depression of my existence, a stranger told me that the best advice she could give me was to keep telling my story until I didn't need to anymore. She was right. No matter how many times we retell it, with each exhalation, its burden becomes that much less. We struggle to find new ways, new words to express it, something you hint at here. I no longer keep a journal. These weekly word lists are shaping my story in a manner that is soul satisfying. Thank you for your reflections,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
It is magic when someone kind and knowing tells you that - thank you - writing our way out the darkness is like breathing..and being..I agree the weekly wordlists are invaluable...not only can we write but we find people who connect and 'know' - thank you for your reflections also
Deletepowerful word drops.
ReplyDeleteThank you
Delete"No one returns
ReplyDeleteUnless you invite them"
WRONG. That's the opposite of true. And even the opposite isn't true. The truth is, no one returns unless they want to. Unless they have no choice and their body drags them bag. Until then, there's nothing you can do but "eat jelly beans And sit on our hands." Nah, I'm kiddin'. Even that's wrong. NEVER sit on your hands ... or eat too many jelly beans. Although, I did used to live on M&Ms, chili-cheese Fritos, and Cokes. The trick is not to eat anything else. :) But seriously, dancing is the answer. Drown yourself in music and movement. Catch that vibe, baby. Make your own fun.
But for what it's worth, my prediction is late February / early March. For the come-back, I mean.
YES!!! I LOVE this: "By the third hour we conjugate verbs"
And this section:
"Our hands are turning purple
Pansies
Poppies
Irises
Engage"
The morning "not." That's what I fumble with not remembering. :)
I love your comment - it speaks of wonderfully bouncing jelly bean thoughts! Thank you
DeleteI love the pace of your poems. And how artfully you craft them. It is all so childlike and varied in moods. Keep them coming. I'm reading.
ReplyDeleteI think we will keep scribbling no fear James - thank you very much!
DeleteThis made me think of the art of Irish knots and how many old cultures keep track of their sheep returning to the pen by making a series of complicated knots for counting. And it made me think too of Marley's chains, how he forged them in life and doomed to carry them with him. Sometimes, we have to break those chains and float off free and sometimes, we have to take a break and eat jelly beans. I like the cherry and grape ones best, especially if they are Skittles jelly beans. A sad right, especially that heart full of logic. Right decisions don't always make one happy.
ReplyDeleteThank you for every flavour of this comment Toni - so many truths and things to think about..the last sentence particularly..never tried skittles jelly beans and never have the reserve to eat one bean at once to savour the flavour ;)
DeleteThe knots of truth are often hard to unravel. They leave their scars. Forget me forget me not plucking those petals to find the answers.
ReplyDeleteForget me
Forget me not
It’s all just a game
Can’t you see
When written out by you that game doesn't seem so much fun - thank you for showing that..truth is indeed hard to unravel..thank you very much Truedessa
DeleteJae, I see a couple of people mentioned the free-falling feel to this. I echo their responses. Very nicely done. Good to read you again, it has been too long.
ReplyDeletePamela ox
And very good to see you and read your comment Pamela..i look forward to reading your work and hope you are well xo
DeleteA whole journey is made...between the opening and closing lines....loved it... :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you for coming on that journey with us Maniparna :)
DeleteThe alliteration in this is really amazingly done. For me, it confers a sense of something akin to childlike innocence ... HURT.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Wendy...even though I am old inside i think Alice may well be older than me and yes lots of things hurt..but hopefully not forever
DeleteWhat a journey.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your visit.
Someday we hope for a sunny arrival and a Pina colada! Thank you too Gail
DeleteDo we need remember everything? It's attitude for me... if positive - I will remember good things only....the negative l will look at as the lessons to learn....but always smile, for sure :)
ReplyDeleteThat's very wise humbird thank you - maybe the next step in the process we hope :) back to you
DeleteSome knots need to be left as it is and used to keep our feet firm while others should be untangled lest they trap other beautiful things....
ReplyDeleteA lovely read!
That's a very balanced and lovely thought - thank you kindly Ira
DeleteWe are prayers pinned to walls..so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you thotpurge
DeleteThe last five lines are wonderfully written, Jae. I like the bound like flowers image very much. I remember the quote from Six Feet Under - Everything. Everywhere. Everyone. Ends. much like of the uninvited memories.
ReplyDeleteSometimes when soup is all there is to remember... we would rather not.
ReplyDeleteI used to also eat cold vegetable soup. There is a name for that too.
I think though that it is more like what ever is in the frig that's left...
Sometimes we can fall up with memories. The good ones.
Cheers. And thank you.
Memory soup is far better than gazpacho! not that I've tried that - just your common garden soup malfunction..cheers to well heated chicken noodle and good memories - thank you Jules
Delete