Leave me in my sweet dark corner
It's not quick enough
Groans Alice
Grinding mistletoe with her teeth
It spills out her mouth
Bitter and green
I know
Make it quicker
Jelly beans and apples bounce in our head
I hear them
Chink chink metal bed
The sheets bite
Pick and tear old wounds
Every nerve ending on fire
Impossible to change or heal
I roll over
All so much better
I think
Let's eat soup and glue
She squeals
Too wired to sit still
It will make pretty music
Like a bullet clattering down our skeleton
Look I can open it with one hand
As if we haven't been doing this for thirty years
Freckled bananas mashed in time
I give her the red ink
She writes our wish on a cheap hospital jotter
Giggles like it’s the best gift ever
I smile
Little fingers wrapped around the pen
Have we sunk to a new low yet
She asks politely
I wait for the powder to kick in
Many times little one
Many times
I think it’s time to leave
And presently too
We step over the rubbish
Lie hand in hand on the floor
Is the moon rising or falling
We play with her bows
Digital blue
Electric white
We can’t keep weaving in and out
It really is quite peculiar and odd
Well look at us
Don’t we have sobriety in the bag
We look at each other and laugh
She gives the nod
I drop
We bathe in flowers and red the night
Stuck in our sweet dark corner.
We bathe in flowers and red the night
ReplyDeleteStuck in our sweet dark corner
One may be bent on making some impact for the night. But one may be too engrossed in routines to take notice!
Hank
Yes those routines certainly can be absorbing for all the wrong reasons - thank you very much Hank
DeleteWho is ever really sober in this life?
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the laughter. Hugs.
Thanks for visiting my take on 'Holly'
Not sure if I'll do mistletoe. I might have to check out the wordle list. But I've been a tad busy.
Thank you Jules - we do indeed all have our own way of sweating things up...mistletoe was tough - hence Alice resorting to eating it! Maybe selective not lazy? I look forward to reading
DeleteBy sweating I mean sweeting which can adversely lead to sweats :~
DeleteFreckled bananas mashed in time... what a line!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much thotpurge :)
DeleteGot a laugh from the photo!
ReplyDeleteThere are times when I suspect that you live in a different universe to me!
Complex and intriguing, as always.
Thanks for the photo nod - it was hard not to include it in the words! I suspect we live in a different universe to the vast majority of the world..we always appreciate you visiting however - thank you J Cosmo
DeleteCould one reach another low.. The chemical reference is so stark here.. A world I don't want to see, and I see a parting of ways with Alice.. an exit from hospital while Alice stays.. The photo is really a great complement to your story.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bjorn - there are certainly better worlds to see and live in..perhaps Alice and I are preparing to detach...sadly this is home - years of wasted time in hospitals are hard to shake off..they stay in your psyche long past the doors are unlocked
Deleteoh, the pain must be quite bad, but hey, Alice is as tough as ..bullets.
ReplyDeleteP.S. the photo gave me a smile, but then i remembered i am also using one of these sunday to saturday little boxes for a daily cocktail of pills
That she is thank you ds..years of looking at those little boxes and suddenly it dawned...i wonder what other combinations we can make ;)
DeleteWhat the.... indeed! Your sweet dark corner certainly seems like quite the place to be.
ReplyDeleteVisit Keith's Ramblings!
Thank you Keith! It springs to mind several times a day...perhaps we need Rosey to come and add light to that corner..we needs some fun
DeleteOh, dear - to lie in sheets that bite would be very uncomfortable. One should have warm and cozy sheets this time of year! Soup and glue wouldn't be a very comforting meal either! Hope for better rest and food in the new day!
ReplyDeleteIt's all a bit ow-y thank you Mary but onwards and onwards...soft sheets, helped skin and edible meals..thank you kindly
DeleteWe bathe in flowers and red the night
ReplyDeleteStuck in our sweet dark corner.
I guess we all get stuck at some point in our lives.. as we await the beginning of a new day which blooms like a flower - we realize it was all in our head. Beautifully executed!
Lots of love,
Sanaa
PS: I mailed you :)
And what a beautiful way of putting it (as always) thank you very much Sanaa and will look forward to your email thank you :)
DeleteYou're most welcome Jae :D
Deletexx
WTF indeed. Poor Alice...she is impatient at times. Those ending lines are an amazing end to this painful piece. I think sometimes we just need to be 'Stuck in our sweet dark corner' until we can ride it out.
ReplyDeleteDonna@LivingFromHappiness
Thank you Donna - she certainly works more quickly than me...for better or worse...and yes as regards the waiting out..I hope we both find our snow boots and a fresh patch of snow to crunch through...in timely time..thank you kindly
DeleteHaha! I never put that particular W-T-F together before!
ReplyDelete"Have we sunk to a new low yet
She asks politely
I wait for the powder to kick in
Many times little one
Many times ..."
There is a newer narrative self-awareness in your poems lately that reminds me of the teetering back and forth an addict does just before kicking the habit forever. Sweet tastes sweeter for those last little whiles.
Neither did I until yesterday thank you Susan! And a perceptive comment which makes a whole lot of sense...let's hope for genuine sweetness soon..thank you very much
DeleteI havent even begun to read the poem yet, and your photo has cracked me up. WTF indeed. LOL. Susan's astute comment echoes my feelings - your emergence and strength in your recent poems, letting go of some stuff, and dreaming of better days. The "pretty music like a bullet clattering down our skeleton" is a powerful if disturbing image - your voice is so unique and I feel privileged to be reading you.....I especially am attuned to your ending - it is like sounding the depths, reading your work.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Sherry - and a privilege to have you read...perhaps those depths will become more consistently apparent when we are a little nearer the surface...I am glad however that there is an emergence...however long in the making and from whatever corners I created..I guess when you hit the bottom repeatedly the only way is north! Thank you xo
DeleteLeave me in my sweet dark corner
ReplyDeleteIt's not quick enough..
powerful...
Thank you very much Gazal
DeleteMy daughter just pointed that out to me the other day! ~That Wed. Thurs. Fri. on her pill box spelled WTF. :) I had never noticed that before. LOL. But it sure is hilarious. Leave it to a 13-year-old to notice such nuances.
ReplyDelete"Leave me in my sweet dark corner" ... My word, that sounds like bliss. For a few days, at least!
"Grinding mistletoe with her teeth
It spills out her mouth
Bitter and green" ... Ha. I think Alice and I feel the same way about Christmas. :)
"Impossible to change or heal" ... I love that you ended the line with the homophone "heal." This adds layering. ... Oh look, and then you went right into "I roll over." You're saying you feel like a dog at the hand of (maybe) a cruel master.
Again, your double meanings are brilliant: "Freckled bananas mashed in time" ... Since I just stuck "freckles" in my new blog name, I think this is about a girl who's "bananas" and has freckles (that's me! and maybe you?). Anyway, "in time" means that you're mashing the bananas along with the beat of the music you're making/listening to. But also, maybe you're mashing some time in with your bananas. I love doing this in poetry ... just making up crazy stuff that couldn't possibly happen in "real life." But in a poem, you can toss in a handful of time (whatever that is) while you're baking banana bread. Maybe this means you'd like more time ... you feel like you're running out of it. But there are so many things you'd still like to do! It's just our work that makes us so exhausted that we feel like we're too worn out to reclaim what's left of our lives. I feel way older than I am simply because I work my body so hard. My knees are all shot to hell, as is my back.
I love the way this sounds; such a pleasure to read aloud:
"I give her the red ink
She writes our wish on a cheap hospital jotter"
"We play with her bows" ... Again, with that brilliant homophone application! She's wearing hair bows, but she also knows how to bow/curtsy ... but it's like performing in a play.
"Well look at us
Don’t we have sobriety in the bag" ... Ha! Love this. :)
Oh my gosh, this is AMAZING:
"We bathe in flowers and red the night
Stuck in our sweet dark corner."
Thank you so much for your analysis Shawna - I feel I should deposit five cents in your box for helping explain...yep..definitely bananas and definitely feel like time is running out. I suppose my 'work' is not of the honourable kind and there in lies the grit in the grazed knees..but being bananas affords you a certain kind of freedom in a way - there are very few standards to conform to...I like that we both stumbled on WTF..wordy wit is good to start young..I am at the mercy of various hands who keep me hanging on that leash thinking there's a reward at the end...I guess forty + years and I know there ain't going to be one..thank you for breaking this down for me!
Delete"being bananas affords you a certain kind of freedom in a way" ... So true!
DeleteWe are also crackers and nuts :~
DeleteA wonderful piece! You did so much with the words this week, as you always do...my creative juices have taken leave...I hope it is not like the birds that migrate for the winter, and will return next week....snow sparkles on the grround...i think I like grey days....xoxoxoxoxohugs
ReplyDeleteAn yet such a beautiful and sparkly comment - I hope you feel creativity creeping back maybe she will ride in on a brisk rain cloud...thank you most wonderfully Annell xo
Delete"grinding mistletoe with her teeth" and "Freckled bananas mashed in time"---you have such an ability to create rich imagery that plays so powerfully on the reader's senses!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much C.C. Thank heavens I only look at my fruit and rarely consume it ;)
DeleteOh no...you are missing out one of the great joys of life...fruit...although mind you when you are slurping a mango or sweet yellow peaches you need to be in a pool in the bush with a cold beer in a hanging basket just in reach over your head. This is the best way to enjoy fruit, or anything at all really.:)I' ve been absent from poetry world lately because I am away in the bush contemplating olive trees, stinger wasps,noisy frogs and a big big sky but will be back to poetry soon .It has been so hot here the pattern on the carpet has melted. I love it!!!!
DeleteThat does sound heavenly thank you Rallentanda - bitter apples in a cold UK flat don't scream joy! melting carpets and big big sky sounds quite poetic..thank you for flying in and seeing us..and enjoy the rest of your bush time
DeleteThe more I read your poetry the more I feel like, at times, you write about an imaginary fellow-friend. Like the conversation is really just with the poet of the poem, and no one else. This is what makes each poem so interesting... it's a rambling around of conversations that touch on ideas of what's real, and what's not.
ReplyDeleteI think in a nutshell it is exactly so - thank you for keeping reading and cracking that shell open Matthew
Deleteold scars of love lost, are easily opened, if you let it; luv the way Alice is eating the mistletoe that once her alter ego would have been kissed under
ReplyDeleteWishing you many many creative hours in 2016
much love...
That's a nice interpretation thank you Gillena ..i can only vaguely remember such optimism ;) wishing much creativity in return
Delete"Well look at us
ReplyDeleteDon’t we have sobriety in the bag
We look at each other and laugh"
Oh, I laughed, too!
Then we are in good company - thank you very much Mama Zen
DeleteI did it...
ReplyDeletehttps://juleslongerstrandsofgems.wordpress.com/2016/01/10/mistletoe-gig-word-1-10-s/
Yay well done I shall enjoy reading in the morning! :)
DeleteTruly it does sound as if you are finding your own on your own - bananas mashed in time...sanity/sobriety do take time and work. I think it's beginning to make its way. Here's to delicious comforting soup and soft warm sheets -
ReplyDeleteMany of our foremothers believed that chicken soup was the glue that held healing in the making and giving. And freckled bananas always make the best bread. We all seek a bit of sweetness to lighten our dark corners. Now if we could only get all that starch out of those incredibly stiff sheets.
DeleteElizabeth
PS...Never saw the WTF on my pill box. And to think I got it from my Mother, lol...
Thank you Toni - it does take work...question is are we doing it for ourselves or others i guess..maybe we find a version of sanity/sobriety that is palatable for us - wouldn't want to be too normal..thank you kindly..
DeleteThank you also Elizabeth...yes chicken soup for the soul..and sweet not stark/ch sounds good..mothers can pass on gifts we only discover later on i suppose...mind you i wonder if i would be guzzling so much sweet sweet if i had a chicken soup making kind of mother
still laughing at the pill box...it makes you wonder...all those little candies to just make you feel better...a little of this and that will make you feel whole...does one ever feel whole?
ReplyDeleteNot via pills i would hazard a guess thank you very much Truedessa..they fill the gaps but don't make up for the holes or even make you feel better after a while
Deleteenjoyable romp through the mind of Alice.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much..i think Alice maybe the guest in J's mind..but can never be sure
DeleteYou always write so beautifully! I like the sweet corner you take shelter in.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Rosemary...sometimes it is sweet..before the bitter aftertaste ;)
Deletethis was a combo of art and medicine for me. I could see the art supplies and the medications all mixed together to form what is deemed sweet by your poem. interesting muse Jae. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for seeing the two elements James - somedays it tips more towards one than the other...so not the easiest of muses..but we will keep her for a while longer ;)
DeleteAh, you're two strong girls with Alice 'asking politely about new low'....the photo at the beginning made me smile...time really run too fast so every day just sees us bowing...what makes us to prioritize, and I like your humor, and red color prevail! So masterful wording! and optimism too! xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you very much humbird..lie am glad we have some good points..time certainly goes fast even when it isn't all that cheerful xo
DeleteI agree with Susan. There is a teetering quality to your writing that does seem, to me, to be escalating. Hm-m-m-m - interesting - something's gonna give. And soon, I think.
ReplyDeleteThank you Wendy - I do so hope..something definitely has to give..let's hope the landing is smooth
DeleteWonderful piece.
ReplyDeleteLoved these lines:
"We bathe in flowers and red the night
Stuck in our sweet dark corner."
Thank you very much Daneshwari
Deletehello Jae Rose
ReplyDeleteyou write nicely
keep it
good luck
form - nuwan in imagtalks.blogspot.com