Triumph

It is a small triumph

That we wake up every day

See the clouds in the sky

Smell the freshly cut grass

Fill our stomachs with sugar

And treats

Leave enough room

For a freshly brewed tea

In our finest china cups

She smiles in glee

Perhaps it is just enough

To be

To breathe

To watch the clouds

To not be in pain 

It is a fine line 

Between triumph 

And distaster 

We have been teetering on it

For many years

The disasters stain our skin

Always there

Impossible to wash away

Or hide

Would we be without them

I ponder 

They mark out our time

Our life 

The dark years

Not the dark days

Which pepper our life now

We hold hands

And electricity flows through

Our veins 

For this single moment in time

We feel triumphant 

And that is good for me

And her.

The Humming-Bird

The humming-bird

Flies outside our window

We twist our head to look

We like how it bobs and nods

Eager to seek out the nectar 

The glass melts away

And for one moment 

We fly with it 

Darting and whizzing

Keen to catch 

Our shadow

We listen for the ring

Of the humming-bird's beak

It is clear

Like rain on a tin roof

We catch it

Remember it like a dream

Our flight is

Printed in our mind

Small spurts of energy

On grey days 

We smile and nod

At the blue and green feathers

We are glad the humming-bird

Visited us today

Its beauty and lightness

Filled our mind

Made us hope 

And fly

Just like magic.

Muscle Memory

When we were young

We were light on our feet

We could spin in circles

Bright as a Catherine Wheel

Without tripping 

Or falling

I spent a lot of time

Standing on my head

I liked to see the room

From a different view

She giggles

It's magic isn't it

Pretending 

Having adventures

That only we remember 

I wonder how she feels

To be stuck in her body

Small and compact

Quite well indeed

She replies 

With a wink and a smile

My body has changed

It no longer remembers

Jumping and playing

It is heavy

Like old 

Sodden logs

Hard to move

Not springy any more

I'm sure I could make it remember

How it once moved

How I once danced

And turned tumbles

It's all just muscle memory

But my biggest muscle

My brain 

Is like a brake pedal

It stops me moving

Having fun

She takes my hand

Waves it in the air

See you still can be free

She sings the tune 

That is in her head

I like that she is happy

Maybe today I will sing with her

And we will dance

Until we are tired

And fall into bed

Content with the day

And the lives 

We have lived

In our bodies. 

Survivor

We are kneeling 

In the light 

Of our small recovery 

The backside of the pillow

Is warm

Where our hands 

Have been knotted

In prayers 

And proverbs 

Glorious words

Which soothe us

Make us laugh and weep

Surviving is a thin line

One on which we have 

Waited for many years

Perhaps today will be better

Tomorrow 

Even more so

She smiles

And her teeth shine 

Like milky stars

In the moon lit sky

We are both survivors

I say in a whisper

We have found our own way

In the world

Learnt from our adventures 

And falls 

Now we are near the end

Of the puzzle 

Near to rest

And glorious dreaming.

Tea

Shall we take tea

She asks

Eyes shining like

The bluest glass marble

That sounds just right 

I say

Stretching my arms

She claps her hands in glee

I fill the kettle

Put it on the stove

We like to hear the

Water bubble and boil

And of course the whistle

Like a steam train

We will use our best plates

And silver knives and forks

There will be hot toast

And melting butter

Plenty of jam and honey

Cakes to follow

And maybe strawberries 

And cream 

We will taste every morsel

Ponder over the sweetness

And the earthy sips of tea

Her legs jiggle under the table

She is happy 

And that makes me happy too

We would like to invite you to tea

To share in the happiness

All you have to do is close 

Your eyes

And pull up a chair

So very easy

Like make believe

We giggle

Licking the sugar

From our lips. 

Guy

When I was young 

And wild

I did not hesitate 

About jumping in the car

With that guy

The one with 

Long hair

And a smashed in face

We muttered and pretended

To be lovers 

He said 

I thought you would save me

I replied

You have to save yourself 

I slammed on the breaks

Kicked him out

Not in fury

And losing him

Did not make me crumble

I had the front

Of mother

Cool and calculating

So here I am now

With Alice

The car has gone

There are no more guys

We are happy about that

She whispers

They only bring trouble

And loss 

I am glad that 

I did run away though

It made a bad story

A little more exciting 

Moveable

Now we are static

Forever eating jam and tea 

I look in her eyes

They are blue

Blue as the sea

We miss and pine for

Only a short stop away

Waiting for us when we are ready

To go there again. 

Laugh

The last time we laughed

We were by the sea

Watching the boats

Bob up and down 

On the water

Feeling the salty wind

Kiss our cheeks

And of course

There was vanilla ice cream

She giggles

We ate it on a bench

Happy to be together 

To have each others

Hand to hold

To feel safe

Loved

And happy 

The day by the sea

Is now a picture

A memory

One that we treasure 

And hold

One that we would 

Never like to lose

The sea moved 

And we moved with it

Like taking a breath

Or waking from sleep

Now we are back in the room

Awake but a little lost

We have shiny beads

And a silver ring

It reminds us 

Of good days 

It reminds us

That we are loved

That we are not alone 

And there is a bigger world

If we only venture 

Outside the room

Alice sighs

Glad for once

That I understand 

The meaning of adventure

That perhaps we will laugh again. 

Psalm

We offer up our prayers

As we awake

They keep trouble 

From the door

Like grass

In the wilderness

The letters sway and weep

And yet we do not

Wish to cry

We hold the bread 

On our tongue

Close our eyes

And wait for an answer

It will come she whispers

Always the one to believe 

No longer are our withered bones

Stretched upon the hearth

We no longer lie on the floor

We sit on the chairs

Or sleep in the bed

Our life is not

Beyond reproach 

But our prayers 

Will make it better

We light a candle

Sit on the wooden pews

How many times have

We walked here

So many 

That we no longer need to think

This is our place of worship 

A quiet place 

A cool flush upon our forehead

We feel calm

At peace 

Another hopeful day to come.

Happily Ever After

We will live 

Happily ever after

She asks

Chewing on a crumpet

And jam

I place my teacup on the table

Think before I answer

Yes Little Cricket

I think we will

If we try very hard

She claps her hands

In glee

We really do enjoy 

Being together

It makes everything

Around us 

Glitter like gold

It makes 

Time fly

And dreams linger

It makes all things good

She takes a last bite

Wipes the butter

From her lips

I love her more

Than life itself

I am your life she declares

And I am yours

I reply

The sun gently rises

Slips in through 

The curtains

Today we will think 

And play

Rest our heads on 

Each others shoulders

We will feel peaceful

Happy 

And full.