May Day

Your hair grew as quick as grass
In the grinding light of day
They chopped it off 
With the dandelion heads
But time decided to stay

I gathered the dust
And swallowed you whole
Your blood became my blood
Acrid brittle foul

I have turned the radio off
Kept the distress call to mute
There is no flare or flourish 
That will ever reach you

You can burst and brag and boil
Deploy the same dramatic woe
Just remember if anyone listens 
They will never love you

I keep myself in quarantine
Breath deep and quiet and blue
My new day is in keeping safe
Safe from me 
And you

My hair will grow as quick as grass
In the grinding light of day
They can chop it off 
With the dandelion heads
But I decide to stay.

Separation

The rain broke the air
Words poured down unspoken
Our messages will not connect
Letters scatter down the wire
Birds released  
Branches broken 
Glue in skin and feather
The white cross marks you
You did not leave
The dream illuminates 
Sun in one door
Rain out the other
I chew sugar in my gums 
To make a different pain 
It’s too early for the bad dog
The black mark
Please wait here
We are having fun with chemicals
Rearranging cells like cancer
Letting the beast through the door
The feather plots a perfect flight
Feverfew and sage 
Channelled underground
We really should discuss this separation
From what is real and not
You make beads
Strings of time and numbers
I lost count
Stumbled cackled cheated  
We really should discuss this separation 
From what is real and not
I would like to know
What will become
Will we end or stop

There are stolen pennies everywhere
Rolling down the hill
Quiet as a kiss
Quiet as a few tears
Which hold us together but not.

Science

The silver chimney pot reaches up
Like a stitch
I hold the broken tooth in my pocket
Steal the milk for her medicine
Mix it on the floor

Dying really is a science

The mix sinks through my fingers
Viscous vicious vile
As the light goes 
As she goes
We guzzle it  
We really are adept at swallowing the inedible

There is no one left to come, silly
I have coloured this picture a thousand times

I know

The solution was in a clear plastic bag
I saw the map and everything
But she wouldn’t let me steal it

There is violence in the bricks
It comes through the wires with no invitation

I live the flowers 

Take a picture
Write a list 
Mix it on the floor

We save lives here
Well, you didn't save mine

Dying really is a science.

First

Twice you stole my bones 
Wrapped them in paper
Tied a string 
Cast them out

Smiling

I am in the open
Brushing up the mess

You are safe
You always were

You made it clear
That you were first

I watch with no words
As your hard jaw  
Chews me up

You don’t care what you grind
As long as you come first

Lemon showers and candy drops
I wipe the dirt off with a cloth

sugar candy dust

I keep my bones safe
Limbs beyond repair

spit polish rub

The papers burn at four am
Listen in my sleep
They gather in the yard
I keep still as water rocking in our boat

Cast no shadow feel no weight
Pull the sharp teeth
That sunk into the flesh of us 
Left outside to rot

Morning comes a bridge
Between what is real and not
We sway 

dreaming sleeping ache

I wrap you up in paper 
Tie a string of words
Cast you out

I burnt everything for you

Smiling

Lemon showers and candy drops
I wipe the dirt off with a cloth.

Lie

They are taking out your things
A green suitcase 
Your bones
Dust inside
Except you are alive

I stand
On top of the building where they once were
Sugar liquor smoke 

They stand you next to the clothes airer
A small brown box
A shopping bag

I try not to hear the knock on the door
I try not to see the blue plastic gloves

Leaving is all about tricking the mind you see

I look over the stone wall
Dream
Silence
Empty
Free

Wrap you up in bones
Keep the weather out
Change my skin
Keep the weather out

walk trip smile skip

Static picture rolling 
Shiny on the front
Inanimate behind

The wild garlic smells 
Curls around the stone
An impassioned kiss

I drag you under the sun
Lick ice creams guzzle cherry pop
Try to forget the perversion 
Buried remembered marked in a plot

I look over the stone wall
Dream
Silence
Empty
Free

You sleep in my jewels
I rattle in your bones
It is not a simple bed
In which we lie

Knock four times and you will know that it is me.

New

Our lady is covered in gravel again
Broken mirror
Under purple cloth
She swears she kept the moon 
Locked up
We chant in the wooden seats
Please end 
In our song
A wish to stay 
Limbo is less scary 
At the edge of the pavement
She waits
Spiders blood and bones
The morning soaks into our shoes
Keep moving
I say without turning 
There is no time and all of time
For the brief relief of sorry
Across the road she cuts his hair
It tumbles to the floor 
Like words on paper 
Maybe he cried
We don’t look
We carry on
It doesn’t pay to feel the world too deeply
Steps and sweat grind down like fine porcelain
I'm sorry swallowed up
Our wrists touch briefly
My filth wiped on hers
The pace 
The click clack of steps neatly, eternally together
Spin more brightly than the light of any moon
It’s ok 
The words travel like gentle petals
Soft forgiving bright
I hold her as the dark comes
Brace ourselves against another gaudy night
What is left of the moon shines on the purple tree
Like our lady she whispers
Yes, just like our lady I say stroking her golden hair
For a moment we share a dream
Grinding petals and light over
Spiders blood and bones
In that dream 
A bowl of flowers is our renaissance. 

Hold

She once was a twig
Explosively beautiful

They kept her in the back yard
Failed to wonder why she never grew

There is always one child
Left behind in the house

snap crack weight 

She learnt to play
Dead wood
On the carpet 
In the kitchen
Inside the cupboard 
On the stairs

She made her limbs listless
Hard she remembers
They were so full

pop bang ready to explode

She never knew
Did she build herself horrible
Or was she horribly built

You have to love beautiful all the way through

They all left the house
Of course
The plan was never to stay
To see their story through

There is a blanket of petals around her
She throws away the buds 
Tips her petals out
Beautifully covered in silk

She bought a twig
It did flower

Sometimes the answer is wait

There is always one child
Left behind in the house

One day she is loved
The next
Well, the next goes on forever

Things lost can never be recovered

She watches and waits
Carefully wishing life
Not the mood that grew inside her 

She smiles
This little girl is beauty
She is in my back garden
And is something I can hold.

Stream

I am waiting out my apocalypse here
It’s ok
As long as there is a TV in the empty room

Save our youth

The saviours walk past 
They don’t need to knock on the door to know that we are lost

The yellow brick road is stuck on my shoe

Yellows crush nicely

High or low
I can’t decide
You already know, silly
Yes
I guess I do
I zip the jacket
Find the trail through the floor boards

She watches me
Smoothes out the pleats on her dress
Only I see the holes
The barrier between us
Careful calculation every move, shh

She filters the details
Like the TV
What I remember and not

Remember when you crushed us up and stirred us all in chocolate milk

That was fun

Her feet swing on the kitchen unit
This fucking jacket zips me up

She is powerful as diamonds 
Tougher than the Red Queen
Funny I think 
I would have lost my head whichever one I chose

Yellow shines the sun
Heats the water until it boils
A waterfall 
A stomach peeling on the sheets
A face flushed down the sink

I like tripping standing up
I can read the wall for hours
Everything you need is suspended in the cracks and grout

That’s what she says
As she straps the jacket tighter

The TV runs an endless stream
She watches me watching it
Except I am not

I woke up

I am waiting out my apocalypse here
It’s ok
One day I will get back my empty room.

Blind

The blind cleaner is coming
Time to put aside all the toys
And the games
We clatter and crumble in silence
Wait for the steps
The vile taste of rust he leaves in our mouth

Let's flush some chemicals through the tubes
A tea party she proclaims
Dusting down her frock
We can forget him
Until the next time

That always comes
Steady as love
But not

A sugar crust coating of vomit blood tears 

The sky bends and the birds eat us
We are decomposing 
But still breathing I think

I look at her apron
It never was white
She was blue
All the way through

I have a dust headache she complains 
Suck it through a straw I say 
And we look at each other and smile
Liquorice torpedoes she squeals

crunch chew spit

Full speed ahead

I could never get rid of you
Not really 
Even though there is no colour in the sky 
No room for us in the pale room of devotion

It is a gaunt love

misguided
misappropriated
misunderstood

But there is nothing else left to love
Not since the cleaner robbed me blind.