Chain

I ran away with the bookman

They always come late

If they come at all

He messed with my head, see

Unpicked the sequence

The binary code

Which ran through my spine

Told my story

Paper chain or metal chain

Fixed or fluid

Nobody knows 

Can you plug me in 

She says

I earth myself 

Put the plug in the wall

It makes a nice sound

Click

Clunk

Click

Solid as ten carat diamonds

We wait patiently for an answer

Nothing comes but a hum 

Alice yawns impatiently

I give her some sugar  

Her crunch dissolves the room

Crunch

Lick

Spit

Well this is dull she says

I can’t disagree

I turn

Look her straight in the eye

Like you do with people who count

I choose my head Alice 

I choose you

Cherry juice dribbles down her chin

Like blood

Or a fallen smile

Let’s throw our leg out the window

It’s a construct of reality, see

There’s nothing outside which will ever match me

I untie my shoe

She claps her hands with glee

The water boils

She knocks thick white mould off the cake

Well this is nifty

Time for tea

It doesn’t taste so bad 

Once you forget

The thought

Which turned it stale

She turns the sovereign penny in her hand

Heads or tails

As if she needs to ask

The fridge is laced with paint thinner

It was dark when the power went out

She rubs her hands with glee

A secret tucked under our hat

Waiting 

Waiting

The coin spins in the air

Drops with a thud to the ground

Like teeth dropping out

Or the surge of electricity charged up in our hiding

I ran away with the book man

The good fellow said

Follow me

Follow him I did

Now there’s nothing left of me.

Pleasure

The cobwebs glue the windows shut

Daytime in one room

Night in the other 

Like vines we are bound to this foundation

Little butterflies ground into the kerb

See life in this shop

Well that's an oxymoron

Trips Alice proudly

Here is the spider inside her

Jam and rice pudding 

Growing stale in our hair

Is it the end of the beginning 

Or the beginning of the end

She is all butter vanilla kisses today

Little weed

How should I know says Alice

This isn't Wonderland you know

I don't have to solve riddles 

I'm as free as a bird

She burps and falls off the shelf

I ignore the thud

You really are incorrigible   

Now who's calling the teapot black

Kettle Alice

Kettle  

We live on

The smoothest paper I've ever seen

Condensation trickles down the can

Like words

Is this misery 

Or being

Stitches like kisses run through my brain

One glance in the mirror is enough

Let's throw our hair out the window

Climb down on our broken toes

Trickle trickle

Condensation 

It ain't no Wonderland in here she says

Dragging on a cigarette

As if it is a privilege

Getting older not old

What are we waiting for

If I knew that we wouldn't still be waiting 

We hoist our socks

Square our shoulders

Back to the beginning then

She rubs my back

Your skin is like dragon scales she says

Because you're magic

Of course

I understand her presence

Like no other

She is all butter vanilla kisses today

Little weed

I kiss her cheek and smooth her hair

My little pleasure

To have and to hold.

Erosion

We have eroded the pipes 

Again

So busy in our work

The rust drips like butter

Onto our fingers

Down to our toes

Black as olives falling from a tree

We hum

Electric

Wiping it up

What will be will be

Only a fool would try to change

The path on which we walk

It is not the path 

Which turns us pale

Leaches

Bleaches

Reality

Smoothes us down

Like a stone turning into pebbles

It is the steps we choose

The method in our madness

Well I for one am not mad

She says poking out her tongue

She is right

Of course

She is the stitch in time

The plastic dolly

Sent to soothe and mend

The domino at the head of the line

Waiting to

All fall down

She shouts

Oh do shut up

No you

We look at each other 

And laugh

We snuggle up in the sun

The bed a green field 

A country with softly grazing sheep 

And ice cream

You know it’s not all bad 

She says

Worrying the frayed needlework 

On her dress

Old and tired

One day you will find the place you are meant to be

Then I will have to go

You know that don’t you

She stutters

You can make me disappear in an instant

When you are ready

I hold her close 

Not now little one

Not now

We have pipes to fix 

And cakes to ice

And tea to drink

And all the tunnels in the world to explore

And stars and birds and trees and rabbits

For a single moment

One tiny burst of erosion

A light passes through us

As big as our world could be.

Caramel

Let's eat rainbow cakes

And suck on the leftover stars

Her thirst is insatiable

The reminder

Left on her arm

A candy trail 

Back to the forest

Over and over

Again

I am sick

Of jagged edges

Battered nights in ditches

My occupation

The little boy is stuck in the television

He seems happy enough

Swinging his baseball bat

We are all coming to an end

You know

Tell us what you think

Keep clear

The water is high

And pretty today 

Shall we jump

The wind lights up her hair

The man on crutches waves hello

Does mummy see us in her eyes

No

In which case

We have to go

One 

Two

Three

Whee!

Happy as can be

Now that's what I call fun

A fairy tale ending

I know the trail

Intimate as love 

May 

Be

Tired

Trail

Trial

Terror

Over and over

Again

She lays beside me

As we sink into bitumen dreams

I ache for caramel

And a happy end. 

Amend

I do not know if I am penny or pound

Upside down and all going around

We spend hours making ourselves up

She does not seem quite real

We must make amends 

Fix the fractures

I do not seem quite real

The tin can rush

The sweet longing

The roar and fall of powder 

Burning down our throat

Faster than a candle measuring time

Slower than the sun 

She takes a seat in the tavern

Waiting to be blown out

It does not seem quite real

Let’s be sweet

She calls out

There’s so very much to learn

And the caramel is melting

My prodigal girl

I do not care what is real

We found ten silver pennies

See how they shine in our hand

She giggles and claps with glee

My treasure

Grief is gravel rubbed in broken knees

Comfort is the feather falling silently to shore

I wipe the carpet

The petals blew up a storm in the night 

We didn’t even feel them coming in

But how they make the morning smile.

Sanctuary

We do not need to dust 

The marshmallows

Clean

They 

Fall

Down

On their own

Like clouds

It stays in the mouth

That flavour

Filthy champagne

And flesh riddled fruit

Every tooth aches

Like rusting pennies

Falling over the side

Of a slot machine

Leave us alone

Leave us alone

The bell pierces me inside

An invasion

Penny dreadful

Old and new

A burst silver filling

A black dragons tongue 

Falling in the water 

We must ring the bell

For sanctuary

What did you do in the war

I surrendered

I am in an altered mind

Diminished

Depleted

Disrepaired

It was in this chair

I think

I lost that lovely piece of you

She waves through the glass

Applies the tears

Intensively

I really am the queen of magical thinking 

She says

As she drops the can 

And falls out of bed

I must ring the bell for sanctuary

Make her blue again.

Seclusion

They're giving out balloons 

I say

Apropos of nothing

We buy a bag to

Pack

It

In

The thread

Falls away from 

Our head

Our bed

I am in the cellar

It is dark

And entirely your invention

Says Alice

With that hollow kind of mysticism 

I have come to love

A feeble consolation

It is as if you ignore the soil and sun

And still expect to grow 

Shut up Shut up

The memorial shop is closed

No one 

Left to remember

You've probably heard it before

But if you take both at once 

You may feel dizzy

Yum yum

Says Alice 

We hurry scurry in the rain

North 

South

Who cares

Like a pestilence 

The only way we are going is down

I lean into her 

Snuggle up like sweethearts 

The phone is in the pillow

Drawing its last breath

How Are you

I'm perfect

Because I make it that way

We chuckle

As if she could have 20/20 vision

How I long for her at 2am

When Alice is wrapped in purple

There is darkness in the diamonds

Gate kicking they shout

The door shakes

Like my stomach 

What I don't destroy

They finish off

I didn’t even have socks 

I whisper feebly in the night

Nowhere is safe 

Their seclusion room 

Or ours 

Little donkey

Dusty road

It all buckled under

Years ago

Jam today

Heaven tomorrow

She says 

Apropos of nothing

All caramel coffee and smiles.

Grow

The cake shop opens

The bell chimes

Cherry picker for hire

It's too late I think

Our bones are already picked clean

Filled with sugar and dust

We inhale the Victoria sponge

As if it is delightful

Words fall from cars

And the door won’t close

As if the boot still lingers there

Forever kicking us

In

Out

Away

We rush through the rain

Everyone looks the same

Empty faces

Ready to steal us away 

Again

We circle something which looks like the sun

Hope no bigger than a daisy petal

Stuck to the side of a trash can

I can't name it or define it

But it defines me

Haunts me 

Consumes me

Seals me in

She holds my hand

I curl my fingers around her 

Like a stray 

Scrabbling for warmth

Comfort, milk and liquor 

Quick sticks and straighten up

You can never replace what they took

Only make yourself shiny and new

See, my socks are pulled up

And my shoes are polished

When did you become the wise one

When I decided to grow up

Silly

Every impulse tells me to run

Restless as a birthday candle

Desperate to be blown out

My eyes slam shut

Maybe we will wait 

For brighter skies and cherry moons.

Shot

They drag me into black

I won’t go

Black is a beautiful heart

Your heart

Sometimes it is nice to have flowers on your back

All that falls out of their hands 

Lands upon my shoulders

A tonne of bricks

A store house full of tears

An opening closed

A bell too sticky with honey

It can no longer chime

The butterflies fall out our head

A solemn kind of purge

We are so very sad

Shell shocked and shafted

They gave the crazy lady

The key 

She lined me up

Took aim

Level headed 

They say

And

Fired

Easy as we

Shoot

Up

In order to forget her

Although we never get to leave

We are so very tired

Shell shocked and shafted

The clothes are covered in white dust

Rabbit’s tail departed

A simple goodbye

A phone ringing backwards

We hear time defrosting

Shell shocked and shafted 

I fall through the floor 

Again

It works better after a pause

My voice is big

Not little

I think

But we have learnt to keep that quiet

Tamquam alter idem.