Function

Why don't people like us

To keep two steps away from our dysfunction

She thinks

So everybody is a step away from our dysfunction

Or theirs 

I reply

Dismantle

Deteriorate

Decompensate 

We hope 

We hope

Something good will happen 

On recreational road 

I see Birdman

Head down

Peaceful 

The sun whispers through the brave

And the lost

You fold your shirts

Easier to pack

In a rush

She chews 

What a tedious waste

I reflect in the place of concrete

And stopping

I would like bricks not sticking plasters

A trowel and cement to rebuild

If I am not permanent

Maybe the dysfunction is

It doesn't even have a name anymore

Not even yours

Nameless

But not shameless 

No 

Never shameless 

My bones shiver

Shivered bones 

Me love

Me ugly

Me pretty

You are not getting better are you

Can I eat your apple

And deal with the devil she says

Admission

Infiltration

Titration

She takes a big breath

I suppose we have to accept that nothing lasts forever

Not me

You

Or the glue that binds us together

Maybe you will be happier 

When we are apart

Maybe 

But don’t go just yet

There are sugar cubes and marshmallows

And a big sinking sun.

Float

Let’s take pictures of the stars

She says rolling on her tummy

We are on the kitchen floor 

Again

Thinking of slicing and dicing

And all things nicing

She giggles

I wonder how many times I will have to play today

Locked in some kind of sugar cream hell

All misery and damnation 

I’m tired Alice

Well I was only saying we should have more fun

How can we ever be happy 

Hugging the linoleum floor

It’s the only thing left that will touch us

I reach for her hand

It disappears like sunshine

Lost behind rivers and hills

Casting a shadow over what we left 

On the warmth of the roadside

The girls make their nests

Safe warm and protected

High up on the asphalt roofs

She reads out loud

So loud

I hold my ears

You never think you're going to hurt your brain

I do that little scream

Silently

Like a song tucked in an envelope

Waiting to sing

The powder is bouncing back

Unlike us

She scowls

Crash

Bang

Slam the door down

I don't really care

Look at me

I fucking exist

We should never have set up camp here Alice

We should have kept walking

Past the fire and the flags

The game has become work

Inescapable

A kayak 

Drifting coatless in the storm

Let's take pictures of the stars 

You can make hot chocolate and marshmallows

And wipe my nose when I get all sticky

Silly bee

So much trouble

For nothing at all

I roll on my tummy 

Funny 

I think

Sound and tears float on linoleum floors.

Stuck

I had a beautiful dream

When I woke up

You were here

I was there

It stayed in my mouth

Like that metallic taste

But not bad

It was a good memory Alice

A polished stone

Buried in the wreckage

Like turning back time

To when our skin was clean

She swings her legs 

Trying to remember

You weren’t there then

She sucks her lollipop

Waits for the correction

Well you were

But you didn’t have a name

She smiles

Now I am Alice

The can freezes to the bed

Toxins

Formulas

Solutions

We really are quite stuck

Like sticky fingers in a pocket

It gentles them

It gentles us

I hold on tightly to the can

Like I hold onto her I suppose

A connection 

A reason

A strange kind of union

I always wish for more

The optimal inhalation 

I am the pollen on the bees nose

The acid in your blood 

I make you sneeze

Achoo

Achoo

Achoo

She giggles

The flies keep coming

You can clean the shelves with these

You've cleaned the shelves of these

Mould

Melt

Make

Stains on my jacket

Lies in my hair

How very silly hopping in our socks

As if you’d hide me there

I dismantle the potion nine times

The birds fly in the letterbox

A message just for me

On the beat of their wings

And in the fine silk of their feathers 

In a world of locked doors

The girl who holds the key is key

What would happen if we became unstuck

This

Everything

Nothing

The bits in between we try to lose

How can the sun shine brighter at night 

I wonder why they couldn’t see me

They didn’t want to know the truth

Silly

Do you.

Sum

What day is it Alice

Today is Saturday

Tomorrow is Sunday

She says proudly

Hoisting up her fresh white socks

Is there a difference

Well I've heard that Sundays are pretty

You can wear a special dress they say

What exactly are we doing on the floor

Misappropriating time

Does that mean we are inappropriate 

Sometimes 

Yes

She chews it over

Thick as sugar

Gradually

Then suddenly

Perhaps we are the sun of our parts

Don’t you mean sum

No silly

We are made up of angles and light

Tilted bruises and staggered smiles

Heart

Legs

Soul

That’s the spirit

Why do you stay

Don’t you ever feel like running 

She chews her finger nails 

Her hand curled up in a tiny fist

Do you think I have a choice

The door is open

The breeze cracks my face

She claps her hands

The butterfly came in through the door

All purple and blue and busy

I can see bugs everywhere

In my syrup 

In my hair

The clothes peg keeps the wind away

Like they pegged up teddy and me

I park them in the suburbs 

Dig a hole

Bury the hamper

Slip off the gloves

Wipe the canvas clean

Walk away

It’s never clean silly

And you never walk away

You are stuck stuck sticky

Like a bug on bug paper

You don’t want to let them go

How pathetic I feel

Stuck in the headlights

Leading this little girl astray

Every instinct knows I am wrong 

But they are the sum of my parts

What day is it Alice

Today is Saturday

Tomorrow is Sunday

I hold her hand whilst I am still awake

I’ve heard it can be pretty

I say.

Bored

Sorrow is 

Planted deep in our soul

Like bones

Boring

Dark

Lonely

I could only skip on one leg too

Round the bend and back again

My heart is beating five hundred now

Five hundred what

You have to be specific

Rabbits

Crickets

Kittens

The labels have to be the right way around

Silly

Same on paper

Same on towels

Do be quiet Alice

Just for a minute

I want to hear the

Raindrops falling

I see her shoe

Black

Shiny 

Tiny

High up in the clouds

Super speed is here

She squeals

Where

Here 

There 

Everywhere

You have to be specific

She pokes out her tongue

Don't just dream it do it

There is a blanket by the bridge

Well I guess someone was

Specific

She looks at me 

Accusingly 

One two three

How many times do I have to sing it

Boring 

Dark

Lonely

I don't want to die Alice

I want to learn how to be

The rain sings like falling blades

If only I could unpick the stitches of time

Find the power 

What power

You have to be specific

The power to move on

The power to move away

She looks at me

Unsure of what to say.

Capacity

The glue is stuck in our tummy

Thirteen point five percent 

Truth 

Proof 

Whatever

This is the sound of our capacity declining 

It always pays to invest in a quality adhesive

She says 

Tongue lolling on the bathroom floor

Fingers prancing 

Catching dust 

Little blind dolly

Whisper in my ear please

All will be safe 

All will be well

They hunted that one out of us too

Tap their fingers impatiently

Waiting for our resurrection

We are empty as wraiths

Parked up in sorrow 

Dunked like witches 

Shatter

Scatter

Pitter patter

Awake or alive

No matter

We do not try hard enough

hard

bad

stubborn

useless

spoiled

angry

bitter

violent

wrathful

not ready

(For what I wonder)

We sit 

Smile

Take them home

Swallow

Only words after all

Another one is nothing

It always pays to plant the posts of a house deeply

She says

Like labels branded in our heart

They will never break

How hard we try

Alone

Scraping our body off the kitchen floor

Keeping the wolf at the door

They put us in colour

We took it off

It hurt too much

A scorpion sting shooting through our brain

Let's down a space bag she squeals

I pop the plastic

Pour it down our throats

Nice and cool

Just the ticket 

Little cricket

She holds my hand and we drift

I wonder how deep the rabbit hole goes

We will know when we get there I suppose

I have no concept of time

How do I get it back Alice

Quit doing drugs

Sometimes it hurts

That's silly silly

It's like a pressure

The inside of a balloon

Pressing hard against fragile skin

If it pops we can blow another one up

I hold the phone

No numbers left to dial

We curl in a ball

Wait for the shade and fall

Let's have some sugar little sugar

Cook up a spell

Forget who we were

Dissolve

Devolve

Dissolution

This is the sound of my capacity declining

Tucked deep in a house that nobody visits.