Nowhere

She holds the bible

In her right hand

It is well worn

The letters so well 

Cared for

They feel like ashes

Falling between our fingers 

We are standing on a hard floor

Behind a rusted door

The windows let in the night sky

The stars are far away

Leading a trail between

Nothing and nowhere 

It feels like a dream

As if we sold the Red Queen

And left behind our bed

How very grim indeed

She sighs

I unfurl the bedroll

See a glass of bourbon

Half drunk

Left behind too

I take a sip

It burns

As I swallow it down

Harsher than a prayer

Sleep abandons us here

In the morning we will

Walk away

Carry on our own journey

From nowhere to nowhere

But always with each other. 

Findings

We found the letters 

In the dirt

Dug them out

Made words

Created a story

Some parts sang

Others cried

But still it was our adventure

I remember the letter squares

I stole

When words

Were still unknown

And I was younger than her

I tried to eat them

Hid them in my pockets

I liked the colours

And the cardboard

They felt strong between my teeth

Now we lick the dirt from our hands

And we are grown 

We really should know better

She giggles

It is strange

How time moves

How moments crystallise

And only make sense when looked 

Back upon

I would like to swallow 

Sweet letters now

Make a rainbow of words

Erase the story

That we have become

Write something

Special and new

One day says Alice

One day we will. 

The New Song

We sing the new song

Like a thrush

Welcoming the morning 

Giddy from the darkness

Of night and dreams

Time always moves

Like notes and sounds

Birds calling

Rain falling 

There are days when 

We want to go backwards

To know what comes first

And to forget how things will end

We imagine ourselves flying

Wings spread out

Soaring on the currents

Free as birds

She giggles

We would climb as high as we could

Then plummet down

And down

Just like falling into the hole

Stomachs sinking

Heads pulsing

Like a heartbeat 

Life itself

Of course it is just a dream

All the tea parties 

And riddles

They are like a game

But they keep us safe

Let us adventure

Take us away

On the breeze of

A sweet new song.

Rosary

She holds the rosary bones

In her hand

They seem too big for her pale 

Little fingers

She passes them from

Finger to thumb

Quietly counting

As they jangle and click

She furrows her brow

Concentrating

Do you know how to pray

I ask

Of course

Silly

Mother taught me how

She said prayers were like secrets

I stay quiet

I hope those secrets kept her safe

From the man who wrote the story

She sits framed by daylight

Looking out the window

I watch her hand fall

The rosary bones drop to the floor

I wonder who died

To help keep her secrets 

Whoever it was must have been 

Very special 

As special as her

We watch the clouds stumble 

Across the sky

The leaves float off the trees

A silent russet carpet

Perhaps when we are ready 

We will jump in them

Our secret hope

And prayer.

Possibilities

We place our hands

On the screen door

The glass is cool

Like rainfall 

Night is almost upon us

It floats around our edges

Like treacle

We open the door and listen

We expect to hear owls

And stars

Things which define darkness

Night knows better

It paints a picture

A silent history 

A path of light to lead the way

It is so bold

So certain

That we cannot escape its meaning 

Underneath the stars 

We grew

We leave fingerprints on the glass

Spider webs of possibilities.

Price

How much are words worth

She asks

Chewing the top of her pencil

A fresh white sheet of paper 

Sat in front of her

I try to think

But am as blank as the page

Maybe a penny or two

She says

I am not sure words are worth pennies

You cannot trade them or save them

Of course you can

Silly

Look at me

I am remembered

I consider

Is she a person

Or a collection of words

Strung together to form a story

Preserved

Like a bone in amber

There for people to enjoy

And use

I wonder if her story was a price to pay

She never gets to grow

Or learn how to

Paint her own Wonderland

It was all made for her

Not with her

She reads my thoughts

We are writing new places every day

Syllable by syllable

Line by line

I look at her paper

It is no longer empty

A beautiful trail of pencil letters

Fill it up

And for a second we know 

That words are worth the weight of gold. 

Swallowtails

The swallowtails swoop and twirl

Dancing through the rooftops

And the trees

If we close our eyes 

We can hold onto the sparkle 

Of their wings

Not as bright as the monarch

Or viceroy's wings

But still they light up 

The dull sky

Flap away the rain 

Lighten up our dreams

We follow their trail

It is as certain as a freight train 

We lose ourselves in the pattern

Back and forth 

Back and forth 

It is soothing

Like the steady tick

Of a pocket watch 

Ordered and tidy

Like letters neatly written 

Within the margins

No sagging ink marks

Or overcrowded lines

To spoil the story

Of course every thing which flies

Or falls needs to rest

So we open our eyes

Move away from the window

Let the dance of colour

Fade into the distance

The fine song of movement linger in our ears

Perhaps this was a good day 

She whispers

I nod silently 

Perhaps it is little cricket

Perhaps it is. 

Walking Away

I cannot imagine walking away from her

I know the weight of her body

The warmth of her skin

The way she feels

As she sleeps in the crook 

Of my back

I know how her hair smells

Honey and lavender 

How she shifts from side to side

As she dreams

I look forward to her laughter

Her sense of adventure

At the break of every day

I wonder if she knows

This is not where she was meant to fall

How the tea party never ends here

And we are all a little mad

Of course she does

Alice knows everything 

The wind brushes the window

Soon it will be light 

The rain trickles

Makes a splashing sound

Perhaps we will jump in puddles today

Or just lie still

Cocooned in our world

Listening to each other breathing 

Breath is life

I think

Our lives breathe together

As if we are one

And Wonderland has taught me

That you can never walk away from yourself.

Sheltered

There is a faint rainbow in the sky

We watch it fade

Like petals falling from flowers

We walk with nowhere in mind

Always turning circles

Trying to find a place where

We are sheltered 

Perhaps if we had known care

We would have found our place by now

All these steps are a diversion

The urge to move as strong

As turtles swimming across the pond

Perhaps we should catch them

She squeals 

Just like little boys 

I have the urge to laugh

But hold it in

It does not feel right to smile

When disease is in the air

She holds out her hand

It is as soft as the gentle rainbow

I give her mine in return

Calloused and worn

In that moment of connection

We have found our sheltered place.