Enough

The sugar falls to the bottom of the jar

Like our heart falls 

To the bottom of our throat

Squash the spider

Powder the flies

Never she shouts

That’s not in our story

She puts a plate of flowers

On the window sill

I threw away my soul

Not the paper

Or the words

Plain speech

Plain walls

She munches and crunches

As if we are bound by light

Our skin is the menace 

Which races and chases

Holds the fire in our hair

The silk in our cells

Graceless and yearning

Boundless and burning

We sell sea shells

She happily sings

That’s what they thought

Lay inside you

How could I forget

Black

Block

Razzle

Dazzle

Look it’s father she says

I thought he was otherwise lost

Shall we join him for egg sandwiches and tea

They are watching us disappear 

Like a magic trick

No

Like a childhood receding

Perhaps there aren’t any moments

We can truly own

Then it’s a story after all

She curls beside me

Rests her head on my chest

The sugar falls to the bottom of the jar

Like our heart falls 

To the bottom of our throat

I have answered all three questions 

That has to be enough.

Salt

The siren tears

A fragment of our silence

I touch my face

It is swollen

Salty

Sore

She cut her way out of the dress

I think

Like I chewed my way out

Not so far from the tree 

She gleams

Crunching her red red apple

Sometimes she can sting

Like bleach

And dreams

And tantrums

She kisses my head in the night

Am I your prettiest child

By far

I say

She is the prettiest thought in the wreckage

By far

She says

The houses in the window spin 

She opens our book

You missed the fireworks

I’ve missed a lot of things really

Home

Love

Need

Warm

Tender

Safe

Full

You still have me

I try a smile

Spread out naked on the pages

My story is not in my possession

It waits for me

On a stone

In a store

Laid out on the kitchen floor

Silent

Salty

Ready

Open.

Ascend

Even prophets hide their scars

She says

Munching a grape

I saw them

In the temple

Long before you were born

It’s the powder Alice

The memories aren’t real

I look at the ceiling

Occupied to the point of despair

The light knocks the curtains

Wracks my head

Time to get up 

She claps her hands

There’s much to do

And so little time

Now you sound like Rabbit

She pokes her tongue out

I close my eyes

She crawls next to me

Bumps my elbows

Pricks my flesh

I relent

Switch floors

You know what we need

A sequel

You had a sequel

She considers

Then why am I still stuck

I sit up 

Brush my hand against her cheek

It is cool

Fragile as a nightingale

Fallen from its nest

I don’t know Alice 

Maybe that’s what we have to solve

For one naked second

I see her face

She is small

Neither a baby or a child

Open to interpretation

Just like you

You know I hate it when you do that

What

Finish my thoughts

Quick sticks

Manic panic

There are

Balloons to burst

Salt to grind

Hills to climb

Fires to quell

Sins to absolve

Wine to make holy

She whirls and twirls

High on moon beams 

Drunk on stars

My ascending angel

Peaking 

Troughing

Laughing 

Coughing

A vision to behold

What are you 

I am your fifth element of course

She blows a kiss

I catch it.

Scarce

We wash pennies at the sink

Splish

Splash

Snap

She stands on her toes like me

We pretend to wash dishes

Look out the window

It’s just a wall

Silly 

She giggles

Shattering all the signs

Which keep things right

I could powder you under the table boy

Except I stand here

Stripped

Shattered

Splayed 

Splattered

Scarcely me

We need someone to find us

Not save us

I agree

Stirring up chocolate and moon clouds for tea

Remember how the eyelash 

Got stuck in the vaseline

It’s a wish forever see

She holds up a grubby finger

The tiny lash fixed tight

The butter cleans the pan

Sizzle

Drizzle

She plays drums with teaspoons

I lie on the floor

Measuring something out 

Consonants maybe

Scarce is like scared 

She sucks the powder

Pacified

But with something missing in between

I suspend time

Like a paper kite

High up

In the glowing light

We are taking in more cold air 

Cold as a grave

Or a fridge she giggles

We explore his face in the dark room

His rage still visits us

In the empty house

It always will

She whispers

Smoothing out her frock

If you keep letting him in

Look

She giggles

Standing in front of the mirror

Even if I stand on tippy toes

I can't see all of me

The entire world is hidden in our organics

She taps her nose

Takes her place on the shelf

I roll over and quietly cry.

Dread

Can you pour me a drop of sunshine 

She asks

Sometimes when she speaks

Butterflies fall from her mouth

Others death rattles like feathers

Stuck in our throat

Leaving us speechless

Panting 

Out of sight

On the floor

I plant my red shoes 

Click three times

Isn’t that getting old

She whines

You know we are lost

And will never get back

Dread is the first feeling

Barely a second 

Stretch

Rest 

Forget

The shouting tracks our veins

Like ants chasing sugar

Ghosts holding knives

We hide under the bed

Cradle the hole in our chest

She places a tiny hand on me

Her finger tips blue

What was there she whispers

It is hard to remember 

There is nothing left

Not much more to lose

A heart I think

Although I have a pulse

I hold her hand

Grateful she is there

We close our eyes

Make our bodies tight 

She giggles

I will go first

Today we will dine on shells and sugar stars 

She rubs her tummy

Your turn

I feel green

She pokes me

My mouth is dry

Everyone left us for dead

Today we will dine on good news and dust

The effort makes my limbs loose

Floppy and stuck to the floor

We are miles away from anything real

And far too close to it too

She cries

Can you pour me a drop of sunshine I ask

We huddle close together

As if we are one

Click our bloodied feet

Three

Two

One.