Legend

The sink is ringing 

Again

Far away 

A long time ago

What do you do

She asks

Too much

Not enough

Mainly I am elsewhere 

Sometimes I spill out

Mostly I am nothing 

I collect pennies

But they never drop

drop

shop

mail

box

I cannot leave the floor

Find a way 

back 

track

back

Broken record

run 

walk 

stay

Sitting on my hands

Does not stop the thoughts

See

It’s all here in letters

Broken record

Broken book

Such a fancy idea 

She munches and crunches

Sweet sugar lumps on a pink afternoon

The chapel is dusted and busted

Is that a bang at the door

Waiting waiting

Ready ready

All fall down

I collect pennies

But they never drop

Fallen woman

Fallen pennies

drop 

shop

mail

box

The whole world is fallen words

Troubled not trouble

Sorry not sad

Badly not bad

Scared 

Locked in 

Not

Out

How it hurts

Every syllable 

Every sound

Tender to legend

Sometimes I crash 

Sometimes I fall

My head bangs the music on the kitchen wall.

Shadow

The door bends on the high

High Street

She carries a blue butterfly over head

It is pretty

She touches my shoulder

She hides her pretty

Thick white powder and red red lips

She is beautiful to me

I understand halfway why

Her hand untangles the puzzle

It lifts me

For a while

But the rise is fragile

Like butterfly wings

Our shadow returns

A lump in the throat

Halfway between summer and hell

The thought sinks in

Like butter

Sinking nervous through a dream

We trip skip trip to the high street

The birds scatter pitter patter

I reach for the rope

Maybe a ladder

Summer is coming she trembles

We huddle under the sheets

Pink medicine 

Pretty 

See

Apples for nausea 

Ginger for pain

Opiates are the best magic 

We keep close to our chest

I am tired of this pretty she moans

Sweat trickling down her back

Cementing clothes to wounds

Cans to pins 

Wishes to dreams 

Life to not being

I am ready to leave now I think

I hold her tight

If I was good I would let her go

If I was bad I wouldn’t care

Cut cans and butterfly wishes

How I wish that you were there

We can't get higher than the high 

High Street

She sings 

My little shadow

Halfway between summer and hell.

Dry

We lay the broken flowers at our feet

Underneath the falling sun

Dreaming of sepsis

Hearing the blankness of truth

Drying out

Someone is standing where I should be

She swallowed bottle tops

Marshmallow and skin on the floor

We swallow both 

I carry myself around 

On a neat little platter of sodden gauze

It's nearly all gone now

We have to start again

It’s all so very boring 

A bad tradition

Marching us through time

You can't drop blood 

It spills

What kind of woman did we create Alice

A monster

Untamed

Unloved

Unkind

Consumed by an architecture of customs

She no longer understands 

Do you remember life

Did we have it 

Have we wandered too far to know 

How should I know

I’m just a dream remember

She trembles and shakes

This glitter is good

It sparkles through our mind

The strip stripped strip lights

Of our strange city

I will never forget that room

Where I could not hold you

Someone else is standing where I should be

Rice

Washing up liquid

Dumb bells

Hanging out the new bag

Are we one

Or separate

Fixed or filled or patched

Drooling at the high table

Never happens anymore 

The building is very concrete 

But I still fall through the floor

We lay the broken flowers at our feet

Underneath the falling sun

Dreaming of sepsis

Hearing the blankness of truth

Drying out.

Calamity

I cut up dressings on the bathroom floor

Pointless really

We are already dead

Butterfly dust and calamity

Locked behind the door

Maybe we should cut up dollies 

Make them pretty dresses

I can see fairies she squeals 

Let’s cut up flower heads

I’m hungry

You’re always hungry Alice

Well, you don’t fill me up

Isn’t that the other way round

She sighs

This is all so very dull

Jump drink swallow 

Jump drink swallow

See

Simple silly

Constance is under pressure 

I miss Constance 

Tobias 

The goodness of god

Citrus angel and

Generator men

There are worse places to be

And better 

Down stream is where the rubbish collects 

I don't care if the flies come in

Or the spiders get stuck in the drain

Wake me up to get me high

Marshmallow stuck to our nose

Polish the bed

Tidy the stairs

Sand

Language

Sound

What does it mean anyway

I step over the 

Chalkline

Outline

Bodyline

Holding onto rabbit

Like a child

But not

Looking for a grown up 

To take away the gun

Time trips

Even when there’s milk in the fridge

Do me a favour

Don't shoot out the window ok

It’s a game of love

The security shot

Leave it to me

We're checking out

He picks me up and shoots down the door

That’s the way it is

When you love a child

You take out the threat

Don’t become it

But It isn’t real she whispers

Shut up Alice 

I can see fairies she squeals 

I believe in her

Is what she needs to hear

I cut up dressings on the bathroom floor

Pointless really

We are already dead

Butterfly dust and calamity 

Locked behind the door.

Poem

At the eleventh hour we lose mummy

Like daddy

Almost 

But

Not real

Time skips rope on the spot

You can't lose what was never there

Maybe says Alice

But remember how thirsty we got

When the water stopped running

It made us want it even more

I huddle undercover in the sun

Make your can count today

This stuff must be good

I've not seen it before

There's great courage in the air

Rocks and rain

Petrichor

Pleasant

Poem

There’s a reason we remembered that word

What is it Alice

She is gone

Asleep in our secrets

I stroke the sweat from her head 

Think how nice it would be to float

In a bath of cold water

The solvents make this strange city repeat itself 

My thoughts flow through her

A sour storm

Her lips flutter

Trying to catch the last song

Sitting in the air

It waits in a brown bottle 

Drink me drink me

I really should call someone 

Say I'm in trouble

She sings me like cheap gossip

Help me

Help me

Well this is alarming

Dull as razors

Let’s go against cosmic order

And keep chocolate in the bedroom

My little change of tune

We tear off the wrapper

As if the answers are inside

She gets to be more dangerous 

Than an enemy to you

The afternoon encases us

Like bronze statues

Stuck

Stock

Still

Speechless

I wish I had a mother

She screams 

Can in hand

Brain in tangled hair

We come down like a tonne of bricks

Only you could choose a powder 

Which makes your teethe ache and time repeat itself she sighs

I plant my feet

Look in the mirror

Try to find the real story

Written on my skin

It looks like rain 

Rocks and rain

Petrichor

Pleasant

Poem

There's a reason I remembered that word 

At the eleventh hour we lose mummy

Like daddy

Almost

But not real

The solvents make this strange city repeat itself. 

Sure

The freesia paper blows 

Underneath the window sill

A deep breath

Time passing petals

Heart beats in the air

Ding dong

Ding dong

We all fall down

We woke up to the queen

Dress in the corner 

Where no one can see 

The blemishes and stains

The flowers look pretty  

Says Alice

Carefully looking away

We put them in a chipped cup

Added water

A little lopsided though

Her tiny fingers try and straighten them up

Like erecting toy soldiers all in a row 

We’re not very good at many things pretty

She rubs her tummy

See how the letters change

When the sun shines the paper

Like magic and cake

Not today Alice

She sighs

Well, everything good takes times to grow

Confidence stars sugar and light 

Rainbows flowers blue cotton coat 

Skin bones teeth hair

Love

I draw in magnolia 

Breathe out freesias 

Like the sea in her eternal rocking

Keeping her child 

Safe shore sure

The letters fall like cherries

From the tree 

Ten star pennies

Strung up like puppets

Strung out like candles

Wishes and kisses

Sweet Williams and thyme

A touch of cumulus

Bitumen and lime

Swirled in our cup

Taken down

With time

Foxgloves are heady and make you forget

Along with the tincture she whispers 

You won't find what you need underground

Time waits upstairs 

Quick sticks

Up we go

It waits for no one 

You know.

Fault

You carefully placed 

A basket of toys by my bed

They felt like treasure

Love sinking in my skin

Like salt

Keeping us afloat

It was not my fault

The cleaning fluid smells like Bakewell tart

You smell like sunshine and soap powder

On a Sunday afternoon

I look for the calming tincture

To take us underground

It is molasses 

Liquorice

And champagne 

All cut up on an apple card

It is medicine of course she winks

I am the bare bones of excess

No stranger to pains and stains 

Aches and strains

There is a real sadness in being

Which makes you strong

And pretty

She whispers

All lyrical nonsense

Of course

You have one new message

Are you sober

Are you drunk

Hello sweetie

I broke the knife 

I can do this

I can do this

Everybody knows what I used to be

They cannot know I broke the knife

Better go to bed for mother

What don't you like precious

The pages sound like clapping 

Everybody holds her hand

My hands shake

I just want to be real

Tripping skipping badly on the can

So cold in the sun

Huddled up in bed

Could I have assistance on the tills please

Well that was all too much

My skin has been through the wash

It tastes funny

Grow in radiance

Fall in charm

I'm stable as a rocking horse

It's a very dangerous place to be

Not knowing who you are

Or where you're meant to be

I look for the calming tincture

To take us underground

A beautiful clutter of thoughts

All lyrical nonsense 

Of course

That's my clothes you tore off

Threw on the floor

The outside of me

Inside whispers Alice

I am thankful today I have windows to clean

Cobwebs to dust

All my things

It never goes away you know

You can't write everything out

I think of the basket of toys

What they meant

I swirl the tincture in the pretty cup

Everything precious can become a word

Spring strength and length and a loving touch 

I hold her hand and we look at the trees

It was not my fault.