Haunted

We are searching for

The broken house

As if we can find it

We can fix it

And so fix ourselves

Alice remembers sitting in front

Of the different doors

In the forest

Where she was lost

I remember three candles

Trying to light us up

In the city men

Used the telephone wires

Like tight ropes

We dare not look up

Helpless beings she mutters

We prefer strong women 

Fighters

Standing aloft with their kestrels

On their arms

Perhaps the birds will lift 

The broken house

Carry it to a spot we like 

Hatter stands behind a chair

In the corn field 

With a crow

How curious she says

I have not seen him stand before

We would like to go to the sea

Cool down our fevered heads

Too much haunting

Can be exhausting she says

And I agree.  

Sweet

The table in front of us

Is full of sweet treats

Battenburg cake

Thick rich honey

Crumpets

Toffee apples 

And sweet sugary tea

A veritable feast 

She squeals

Like a party 

I wonder if Hatter and Dormouse 

Will come

If you believe 

They will 

I reply

We have been too long

In the dark room

Our body has seized up

And blown up

Like The Cheshire Cat

We really must reduce the potion

But it is hard

I look at her

Sugar coated lips 

And deep blue eyes

She doesn't mind getting sticky

I wipe my hands on a napkin

I am happy with my words

But would like to have an adventure

Something new to write about

She smiles

All you have to do is close

Your eyes

And dream

I smile 

We both do

This feast has been

A welcome break.  

Lake of the Isles

We arrive at the Lake of the Isles

Wearing nothing

But scraps of cotton

Our feet are bare

We have forgotten our names

We are grief stricken 

Nothing but creatures

Who drink poison 

And fall down holes

How very strange 

That we have stuck together

It feels courageous 

To have a friend

Someone I am joined to 

We pick up sticks

Tall and strong enough

To help us walk

Where we are going

We do not know

We will follow the path

Take in the night air

And think about our time

At the Lake of the Isles.

Ancestors

We should grieve

For our ancestors 

But they are quietly murmuring 

In the crevices of our past 

Deep wails

That want to be heard 

Visible as bruises

On the skin 

Of a soft peach 

The depth of the hurt

So far away 

I throw salt

Over my shoulder

Stand at the edge of the door

If only we could leave 

Visit the fields and hills 

Alice lifts her eyes up

To meet mine

They are the clearest blue

She deserves much more than this

We both do

She whispers

As I shut the door

And focus

On the sound

Of our ancestors.

Collecting Embers

We open our mouth

And look inside

It is more of a window 

Into our soul 

Than our eyes

Dark

Teeth chipped and bleeding 

Everything is upside down

Alice giggles

Look the swan is flying in the lake

Outside we hear music

A fox groaning

Like a gramophone 

It makes the leaves dance and twirl 

There is a man in the lake

He is burning a paper boat

Today is very curious 

Alice concludes

She is dangling off

The window ledge

Not a care in the world

Curious to her

Is normal

We will wait for night

Set the fairy in the glass jar free

And let her help us 

Collect embers

That sounds very nice indeed. 

Monsters

Grownups are the real monsters

Alice whispers

In my ear

We are taking tea with Mother

We know the score

We have been appeasing her

For years

It makes us very tired

Not after an adventure tired

Dead bone tired

We cannot taste the food

Or enjoy the tea

Not with her present

Everything tastes 

And smells like rotten eggs

We take deep breaths 

Try to maintain our composure

Part of me thinks

Be sick

Let her see

But I know it would be pointless

Soon we will leave

I will go back to my room

With Alice

The window

The well worn bed

We are not happy in the room

But it is us

The world which defines us

A hiding place from the monsters

Not quite safe

But ours, 

Tipping The Scales

She wipes her thumb

Down my broken face

It is as cool as water

Soothing

If only we could jump off

The turquoise 

Hill 

Swim and listen to the fish

And waves

I am sure we would be pulled under 

Our head is too full

Of blades and pills

To wonder such an adventure 

When she is tall

She gives me advice

Breathe

Laugh 

Embrace life

I trip and fall

Unsteady treading water

How many times must 

We tip the scales

To get things right

I lie down

So tired

And sick

She holds my hand

And for one tiny moment

I pray.

Moon

The moon casts an awful shadow

It snarls up the sky

Covers the lie

And reveals

A single drop

Of tears

Which land gently upon our cheeks

As subtle as breathing 

We are all we have now 

It makes our heat thump in our chest

We are not ready for this world 

We have carved off so much flesh

There is no room for pity

Or grieving 

All the signs 

We should have left

Have been erased

Like a bad dream 

It is just you and me

I whisper to Alice

As we prepare for dreaming

How we wish the moon

Would scoop us up

Make us one of her children

But we are lost

Flitting through thoughts

And adventures

Don't give up she says

And I cling to those words

I will never give up as long

As she is with me. 

Bird

She holds the broken bird

In her tiny hand

She thinks she can fix it

I would not like to break her dream

Chop off her head like the Red Queen

We are all dealt our cards 

And she can make things live

Be tender and sweet

We have been running through

Passageways

Full of windows

But no doors

I stand alone outside the shop

Where women sell their souls

It would be nice to take tea

Watch the horses

Running in the field 

We stand by a lake 

Our umbrella on fire

All we want to do is sleep

Under a canopy

Shiny as stars

Soft grass beneath us

A cosy pillow

Birds twittering and talking around us 

We wish for this 

But I pause and look at 

The bird in Alice's hand

How quickly life can pass

How hard it is to catch it. 

Red

There was another young girl

Who had magical red shoes

I tell Alice

She clicked them three times

And wished herself home

Sounds a little lazy

She says

Did she not have to solve puzzles

Yes I say

And she made friends along the way

Just like you

Hmm she ponders

I am quite happy with my 

Shiny black shoes

There is quite enough adventure

And magic in the world 

To need magical feet

And what would the Red Queen say

I think she would disapprove

I tell her 

I am glad there is red 

In the world 

But I find blue more calming

And golden hair

She giggles 

Nothing too bright and shiny

That hurts us

That is why we had to turn the 

Red bed grey

We stay for a second in the silence

It is good to have a jolt of colour

But rather nice to sink back in the clouds. 

Homecoming

The birds lose their wings

Fly into the window panes 

They do not die

They are coming back to nothing

A re-birth

A homecoming 

Do you remember 

Any other time

Asks Alice

No I reply

They are all the same 

Same stories 

A time when all there was

Was lies 

We have come and gone 

There and back

Still we do not find peace 

Tell me something new

She pleads

But I can't 

I roll onto my side

Cry quietly 

And she wraps a tiny arm 

Around me

Embraces me

Like a proper homecoming.

Fairy Tale Retold

We sit together wrist by wrist

Listening to the Fairy Tale Retold

Everything thing is a story

Which we tell ourselves

The words become clear

Translucent in the night sky

Inside we are howling 

A miracle

To take us over the bridge 

Enough is enough

Says Alice

But I cannot hear her call

It has been too many years 

Hidden from the brightness

Hiding in the shed

There is no one left to tell

We shut ourselves inside 

Close the the door]

Sever the threads

Everything is close but far away

Where do we start

Where do we end

Everything is curious 

Like a fairy tale retold.

Famous Faces

She sits crossed legged

On the thick carpeted floor

Silver tea set to her left

Book in front of her

Quite the little pixie

I wonder what it would be like

To be famous

She asks

Don't you already know

I reply

Well I am only a child 

Let me think 

I say

It would mean that you couldn't 

Ride a subway

Or drive a car without sone one 

Wanting to take your picture

You would be followed

Perhaps you would like it

Having all the evidence 

That you exist

Perhaps you would try

To hide

Wear a hat 

Dress up in a suit and tie 

Or sit back comfortably 

In a trouser suit

Confident that you are important enough

To be measured and reported

She thinks for a moment

I enjoy being on the page 

Here quietly with you 

But I do not wish for more than that

We both smile and she turns the page of her book. 

On Writing

Our pulse slows

And our heart feels like a cushion

We are writing

At peace

As the letters and words

Fall onto a blank sheet of paper

It is the best thing we do

She giggles and twirls

So many adventures

I wish they weren't all

Nearly blue

But then you can't write happy

If you have never really known it

She sits beside me

Golden blonde hair

Trailing her shoulders

Dress and pinafore 

Washed and ironed

As if today will be a big day

I stop and think

Just what am I trying to say

It is what you show

She answers 

Not what you tell

I think he taught me that

She chews her fingers

But then again

He told a story

So much confusion

I think we should pour the tea

I put my pen down

Feel the relief of having done

Something today

She hands me the cup

And we sit in silence

Enjoying the sweet, golden liquid. 

The Dead Are Beautiful Tonight

We are huddled together

Back to back

In front of the bush

There is a curious stain in the sky

Crows says Alice

They alway come 

When your shut your eyes 

A spider crawls up a web

We are careful not to disturb

Its journey 

It moves so gently

It seems almost still 

There is a taste of salt

In our mouths

A reminder of the seaside rain

Subtle but there

Night falls down

Around us

Like a warm blanket

It is all just energy changing 

She says

Moving closer to me

Don't you think

The dead are beautiful tonight 

She asks

I think of all the memories

The smells 

The taste of frozen kisses

Yes I say

I think the dead are beautiful tonight

As beautiful as the living

And like us all 

The one's on the journey to the end. 

Moon

We pass the moon 

In between our hands

Alice throws

I catch

It seems natural that way

It is a game we have 

Been playing for many a time 

Something we can give 

Each other

With no regrets 

I am mute

Cast upon the shadows 

Her laughter breaks the silence

It is a pleasure to break the lull

To cast a space 

Between everything and nothing 

I see the breath in her rising

Perhaps there is nothing better 

I like the cool moon

It seems kinder 

Than the blazing sun

Perhaps there will be raindrops

To wash away the tears

We belong to each other

As the thunder roars

Pray for a kindly moon

And glorious sleep.