Justice

Spiders drip from the wall

Our time lost

One hundred and sixty four hours

Nine thousand 

Eight hundred

And 

Forty

Minutes

All gone

The clock was stuck at three

Stumble trip skip

Bitter dust and rust

So much 

Lost

In every rancid inhalation

They fed us animal crackers

To show us what we are mouths Alice

I know

I know

The cherry blossom hair is wet

They pinned a name to the wall

It was not ours

I think it was our soul

Pinned and stitched up

Rose gardens and chrysanthemums

All flower storms and glory

Sleep sits on the top shelf

Waiting to be taken

Spend more

Look less

Along comes Alice

She defines poetic justice

With a word filled gun.

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Jae and Alice have been released from the nut hut...i am sorry if I don't get around to your posts or comments

Nothing

If we plant our feet in the earth

Will we grow bigger than the walls they keep us in

She trills in her diaphanous tones

The cherry blossoms fall

Like our hair falls

In clumps

On the stained floor

Not our floor

That is very far away

Like the lace collar

On the blue velour dress

We can only imagine

Gently touching our neck

Holding us together

Letting us be

We need to leave our thoughts in the purse

Whispers Alice

They can’t find them there

If they can’t find our thoughts

They will never find us

It will be like hiding under the black umbrella

When the cherry blossom falls

Like bad weather

Or the sun shines

And we have to find shade

They already found us Alice

It is too late to be unfound

Confounded

Dumbfounded

Astounded

Like terrible ink

Dribbling down the page

There is a dissonance

A mottled clip of breath

One minute

We were safely iridescent

The next

We were nothing.

A note from Jae

Thanks to all who have left comments and visited my blog

Just to let you know I am currently in hospital 

I hope to write if I can but I may not get around to your replies or posts

- Thank you as ever for visiting here. Hopefully I will be back to 'normal' (whatever is that says Alice) soon enough

Jae

Hush

We wait at the chemical hatch

Hatch our plans

It is green 

Like our 

Head

Planted in the earth

My little flowered girl

Can we stay here whispers Alice

I like the dirt wiggling through my toes

It's like electricity

Like being alive

She sways 

All leaning steeples

And bells

Floored logic

Flawed logic

Bring him back beneath my roof

The boat man wears a life jacket to buy his milk

It has handles on the back

Ready for someone to lift him up

And out

See

I said we needed something to keep us afloat

I think it will take more than a jacket Alice

Besides

We are too far gone

Life jackets don’t work underground

She looks to me

Grabs the bottle

Licks her lips

Her eyes pinch a little as the burn

Tickles the back of my throat

My little earth girl

No more than I deserve

In this

Beautiful

Desparate

Hush.

Trap

We trip across the car park

No energy to lift our feet

Or hold ourselves steady

It’s like I don’t exist says Alice

Like I am nothing more than ash or dust

Floating in the wind

Don’t worry I whisper

And rub her crimson cheeks

Some moments are strange

Like everything is askew

Once we are back

In the cupboard

On the floor

We will be normal again

Not happy or sad

Just us

She sniffles and thinks quietly

I can’t quite make out the words on her lips

But know them already

How can you not know your own words

They drip from our lips like broken flowers

She pulls her socks up

Resolute

Invisible

I can live on a mouthful of spit

A dose of rain 

To soothe the air

Cream cakes

And fizzy cans

Shh 

We are not there yet

My tongue is furry

Ripe with anticipation

Funny how you can crave a dream

Which holds you tighter than the cage they put you in

A sanguinary nightmare

That's really quite delicious 

The only thing we know

She swings her legs 

Her tired old shoes

Bumping me in the small of the back

Wake up

Wake up

So we can trip and fall

Once more

Once more

I trip across the parked car

It’s like I don’t exist

Like I’m nothing more than ash or dust

Floating in the wind

Don’t worry whispers Alice

We were never considered lost

We never were

And never will be

I open the door

My hand shakes

My heart sinks

I don’t know whether to go in 

Or turn back

I am uncertain who is the guest in this house.

Glance

The silver lining taunts me 

From the highest branch

Foolish child

Thinking there was somewhere safe

Better

Redemption

Salvation

Save me

Save me

Mocks Alice

Fragile or valuable

Let me know

Even the plainest faces

Hold hope

What happens when you’ve passed 

Your tipping point

Once 

Then 

Twice

And no none notices

First 

Or

Second

Time

Then you cease to be little one

Persona non grata

I caress the cup

Dose us up 

Milk and alcohol

So we do not cry

Out loud

Threshold

Thresh hold

Thresh

Hold

There’s always a word

Pouting deep inside

Like acid

I wish our home was sweet 

Sighs Alice

I cradle her in my arms

Wish for us both

Just a glance of

Peppermint dreams

And vanilla stars

A silver lining

Foolish child.

Vent

I don’t like this moans Alice

Brushing her fingertips against the wall

What

It feels like time is all sticky

Stuck on us

Worse than the spiders 

And the bugs

Shh

What

Stop talking

I’m trying to think

About what

Us

You 

Me

Time

Well that sounds a bit silly

I hand her the mirror and the spoon

She shuffles to the bathroom

I look at the page

It feels empty without her

I hear her giggle behind the door

See

You need me

She washes the sticky down the sink

Comes and sits by my feet

Worries my trouser leg

As if she wants to get inside

Closer

Right there in the middle of the pain

Like a broken tooth

I place my hand on her head

It is hot

Too much thinking she says

It weighs you down

After a while

How long is a while

Lots and lots and lots

I sigh

Are we chasing rabbit 

Or is he chasing us

We both know

The answer is buried deep in the cement

Frying our head

Ravishing our heart

Worming its way through the vents in the walls

The tree is getting bigger 

Can you see

She looks up

Of course silly

The orange kite is there

On the toppest top branch

It is waiting 

Funny

How a tree can grow bigger

Even when the flowers fade and fall.

Enlighten

Do we need a light jacket 

Or a life jacket

I don't know yet Alice

It depends how far we go

Just get dressed

I have been lying 

On the floor

By the door 

For four days now

We have enough to keep breathing

It seems folly to leave

Well I for one

Am having fun

It’s like being on a boat

Heading out to sea

Look 

Up there

There’s a kite with orange strings

They are hands I think quietly

Strong wishes sent just for me

Kite strings would be too flimsy

To lift the two of us

She eyes me up

Sometimes I wonder

Which one of us is real

Sourpuss

She flicks out a hungry tongue

I pass the sugar bag

Again

It is strange

How we get along

That we are bound 

Tense as atoms

Bouncing around an apple pie

Fresh from the oven

She chews and spits

I fall through the floor

I would like some cool damp grass

Through which to wipe my fingers

Like washed and wispy angel hair

She giggles and claps

A little enlightenment at the break of day.

Salvation

The birdsong sings a war

Between my ears

Save us

Save us

Mimics Alice

She topples off the shelf

High as a kite

Low as the suitcase waiting by the door

I give her the next bag of sugar

She cracks her teeth around the cubes

Like a parable forming in her mouth

She spits out our dispute

I really can’t fathom why we hunker bunker down

Nobody is looking for us anyway

Enough

I curl up on the floor

I would like the pounding to stop

In my head

In my bed

In the same thought

Winding me up

And grinding me down

She wipes her mouth and reaches for the rotting fruit

She has an appetite that will never cease

However much I give her

She will always take

I lie still 

Careful not to let her read me

I have to get out

But my body will not move

The birdsong sings a war

Between my ears

The walls are fragile

Like cards

And yet they never tumble down

Curious she proclaims

Wiping her mouth 

And smiling

I roll over
Tucking my salvation quietly away.

Collapse

The prayer fell out the shopping bag

She is wrapped in purple 

Ready to begin again

How long will she have to stand 

As long as you keep watching

Whispers Alice 

Her eyes ablaze 

Rabid like the can

All brick powder and dust

I wonder when we will finally lay down

I would like a fine house

A country house

A safe house

I know my floors squeals Alice

Bouncing off the corners of the stone 

Flaws Alice

No, floors silly

We are on the first floor

It is not high enough

To

Jump

Jump

All fall down

I carry her away

Keep the prayer to myself 

Tucked safely in my pocket 

On that scrap of paper

God bless us 

And keep us

We are going back

Back

Back

To where the spiders hang thick on the walls

I drag my fingers through the spindles

They drift away

Heavy 

Like the skin falling from my shirt

I wouldn’t mind collapsing

I say to Alice as we lie on the floor

Coming 

Down

Down

All that collapses can be rebuilt

All that hangs on can never be changed

We lie still

Tucked deep within the night

Cherry blossoms fall like cuckoo stones

Breaking 

Open 

On 

Our

Head.