Winter

Some say winter

Is a dirge

What does that mean

She asks

A joyless song and dance

I suggest

Like when all the hail

And rain and sleet

Pound the window

And we lie in bed and moan

Well I find winter soothing

She says

Summer by the river bank

Was hot and sticky

Heartless

I will request the robin

To sing 

I am resigned to fancying

That bird 

It is small but strong

Just like me

She giggles

How beastly

To declare winter is a dirge

It seems quite beautiful to me

A time of change

And moving weather

We will wrap up warm 

And welcome it in. 

The Darkling Thrush

The darkling thrush

Sits upon the broken gate

The wood is sharp

It trembles and shakes

Like twigs

When the thrush sings 

Just like carolling 

Her voice trembles 

Her spirit at once fire

And clouds 

Just like you

I whisper to Alice

You are my written

Song bird

My spirit is frail 

It has an air of gloom 

One I cannot shake off

Or dare to try

We could listen to

The darkling thrush

For all time

It feeds our soul

And gives us hope

Just like any song 

Should do.

Apples and Spoons

She holds the shiny red apple

In her hands

It makes her skin glow

Like snow

Today we found some rusty

Silver spoons in a drawer

We would like to polish them 

But like the way that they 

Look used

Loved

Treasured

Standing on the edge of the rocks

Like a portal into a different world 

The candles have been burning

For a while

The wax builds up

Is reflected in the mirror

Somewhere

A man carries a cello

She giggles

We are in the frozen church

Well

Not really we dream it

Like we dream of galloping on a horse

Over a wind swept beach

Or sailing a ship out to sea

The peacock sings

All is burnt 

All is burnt

But here she is

The essence of life

Carrying the first fruit

Of the fall. 

Repeating Myself

Sometimes I would like to tell

A different story

I tell her

It feels that our adventure

Has lasted for a long time

All good adventures do

She replies

We are lying in bed

Waiting for the phone 

To ring

It never does

Who would want to hear our voice

Lots of people 

She says

And who needs phones

When you have paper and words

I smile at her

Always the little optimist

She giggles

Wraps up warm next to me

Like a kitten 

You see just there

I am repeating myself

How much longer can we sleep 

And curl up together

Forever and ever

She says

You will know when the story stops

It. just comes to you

Like a closing book

Or the jolt of waking up

And when it does

Every sentence will be new and shiny. 

Parallax

We look at the world

Through a window

It spirals and turns

Hard to pin down

At times it dances fast

Which makes our hearts thump

Then it settles

And we brood

Make it spin again 

She squeals 

We dare not open the door

People creep

On the steps and the stairs 

We always keep the keys

In the lock

Not everyone can be our friend 

The afternoon drifts by

In a smokey haze

We like the silence

It is like a blanket

Preparing us for sleep

Such is the wonder

Of a parallax.

Snow

The snow falls silently outside

We watch through the window

Remember the cathedral

How pretty the windows were

A man in a hat watches 

The wall

The woman's face is there 

We would rather watch the woman 

In the green woods

Talking to the wolf

One moment she is still

The next she is up and dancing

A swirl of pink 

And amber

Magical 

Whispers Alice

I can't look away

From the child's face

Her eye is covered

She has a feather in her mouth

And yet she looks resolute

Like nothing will silence her

As if her story will last forever

Like a ship in a bottle

Cast out to sea

Spared from the heels

And the railway track

Spared from slipping and falling

And so the snow coats our morning

A silent and soft

Start to the day. 

Cozy

We wrap ourselves up

Cozy and tight

The weight of the blankets

Calms and soothes us

Protects us against the world

We do not sleep

Just lie very still 

Hoping the day will pass 

Sometimes it is enough

To live in our head

Other times

We wish we had someone 

To hold us

Keep us safe

That would be new

She mutters

No one ever did

No one ever will 

Our bodies were touched

But not with love

It is no wonder we do not trust

Open our hearts for all to see

Life has been a shard

Of glass

We are glad we have 

Found away to defeat it

Wrapped up here

Cozy and tight.

A Pan for Christmas

Can we have a pan

For Christmas

She delights

We can bang it

Make a noise

Pretend we are in a parade 

Or some other type 

Of gathering 

It would be good

To make some music

To recreate all the ambitions

We forgot 

I remember the teachers

Made me feel safe

I was happy

For a short while at least 

We can buy a little tree

At the grocery store

Place an angel on top

She finds a steel pan 

In the dusty cupboards

And then a wooden spoon

I brace myself

And hold my head

As she bangs her pan

For Christmas. 

Hands

She holds the big metal key

In her tiny pale hands

I hold a leaf 

We have been praying 

For an adventure

Turning the beads between

Finger and thumb 

Will we ever get old

She asks

We already are 

I reply

When I am very old

Will you hold my hand

Of course Little Cricket

I will cherish every wrinkle 

Like the innards of a tree stump

She opens a door with the key

Places it on a waiting table

We are outdoors now

Holding a pigeon

Make it fly

She hoots and I let it go 

As I clap my hands

Light appears

It really is something

This Wonderland 

We trip 

Skip

Fall through it together

Hand in hand. 

Bleeding Heart

Goodbye bleeding heart 

She sings

I wonder where 

She finds the words

What does it mean

She trills

I stop

And think for a moment

To leave without regret

I reply

But I could be wrong

I get lots of things wrong

Hmm she replies

I think you must be right

It feels like that

When I sing it

She starts singing again

Over and over 

I hope she will get bored

Of it soon

But am pleased that she is happy

Making a noise 

In my silent world

I lie down

Exhausted

Even small things 

Make me tired

Alice lowers her voice

She understands

As the minutes tick on 

She knows to stop

And she sits at my feet

Looking out of the window

I think your heart

Is bleeding she whispers

That is why you are sad

I know of course that 

She is right

Thank you for

Understanding

I whisper back

Glad that we are still

Together.

Granddaughters

We shift our bodies

Under the moon

The sky is ripening with stars

Busy as a river 

Full of silver fish 

Alice has a fever

Too many thoughts

And dreams 

Her cheeks are red

But her eyes still sparkle

Starlit on the eve of December

We sail away on our boat

Well really it is our bed

And a mixture of potions

Fluid as a bird

On the wing 

It is funny to think

We are somebody's granddaughters 

She whispers 

It is funny to think 

We belong to anyone

That is the way of the world 

I suppose 

I wipe her brow

Ssh Little Cricket 

All that matters is you and me.

Dear Stranger

Dear stranger

You were never 

A mother to me

You did not love me

Unconditionally

With an open heart

You did not nurture me

Or show me care

You did not hold me

When I fell

You did not see my hurt

You chose not to hear 

My screams

You did not kiss

My bruises

You did not

Protect me from harm

You did not praise 

My successes

You laughed at my losses 

I needed you

But you were not there

But always

Always

I have loved you 

Needed you

Forgiven you

Dear mother

You are a stranger to me

And I am a stranger to you.

Invocation

The waitress brings us

Tea and cake

We have been on an adventure

And are hungry and tired

Craving our bed 

And sugary sleep

The waitress doesn't have a name

Not like Hatter

She must in real life

We whisper 

When she has left our table 

Today like a cat chasing a mouse

We ran into the field

And on to the forest

We could feel the power

Of the trees 

For a moment it left us in a fluster

But we spied our deer

And learnt to be still again 

We sat 

Took a rest

Like sitting on nature's porch 

We summoned up

An invocation

Please keep us safe

That we have made it

To the end of another day

Seems magical

We finish up 

Our tea and cake

Slowly walk back to the room

At least we left

If only for a moment.

Paths

We hold the leaf 

In our hand

It is cold and the veins

Have turned orange

Our fingers tremble

But at least the path ahead

Of us is full of lights

We would choose to be high

Up in the canopy

Rather than in the dark of the 

Train tracks

That gave me goose bumps

She whispers

Sometimes it feels like 

We are walking on a tight rope

Higher than 

The Eiffel Tower

When we dream

It is of a distant house

Hidden in the bullrushes 

There is a wooden bridge 

The splinters cut our feet

The silent hunter

The tawny owl 

Flies in the moonlit sky

Hunting out his prey 

Quite magical 

She declares

As magical as the lunar eclipse

And walking on the road to nowhere 

There are so many paths

She says

It is a pity

That you only choose one.

Ordinary

I have been called many names

But by far the worst

Was average

You are just an ordinary person

The jealous woman said

Alice contemplates my face

You are far from ordinary

She says 

If nothing else

You made your body special 

Her delicate fingers

Run over my scars

Face to toes

And your mind has always been different

You think in a different way

Not good 

Or bad

Just your way

Thank you Little Cricket

I kiss her finger tips

Another thank you 

One for touching me

In the body 

I am 

Quite how you can pluck

A story from thin air

Makes me giggle

It is not as if you go on any adventures

Any more

I chew my lip

Getting past the front door

Feels like an expedition 

I am quite happy 

Lying here with you 

I say

And we look at each other

With mutual love and wonder

Two special young women

Half lost 

Half found

Always together in spirit.

Navajo Mountain

We are two strangers

Breathing our story

On top of the Navajo mountain

The sage brushes our feet

We live and we remember

Alice smiles

That is why you are addicted

To the potion

You do not really want to live

You would rather live in your head

Wouldn't we all 

I reply

Perhaps we walked

To the 

Mountain top

For a blessing

Some ancient gift

Like bread

To keep us moving 

We walked to be be found

She whispers

She is always right

The movement soothes us

Much better than lying still

Although that is all

We can manage 

And so we rest for a while

On top of the Navajo mountain

Breathe in its wisdom 

Our truth

And exhale our hopes

High up into the sky, 

Edge of a Dream

We walk high up on the walls

The burnt out town behind us

Tiger comes too

For protection

It was only a moment 

Before that we were

Wrapping flowers 

Around our eyes

Their colours shimmering

Under the light of

The morning moon

She reaches out a tiny hand

To a shadow hand

Imprinted on the walls

We have to keep moving

I say

As gently as I can

There is an open door in a field

We go through

Tiger has taken us as far as he can

Now we travel alone 

Metal birds 

Above us

Long dresses holding 

Us down

How very silly says Alice

I wish I was a boy

No cares

Just eating red roses 

But girls get to ride horses

I say

One appears 

As if by magic

And we gallop along

Emerging from

The edge of a dream. 

Talking to Ourselves

Remember when you lost your mind

And you thought everything 

Was magic

She asks

I remember it fondly

I reply

It was the best time 

Of my life

Seeing signs

Colour

Him

The magician 

Now he was tricky

We giggle

I liked the fire

Sitting on the edge of the bridge

I liked the invincibility 

It is a pity

It was fleeting

She says

Twenty-eight days

Of dancing and singing

I believe in madness 

You are your true self

I think this

She nods in agreement

We do not always have

To speak out loud 

Now things are the same every day

She moans

You are addicted to the potion

I cannot leave you

Just in case

Well

You know

I reach for her hand

Stroke her hair

Her brow is feverish

Too much time thinking

And talking 

I whisper

And lay down

To sleep

Remembering how magic can be, 

Deer

We say our morning

Prayers

The mist is rising 

The clouds are parting 

Please let us see

The deer's breath of every colour

Like a fetish

We want to run through the shadows

Let the spruce tickle our feet

The juniper berries

Fall into our hair

When we touch them the juice

Will turn our fingers 

To indigo 

That will be magic 

As the day passes

The pollen will make

Our noses twitch

Just like the deer 

She says

If the deer is wise

It will stay hidden 

I reply

If only our bodies were nimble

Like his

Not withered and tired

Like ours

At least we have a wish

To see the deer's breath of every colour. 

Keys and Pews

Remember when we used

To go to the special place

Smell the old wooden pews

The memories

And the prayers 

Now the door is locked

We lay out a pile of

Old keys

On a wooden table

Wood as worn as the pews

Together we sift 

Through the keys

Maybe one will fit

She squeals

With delight

She always has enjoyed 

Solving puzzles

Outside

A blue tit

Nestles under the statues hand

Like I would like to be protected

But I am no delicate bird

I am a black bird

Flying out of an unwritten book

After a while we give up

Trying to unlock the door

We only have to close our eyes

To go there again

We hold hands and lie down

Shut our eyes

And whisper a tiny

Silent

Prayer. 

Three

Three is not a magic number 

For us

We like things to be even

Uneven makes us

Shake and hurt

There is just you and me

She whispers

We get lonely

But cannot manage many more

The noise

The chaos

People really are unpredictable 

We like to be safe 

In our room

In our bed

In the dark

Life passes us by

This way

Such a waste 

Some might say

It is all we can do

I reply 

In my thoughts

Even makes sense

Three is just odd

Not if you give it a try

She replies

Fall down the hole

Have an adventure

I will show you more. 

April Moon

The face of the moon

Shines over the grass

Soft and fleeting

Like a pandemic

Of pink and silver stars 

We will rest in the 

Damp grass

Tired of trying

Tired of being 

Morning will come

Or so we assume

The waves of hopelessness

Pull us under

I hold her hand tight

Wonder what the first thing 

I saw was

And what will be the last

I know of course

That she will be there

Until the end

My heart

My treasure

My shining April moon.

Haunted

We are searching for

The broken house

As if we can find it

We can fix it

And so fix ourselves

Alice remembers sitting in front

Of the different doors

In the forest

Where she was lost

I remember three candles

Trying to light us up

In the city men

Used the telephone wires

Like tight ropes

We dare not look up

Helpless beings she mutters

We prefer strong women 

Fighters

Standing aloft with their kestrels

On their arms

Perhaps the birds will lift 

The broken house

Carry it to a spot we like 

Hatter stands behind a chair

In the corn field 

With a crow

How curious she says

I have not seen him stand before

We would like to go to the sea

Cool down our fevered heads

Too much haunting

Can be exhausting she says

And I agree.  

Sweet

The table in front of us

Is full of sweet treats

Battenburg cake

Thick rich honey

Crumpets

Toffee apples 

And sweet sugary tea

A veritable feast 

She squeals

Like a party 

I wonder if Hatter and Dormouse 

Will come

If you believe 

They will 

I reply

We have been too long

In the dark room

Our body has seized up

And blown up

Like The Cheshire Cat

We really must reduce the potion

But it is hard

I look at her

Sugar coated lips 

And deep blue eyes

She doesn't mind getting sticky

I wipe my hands on a napkin

I am happy with my words

But would like to have an adventure

Something new to write about

She smiles

All you have to do is close

Your eyes

And dream

I smile 

We both do

This feast has been

A welcome break.  

Lake of the Isles

We arrive at the Lake of the Isles

Wearing nothing

But scraps of cotton

Our feet are bare

We have forgotten our names

We are grief stricken 

Nothing but creatures

Who drink poison 

And fall down holes

How very strange 

That we have stuck together

It feels courageous 

To have a friend

Someone I am joined to 

We pick up sticks

Tall and strong enough

To help us walk

Where we are going

We do not know

We will follow the path

Take in the night air

And think about our time

At the Lake of the Isles.

Ancestors

We should grieve

For our ancestors 

But they are quietly murmuring 

In the crevices of our past 

Deep wails

That want to be heard 

Visible as bruises

On the skin 

Of a soft peach 

The depth of the hurt

So far away 

I throw salt

Over my shoulder

Stand at the edge of the door

If only we could leave 

Visit the fields and hills 

Alice lifts her eyes up

To meet mine

They are the clearest blue

She deserves much more than this

We both do

She whispers

As I shut the door

And focus

On the sound

Of our ancestors.

Collecting Embers

We open our mouth

And look inside

It is more of a window 

Into our soul 

Than our eyes

Dark

Teeth chipped and bleeding 

Everything is upside down

Alice giggles

Look the swan is flying in the lake

Outside we hear music

A fox groaning

Like a gramophone 

It makes the leaves dance and twirl 

There is a man in the lake

He is burning a paper boat

Today is very curious 

Alice concludes

She is dangling off

The window ledge

Not a care in the world

Curious to her

Is normal

We will wait for night

Set the fairy in the glass jar free

And let her help us 

Collect embers

That sounds very nice indeed. 

Monsters

Grownups are the real monsters

Alice whispers

In my ear

We are taking tea with Mother

We know the score

We have been appeasing her

For years

It makes us very tired

Not after an adventure tired

Dead bone tired

We cannot taste the food

Or enjoy the tea

Not with her present

Everything tastes 

And smells like rotten eggs

We take deep breaths 

Try to maintain our composure

Part of me thinks

Be sick

Let her see

But I know it would be pointless

Soon we will leave

I will go back to my room

With Alice

The window

The well worn bed

We are not happy in the room

But it is us

The world which defines us

A hiding place from the monsters

Not quite safe

But ours, 

Tipping The Scales

She wipes her thumb

Down my broken face

It is as cool as water

Soothing

If only we could jump off

The turquoise 

Hill 

Swim and listen to the fish

And waves

I am sure we would be pulled under 

Our head is too full

Of blades and pills

To wonder such an adventure 

When she is tall

She gives me advice

Breathe

Laugh 

Embrace life

I trip and fall

Unsteady treading water

How many times must 

We tip the scales

To get things right

I lie down

So tired

And sick

She holds my hand

And for one tiny moment

I pray.

Moon

The moon casts an awful shadow

It snarls up the sky

Covers the lie

And reveals

A single drop

Of tears

Which land gently upon our cheeks

As subtle as breathing 

We are all we have now 

It makes our heat thump in our chest

We are not ready for this world 

We have carved off so much flesh

There is no room for pity

Or grieving 

All the signs 

We should have left

Have been erased

Like a bad dream 

It is just you and me

I whisper to Alice

As we prepare for dreaming

How we wish the moon

Would scoop us up

Make us one of her children

But we are lost

Flitting through thoughts

And adventures

Don't give up she says

And I cling to those words

I will never give up as long

As she is with me. 

Bird

She holds the broken bird

In her tiny hand

She thinks she can fix it

I would not like to break her dream

Chop off her head like the Red Queen

We are all dealt our cards 

And she can make things live

Be tender and sweet

We have been running through

Passageways

Full of windows

But no doors

I stand alone outside the shop

Where women sell their souls

It would be nice to take tea

Watch the horses

Running in the field 

We stand by a lake 

Our umbrella on fire

All we want to do is sleep

Under a canopy

Shiny as stars

Soft grass beneath us

A cosy pillow

Birds twittering and talking around us 

We wish for this 

But I pause and look at 

The bird in Alice's hand

How quickly life can pass

How hard it is to catch it. 

Red

There was another young girl

Who had magical red shoes

I tell Alice

She clicked them three times

And wished herself home

Sounds a little lazy

She says

Did she not have to solve puzzles

Yes I say

And she made friends along the way

Just like you

Hmm she ponders

I am quite happy with my 

Shiny black shoes

There is quite enough adventure

And magic in the world 

To need magical feet

And what would the Red Queen say

I think she would disapprove

I tell her 

I am glad there is red 

In the world 

But I find blue more calming

And golden hair

She giggles 

Nothing too bright and shiny

That hurts us

That is why we had to turn the 

Red bed grey

We stay for a second in the silence

It is good to have a jolt of colour

But rather nice to sink back in the clouds. 

Homecoming

The birds lose their wings

Fly into the window panes 

They do not die

They are coming back to nothing

A re-birth

A homecoming 

Do you remember 

Any other time

Asks Alice

No I reply

They are all the same 

Same stories 

A time when all there was

Was lies 

We have come and gone 

There and back

Still we do not find peace 

Tell me something new

She pleads

But I can't 

I roll onto my side

Cry quietly 

And she wraps a tiny arm 

Around me

Embraces me

Like a proper homecoming.

Fairy Tale Retold

We sit together wrist by wrist

Listening to the Fairy Tale Retold

Everything thing is a story

Which we tell ourselves

The words become clear

Translucent in the night sky

Inside we are howling 

A miracle

To take us over the bridge 

Enough is enough

Says Alice

But I cannot hear her call

It has been too many years 

Hidden from the brightness

Hiding in the shed

There is no one left to tell

We shut ourselves inside 

Close the the door]

Sever the threads

Everything is close but far away

Where do we start

Where do we end

Everything is curious 

Like a fairy tale retold.

Famous Faces

She sits crossed legged

On the thick carpeted floor

Silver tea set to her left

Book in front of her

Quite the little pixie

I wonder what it would be like

To be famous

She asks

Don't you already know

I reply

Well I am only a child 

Let me think 

I say

It would mean that you couldn't 

Ride a subway

Or drive a car without sone one 

Wanting to take your picture

You would be followed

Perhaps you would like it

Having all the evidence 

That you exist

Perhaps you would try

To hide

Wear a hat 

Dress up in a suit and tie 

Or sit back comfortably 

In a trouser suit

Confident that you are important enough

To be measured and reported

She thinks for a moment

I enjoy being on the page 

Here quietly with you 

But I do not wish for more than that

We both smile and she turns the page of her book. 

On Writing

Our pulse slows

And our heart feels like a cushion

We are writing

At peace

As the letters and words

Fall onto a blank sheet of paper

It is the best thing we do

She giggles and twirls

So many adventures

I wish they weren't all

Nearly blue

But then you can't write happy

If you have never really known it

She sits beside me

Golden blonde hair

Trailing her shoulders

Dress and pinafore 

Washed and ironed

As if today will be a big day

I stop and think

Just what am I trying to say

It is what you show

She answers 

Not what you tell

I think he taught me that

She chews her fingers

But then again

He told a story

So much confusion

I think we should pour the tea

I put my pen down

Feel the relief of having done

Something today

She hands me the cup

And we sit in silence

Enjoying the sweet, golden liquid. 

The Dead Are Beautiful Tonight

We are huddled together

Back to back

In front of the bush

There is a curious stain in the sky

Crows says Alice

They alway come 

When your shut your eyes 

A spider crawls up a web

We are careful not to disturb

Its journey 

It moves so gently

It seems almost still 

There is a taste of salt

In our mouths

A reminder of the seaside rain

Subtle but there

Night falls down

Around us

Like a warm blanket

It is all just energy changing 

She says

Moving closer to me

Don't you think

The dead are beautiful tonight 

She asks

I think of all the memories

The smells 

The taste of frozen kisses

Yes I say

I think the dead are beautiful tonight

As beautiful as the living

And like us all 

The one's on the journey to the end. 

Moon

We pass the moon 

In between our hands

Alice throws

I catch

It seems natural that way

It is a game we have 

Been playing for many a time 

Something we can give 

Each other

With no regrets 

I am mute

Cast upon the shadows 

Her laughter breaks the silence

It is a pleasure to break the lull

To cast a space 

Between everything and nothing 

I see the breath in her rising

Perhaps there is nothing better 

I like the cool moon

It seems kinder 

Than the blazing sun

Perhaps there will be raindrops

To wash away the tears

We belong to each other

As the thunder roars

Pray for a kindly moon

And glorious sleep. 

Faces

Alice shows me a photograph

Look she says

It is like the ones he took of me

When I was in the garden

This girl is dressed in a white cotton dress

Her parents are in the reflection of the glass

I was left alone with him

She sighs

It is a sigh

Like the weight of the sickle 

I used to destroy my face 

We dream of staircases

Of falling down

It is quite possible we will 

Become beautiful

I laugh

You will I say

I will stary 

Hidden in the tree

My skin scarred and worn 

More a boy than a girl 

Your destiny is in your hands

She reads

Eventually I think

At first you have to survive

I think of the sad eyes

A young girl looking out

Onto a unknown land

One day we will escape

Our destiny 

I whisper

I pretend not to see

As a single tear drops

From her eyes onto

The black and white photograph

Of the little girl.

Alice Speaks

I worry so

When she closes her eyes

It is most curious

How all she wants 

To do is sleep

Life is full of adventures

But she is too preoccupied 

To find them

I fell asleep once

Under the tree by the river 

It was a most glorious feeling

But I woke up again

She never wakes up

Not fully 

I wish she would 

I need her

As much as she needs me

Belief is how we become 

How we are remembered 

By the things we do

She will not be remembered 

By much if all she does is sleep

Well, I understand it is not quite sleep

I drank a potion once too

I put my hand on her head

She likes that

It is cool 

And she is fevered

I want the best

For my friend Jae

But she will only truly be awake

If she wants the best for herself. 

On Friendship

We wait in front of

The night time window

To see our reflections 

Night time friendships

Perhaps we eat

A little bit of dinner

We don't remember

Alice has juice

It keeps her young 

We are waiting

Always waiting

For the next sublime moment

For the next potion

That will knock us out 

We toss and turn

Unable to sit still

Perhaps if we retrace our steps

We will know where our friendship

Began

But we are running out of time

Wishing for the future to come

And the past to be forgotten 

Such a terrible fright

This act of living

I wish it was a story

Me too

She replies

Except mine is more fun

Please don't leave me Alice

It feels sometimes

That our friendship has only begun. 

Sunlight and Stairs

We stand like a fawn

In the warmth of the forest

Daylight is coming

It filters through the trees

And the church windows

Alice sits at the base of an old oak

The mirror held close to her face

She is lighter than me

I am the woman in black

Who fell down the stairs

And waits for crow to

Peck her cheek

Take her breath away

Quick sticks

She suddenly says

It is like a jolt in the silence

Like kicking a book in the air

Perhaps we should load up

A jalopy

Go on an adventure

A proper adventure 

She declares

One that means we leave

The house

And the forest and church 

In our head

I am overcome by inertia 

To leave is to feel

And to feel is scary

But I will be with you she says

And nothing is scary with your best friend

The fawn chews the leaves

Watches us

The sun continues to climb

Perhaps today Little Cricket

Perhaps today

I say. 

War and Peace

For Poets and Storytellers United

We feel safe here

Wrapped up in our bunker of words

But it is a lie

The bunker is a place of war

Dangerous

Lonely

Finite 

It is no Wonderland

It is painfully real

Every second

Minute and

Hour 

A test of resolve and

Resilience

Somedays we do not want to survive

We dream of leaving

Perhaps there is some peace in that

But we remember what The Red Queen said

If you don't get it right 

In this lifetime

You will have to live it 

Again and again 

Tell me about it

Says Alice

And we both smile 

In the fading light.

A Fishing Story

There was a freak storm

Last night

We buried our feet in the sand

Huddled together

In our old woollen shawl 

Careful not to let 

The sea cut and graze our skin

Salt hurts

Like a burn 

We gasp

It is hard to hold our breath

To let the moment pass

Everything plays out 

Like an old painting 

If we can catch it

In our words

Maybe it would become a legend 

We push into each others flesh

Quietly playing out

This fishing story. 

Autumn Words

The words fall at our feet

Like autumn leaves

We know that it is not normal

But we wish to stay in the game

My throat rattles

A belly full of pills

And liquor 

Her eyes sweep over me

Checking I am breathing

I search for her eyes

In the darkness

How sweet it would be to see them

Like opening a box of delights

The longer we stay

The more I search

Time stands still

Yet moves

As slow as a tortoise 

How I wish for the Autumn fall

For the safety of words

And her soft hand upon my cheeks

Such a delicate wish

Bit one that seems hard to come by

But still I dream 

And still we are together.

Dancers

She dances

In the exit door

And a twirl 

Out of the entrance door

She giggles

It has to be my way

She proclaims

Her face milky white

Her eyes shining 

In the angles of her jaw bones

If we were brave

We would climb to the 

Top of a tower and dance

I am not afraid of falling

She declares

But I prefer 

Looking in the mirror

Under the glow of the lights

Before Wonderland

I danced in mother's clothes

She says

There were golden dresses

Painted fans 

A drum to beat

And hats to wear

I prefer a simple dress

I say

Though really I don't wear dresses 

At all

If I had to dance

It would be alone on the beach

The sand between my toes

I would dream of

Waltzing away 

On a boat

She sits down beside me

We are both out of breath

She is giddy with twirling

I am tired of falling down 

It is good to get lost in music

To move

But silence is even better

Golden she says

And we sink into each others

Shaking arms

Happy to have danced

Thankful to be still. 

Mistakes

Do we make mistakes

Or is every path a choice

She chews her fingernails 

Considers an answer

Finally she says

It is hard to tell 

In Wonderland

Sometimes it feels

As if you are stuck

When really you have moved 

A little forward

I take a deep breath

Try not to fall

Everything is spinning

Upside down

And back to front 

It feels as if the weight

Of two worlds

Lies upon my shoulders

I am so very tired

Wishing I could go back

Perhaps make different choices

The trouble is 

You only. know a mistake

After it has happened

She trills 

Happily making tea in the kitchen

I look out of the window

Limbs heavy

Head screaming 

I see the kind lady

She is in trouble too

Keep going I say

Be brave 

She replies

How simple kindness can be. 

Homework

There is dirt

In the folds of her linen 

I think she tore it

Playing in the brambles

I have been staring

At a blank sheet of paper

Worrying

The world is strange to me

It is strange to everyone

I hear her chuckle

A wonderful trilling voice

A little removed

Always close

Later we will wash 

Our clothes

It always matters

That we are clean

It is a measure of sanity 

I believe

She joins me at the sink

We will hang our clothes

Upon the window sill

Let them dry in the

Cool night air

When they are dry 

We will hang them in our closet

There is so much work to 

Do at home

We have to do it to stay alive

I hold her hand

And breathe

That is the hardest thing to want

All the only thing to need. 

Teeth

Our teeth are rotting

In our face

Too much liquor 

Too much powder

Anything to obliterate

The present

We rock ourselves 

To sleep

Hear the regrets

And the sighs of a wasted journey

The bees hum and buzz

Climb up to the window sill

We do not care

We have the curtains closed

No point looking at the sun

All is banished

All is gone 

The crack in the wall

Is agile

Tenacious 

We are bone dead still

We hope for something better

Run our tongue across our teeth

All is quiet

All is lost

Just the bangs of distant neighbours

And the echo of nightmares unfolding

We are frightened

And resigned

So many years of practice

We dare not look outside

It is full of losses

Sickness and death

I hold her hand

It is cold

I stroke her hair

Still warm

And yellow as sunset

Perhaps we will make another day

Perhaps we will be

Perhaps my teeth won't fall out

And all will be as fine as clay. 

Chess

We play chess with 

The Red Queen

She always wins of course

The board travels

Into infinity

As if he is playing 

In front of a mirror

Watching himself

Watching us

He is stuck in black and white

Like a prisoner

Reaching through the bars

We have moved

Into colour

We dream of horses

In the night

Their shadows

Trot and play on our

Plain beige walls

They are knights

She chuckles

She knows far more

About chess than me

The only game I play

Is risk 

We do not like to think

Of the Queen dying

She was part of our world

That means we always have her

Alice whispers

We can't erase memories

Good or bad

In some ways we are like prisoners too

In others we are as free 

As a pawn 

Ready to move forward

Watching ourselves 

Grow taller 

In the magic mirror

I wonder who will wear her crown

It will be preserved

Like a book of fairy tales

One moment vivid

One moment fading back 

To back and white

Just like a chessboard.

Toxic

Our love is not toxic

Not as toxic as

The patterns we use

To keep it alive

Our love is pure

Fresh as a neatly

Ironed white petticoat

We hold hands 

In the darkness

We are both scared

Waking up is so hard

Better to stay in Wonderland

Playing out our misadventures

My fingers shake

So many disappointments 

Words unspoken

Misinterpreted 

The days are both 

Long and short

We are aware of time passing

It is like grazed skin

Raw and broken

We hope one day to heal

Perhaps it is too late

Never

She whispers

As we both shiver 

We curl up back to back

On the red bed

Wait for sleep

Fear the nightmares

How wonderful it would be

To be free 

To wish for brighter things. 

Shelter

We weave a shelter

From dried grass

And moonbeams

We are far beyond

Our own galaxy

Everything spins and dances

Our head droops

So heavy with thoughts

And worries

A labyrinth of confusion

And pain 

We tie the grass

With petticoat strings

It really is quite pretty

She says

Crawling in-between the bunches

I remember the tunnels

She calls to me

I am too big to

Crawl inside

But am glad

That she is sheltered

We will play for another day

Wait for sun to fall

And moon to shine

Let the fine drops

Of rain

Pepper our skin

So tired

And yet so full of electricity

Perhaps the shelter will ground us

Make sense of the day 

The hours and the minutes

The seconds and sparks

Each breath and heart beat. 

Pulpit

We go to the pulpit

And whisper our prayers 

The stillness holds us

Like a straight-jacket

She kisses me

On the side of my face

I am not sure

If I feel it

The world is both vast

And small

The sparrows are nesting

In the spire

Silent and noisy

They are a map

To salvation

I hope my wishes 

Will make up for my

Lack of prayers

I check myself

All is silent and still

I hope I have done enough

To reach salvation

An end

And a beginning 

We do not listen

To the man in the pulpit

We have our own prayers

Longings and dreams 

We hold hands in the darkness

Scared and hopeful

What will become of us

We know

But dare not whisper

Everything has an end

How we embrace it

Is how we begin. 

Surreal

We stand on a ladder

And light the candles

They emit a warm glow

Over the fields and far away

Dinah runs up and down

The piano keys

What a din

Alice says

She is in her best dress

Holding a swan

Why a swan?

I ask

She chuckles

And answers

Just because

I am gripping onto the branches

Swaying over the river bank

A little boy blows bubbles

In the wind

He is smiling 

Happy as a fox

Sniffing bright yellow dandelions 

My face is surreal

Like an x-ray of a flower

Broken and torn 

I mourn for it

In a black dress

In the sand 

The wind blowing away the veil

I use to cover it

There is no running away from reality

Of course there is

She says

Silly

You just need to pretend.