We keep our eyes cast down
Swallow stars and unicorns
Time tick tocks stuck and sticky
We sleep in our clothes
Feel the body next to us in the bed
Breathing
Pulse taking
No sleep
No dreams
Windows black
Flowers scorched
All we have is our head
The visions inside
The messages come thick and fast
All a game
A test
We always fail
Body smells bad
Mind all afloat
We lie still
Close our eyes
Imagine what could be
Know what is.
What a sad piece Jae. Hospitals are hell so it is good to write about them get rid of the angst. Sharing a bathroom was my pet hate. Let's hope you will be home again soon.
ReplyDeleteAs long as one can keep imagining what could be, there is hope. I find that this poem, as sad as some parts of it are, ends on a note of hope.
ReplyDelete"Time tick tocks stuck and sticky"...Oh this is terrible. The images of scorched flowers, floating mind and the body only breathing add to more woes. So sad.
ReplyDeleteKnowing what is now can be the hardest of all. We hold out for new days,,
ReplyDeleteSounds like a nightmare. Hang in there.Hope you get better soon and can return home.
ReplyDeleteDespite the stars and the unicorns this is the most realistic poem you've written--at least it seems so to me. It shows me an entire universe. Those last 2 lines are devastating. What would we do without an inner life?
ReplyDeleteThere is sadness that weaves through this although there is a lining of hope around this dark cloud..
ReplyDeleteThe swallowed stars and unicorns add a note of beauty in a stark scene. "All we have is our head". And that head is precious to us, Jae, with its brilliance. Those closing lines - yes, reality is stark. Keep the vision of home, and spring, and hope before you, kiddo. One day at a time.
ReplyDeleteswallow stars and unicorns... wow!
ReplyDeleteThe line, "We always fail" wrings my heart. The resignation!
ReplyDeleteYikes! Too real! Too real! Very good and gritty description.
ReplyDeleteYour poem is so evocative of a sickroom, Jae, especially:
ReplyDelete'Time tick tocks stuck and sticky';
'We sleep in our clothes
Feel the body next to us in the bed
Breathing
Pulse taking
No sleep'
and
'Flowers scorched'.
The final lines are so poignant.
I think this poem describes your feelings perfectly, Jae. I'm so sorry you have your diagnosis but you are so many things besides what you have!!! Remember that, and that you have many friends that care about you! Big hug!
ReplyDeleteYour words are immensely sad Jae, the last two lines bringing tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeleteIf this is your now Jae, I so so hope things improve soon.
Hugs.
Anna