Saturday, 1 July 2017

Benediction



Our hips touch in the night
Seldom a wisp
A melody of thought
Benediction and prayer
A wave of tribes
Lips stuck stuck sticky on stones
There are chores to be done
Boxes to be packed
Rooms to be made
Are we willing to change or remain like clerks
Chalking up the damage like spit
Expectations dropping like pips
Strangers walking through a forest of fear
We swallow clumps of hair
No place left to wonder
A smock of cotton covering us in the cold
It's hard to remember what we own
Scrabbling through the rubble
Quaking silently and violently
Our hips touch in the night
Seldom a wisp
A melody of thought
Benediction and prayer.
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49 comments:

  1. Magical Mystical Teacher1 July 2017 at 09:39

    "Expectations dropping like pips"

    Is there a hint of expectoration here, Jae? :)

    Thanks for faithfully contributing over the years. I know I'll continue to see you at Sunday's Whirligig...you and Alice!

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    Replies
    1. Jae Rose1 July 2017 at 22:21

      Thank you for all the Magical prompts - they will be missed but yes Alice and I will see you at the gig

      Delete
  2. Sherry Blue Sky1 July 2017 at 10:16

    The packing up of boxes indicates a change.....I especially like the line "strangers walking through a forest of fear." Are we to change? I think we cant help it. Life changes us, drawing us ever forward into who we are meant to be. I always love reading you, Jae.

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    Replies
    1. Jae Rose1 July 2017 at 22:27

      And I always appreciate your insights Sherry - Thank you

      Delete
  3. Ellecee1 July 2017 at 13:53

    I've been away and have missed your poetry. I like this very much. "our hips touch in the night", sometimes that's all it takes and other times it's very lonely, depends. It sounds like an unwanted move,,,I've had those,,,

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    Replies
    1. Jae Rose1 July 2017 at 22:28

      Thank you Linda - good to see you back

      Delete
  4. Old Egg1 July 2017 at 19:32

    What great imagery you have created in this piece Jae; quite apart from the 'hips touching in the night' there was "walking through the forest of fear" and "scrabbling through the rubble" and so many more. Excellent!

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  5. brudberg1 July 2017 at 23:59

    I feel like night is a prison. Too close and yet apart... awesome read.

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  6. Sumana Roy2 July 2017 at 00:32

    "No place left to wonder" Sad space indeed!

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  7. J Cosmo Newbery2 July 2017 at 01:57

    Life is a succession of boxes.
    Midwinter greetings to you too, Jae. Cosmo.

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  8. Kerry O'Connor2 July 2017 at 02:49

    The slightest touch of another person in the dark can be a comfort in itself.

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  9. Magaly Guerrero2 July 2017 at 04:13

    When I first read the first line, I smiled... expecting the poem to be a sensual thing, full of loving touches. But that "seldom" of the second line made me sigh... then comes all that hair in the throat... and the lost of remembering. Chilling.

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  10. Unknown2 July 2017 at 04:25

    Nicely written, Jae.

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  11. Anonymous2 July 2017 at 04:33

    That slight soft touch in the night, when everything else is moving and changing, can bring the deepest kind of comfort. I hope it is so for both of you,

    Elizabeth

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  12. Jilly2 July 2017 at 05:42

    The dichotomy of quaking silently and violently made to read that line several times just for the savor of it! Love how the whole piece wraps back around on itself.

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  13. colleen2 July 2017 at 06:24

    'Are we willing to change or remain like clerks' is the ultimate question. I loved 'our hips touch in at night and 'It's hard to remember what we own.' Love it.

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  14. Mary2 July 2017 at 06:58

    Jae Rose, I especially like the strongly positive ending -- ' a melody of thought, benediction and prayer.'

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  15. annell42 July 2017 at 08:39

    I like it all....a benediction or prayer.

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  16. Keith's Ramblings2 July 2017 at 08:43

    I felt mixed emotions rerading this. From a melody of thought to a forest of fear - quite a journey you took us on.

    My final Scribble

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  17. kaykuala2 July 2017 at 10:36

    Are we willing to change
    or remain like clerks

    The ever stressful feeling to occupy our minds as resistance to
    change is always so strong!

    Hank
    ge

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  18. indybev2 July 2017 at 13:26

    This started in a lovely way, but progressed to inexplicable sadness. Too many romances end so. Good write!

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  19. Sanaa Rizvi2 July 2017 at 13:53

    A smock of cotton covering us in the cold
    It's hard to remember what we own
    Scrabbling through the rubble
    Quaking silently and violently
    Our hips touch in the night
    Seldom a wisp
    A melody of thought
    Benediction and prayer.

    Unforgettable write!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. J.N.T.2 July 2017 at 14:59

    I like the rhythm of your piece here. It makes me wanna get up and dance! Hi Jae!

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    Replies
    1. Jae Rose2 July 2017 at 20:35

      Glad we made you dance JT - good to see you

      Delete
  21. Rob Jackson2 July 2017 at 15:51

    Really good one. Seemed to meld two different realities.

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  22. Anonymous2 July 2017 at 15:59

    This is a wonder. My compliments in drawing us in to a moment.

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  23. Wendy Bourke2 July 2017 at 16:15

    Fascinating writing ... mesmerizing. Brilliant title ... wonderful close.

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  24. Deepa3 July 2017 at 02:37

    Awesome writing.
    Felt so sensuous

    Click Here to see what Mrs. Dash Says

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  25. ayala3 July 2017 at 03:30

    Beautiful!

    ReplyDelete

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