We dust the salt from our lips
Another day fades and falls in the shadow of being
There is never enough powder to dull the aches and pains
We walk in circles
Feet adrift on distant shores
Clinging to independence like a raft in the night
Alice spies the light house
I sink
Unable to swim any more
We dust the salt from our lips
Another day fades and falls in the shadow of being
And this is freedom Alice says
I turn on my side
Hear the clunk of cans empty and desolate
If there is land ahead it truly is a dream.
Living our own lives is so important as we need to control what we do. Sadly there is always someone sure you should change. Perhaps their lives are bad too so they need to interfere with others. P.S. Sorry all the drink cans are empty! The day that "falls in the shadow of being" are such sad words Jae.
ReplyDelete"Feet adrift on distant shores
ReplyDeleteClinging to independence like a raft in the night"
We feel the shore is there, but cannot see it. If we land, will we let the rules chip away the independence? Or can we take it with us? And then the trash--un-nourishing and damaging--it brushes against our independence like a threat. I think you've given me an idea for a poem, too. I've been roiling with thoughts, but none had landed. Love the stark truth of your poem, love the images and allegory.
In spite of shadows and sinking 'Alice spies the light house'...and so a land of dream is ahead :)
ReplyDeleteIndependence can be elusive. I find the following lines powerful; a vivid image of a land unseen, where independence perhaps dwells:
ReplyDeleteFeet adrift on distant shores
Clinging to independence like a raft in the night
Excellent as always. I love the imagery. Interesting, I also connected swimming to independence.
ReplyDelete"Another day fades and falls in the shadow of being" - this repeated line has such impact. As Robin says, it is sad. "Feet adrift on distant shores" is an amazing thought. Your work is truly brilliant, Jae. I can feel the fatigue in the inability to swim any more, hear that lonely clink of cans. There is land ahead, Voyager. I can see it on the horizon.
ReplyDelete..."clinging to independence like a raft in the night" ... I resonate with this as age infringes on activities. Great write!
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ReplyDeleteSuch a poignant excellent poem in which you feel immersed and feel the salt on your lips. Love every line
We cling to independence - yes.....but then we see it fading. That is what I feel right now. Your poem nailed it.
ReplyDeleteit may seem like a dream right now that there is land ahead but you'll find that happy shore
ReplyDeleteJust my take: In the bleak of darkness Alice sees the light. There is the hope of a shore.
ReplyDeleteThis is very good ... and depressing. :P
ReplyDeleteProfound...and may the light come true!
ReplyDeletewow profound as always. Sink or swim then sink again.
ReplyDeleteNo land to speak of just salt water.
You have to keep on believing that there is land ahead.You should see the movie or read the book" Life of Pi"...your poem has a similar feel to it.
ReplyDeletewonderful rhyming of words, the melody give us cheers.
ReplyDeleteThank you for all your comments
ReplyDeleteAs an eternal optimist, I hope the dream comes true.
ReplyDeleteIs that a lighthouse, or am I missing something?
After the struggle & the salty water, hope they find land & sweetness with independence.
ReplyDelete