We stir the water in the bath tub
Blackbirds slipping off cold grey skin
Behind the storm mask lies a truth
Dirty and hanging
What we need and what we want collide like galaxies in the night
Should we stir
Paint leafless trees on our horizon
We dig our skin
Scratch at old wounds
Try to see the words
Turn nothing into some poetic dance
As we flee
A brutal storm mask
Blackbirds slipping off cold grey skin
The dirt collects under our fingers
Pens and paper ready to explode
Not much more to see
A blank face
An empty page
We dig our skin
Scratch at old wounds
Try to see the words
They say all hangs in the balance
But we are empty as a drum
Sat in a cold tub facing a truth we can no longer bear to hold.
But we are empty as a drum
ReplyDeleteSat in a cold tub facing a truth
we can no longer bear to hold
The hard truth can be hurting. It is perhaps showing the way to get things moving along the right direction!
Hank
I hope so - thank you Hank
DeleteYour words over the last few years show that you are anything but an empty drum. Being able to express yourself in this way I am sure has helped you just as it has helped so many writers to not only express themselves but discover and enjoy the creativity that you may not have envisaged in the first place. Your words pictures are excellent Jae, so bask in that sunshine.
ReplyDeleteThank you as ever for your support Old Egg
DeleteThis was very imaginative. To begin and end in a bathtub, as we get into the truth of "it".
ReplyDeleteThanks Martin
DeleteI don't think it's emptiness at all and love the beginning and the end. Being so caught up with thinking so the water turns cold is splendid.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bjorn
DeletePaint leafless trees on our horizon... that line spoke to me...it's haunting.
ReplyDeleteThanks Thotpurge
DeleteI like that digging skin, scratching at old wounds and anticipating an explosion of words. Nice.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sumana
DeleteShared baths are usually revel in the wet warmth of intimacy, but here is the opposite, the hard parts of the intimate, where there is desperation and fury and the words, the words, the words never come out right enough. Is the storm mask hung between the two?
ReplyDeleteGreat question Brendan - one I do not know the answer to
DeleteAh, so often there is a difference between what we need and what we want. It is a blessing when the two turn out to be the same. The image of sitting in a cold tub facing truth we no longer wish to bear is a stark one, one that chills me to the bone. Your writing is very strong these days, Jae. Have a good Sunday!
ReplyDeleteThank you Mary and a peaceful Sunday back to you
DeleteProving that a drum needs to be empty to produce the best sound!
ReplyDeleteThanks Colonialist
DeleteI echo Mary. Your work is very strong these days. That closing line is bare and stark and i can feel its depth. You write wonderfully. May today walk on little cat feet, gentle and purring.
ReplyDeleteThank you so Sherry
DeleteOh my goodness, that last line was a "doozy!" Through out your poem I was reminded of a movie I saw many years ago, it was Japanese, and about women with words tattooed onto their skin. That is all I remember of the movie, but your poem brought so many images back to me. Made me think, if I were going to have words on my skin, what words would I choose?
ReplyDeleteYou would choose the perfect ones! Thanks Annell
Delete"Blackbirds slipping off cold grey skin"
ReplyDeleteSilly me looking for Sky where there's Skin
Luv that line so much 😃
Happy Sunday, happy you dropped in at my Sunday Standard today Jae
Much love...
What we want and what we need indeed collide like galaxies in the night. Would that we had the wisdom to tell the difference.
ReplyDeleteYes indeed thank you indybev
DeleteIf you can no longer bear to hold it, release it, let it go. Find another truth, one that brings light, laughter, and love. And get out of that cold bath tub. It makes me shiver just thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Thank you kindly Elizabeth
DeleteThis is really very well done. The sense of impending doom is very apparent. You seems to tap into the anxiety of moral conscience that sees what is happening but has no way to call a halt to what is to come.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kerry
DeleteThis is soo powerful especially; "We dig our skin/Scratch at old wounds/Try to see the words/They say all hangs in the balance/But we are empty as a drum/Sat in a cold tub facing a truth we can no longer bear to hold."
ReplyDeleteThank you Sanaa
DeleteReminds me of punishing cold bath treatments that used to be meted out to the disturbed - the pace of your words reveals the slow drip-drip from which poems have to be squeezed at times. You always pose interesting questions and throw in something quirky - blackbirds this time
ReplyDeleteThanks telltale - quirky can be good!
DeleteIt is a cold truth we are staring down as your words so soberly put it....but the real message is in these words....
ReplyDelete'What we need and what we want collide like galaxies in the night'
Very, very powerful my friend!
Donna@LivingFromHappiness
Thanks so much Donna
DeleteWhoa! I missed your work. (I've been on a writer's sabbatical... with no "outside" communication for the past 3 wks.)
ReplyDeleteZQ
Good to have you back ZQ
DeleteI love the ending:
ReplyDelete"They say all hangs in the balance
But we are empty as a drum
Sat in a cold tub facing a truth we can no longer bear to hold."
I love how skin and sky and walls converge in this poem when blackbirds sip off and grayness comes and all need scratching and painting. Here are the words and the world is your canvass. I wonder if baths are ever about something as simple as enjoying soap and swirls?
ReplyDeleteWe like soap and swirls thanks Susan
DeleteYou've created a fascinating juxtaposition between the cold tub of bath water and the feeling of being as empty as a drum. My favorite line: 'Pens and paper ready to explode' ... brilliant!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Wendy
DeleteThere is such depth and sadness in this piece. Your images are strong. The blackbird shedding skin is startling.
ReplyDeleteThanks Brenda
DeleteWhat we want and what we need collide - how true is that! Terrific.
ReplyDeleteClick to visit Keith's Ramblings
Thanks Keith
DeleteJae, your're definately not an empty drum as again you have penned a fine piece of poetry. Have a good week.
ReplyDeleteThanks Julian
Delete'blackbirds slipping off cold grey skin' - incredible image, Jae! Asylum bath treatments comes to mind.
ReplyDeleteSitting in a cold tub is surely one of life's most unrewarding experiences. I hope for you and Alice that the water temperature rises to a comfortable level soon.
ReplyDeleteMy Whirligig poem
Awesome blog, i always enjoy & read the post you are sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank for your very good article...!
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