The grey is coming over
The birds
Caw
Like Keys
Jingling in the sky
They hold weight
Like a full stop
Heavy
Pointless
It is not like yesterday
That day when
When the flowers were so white it hurt
I cannot do another day
That’s what I think
When another day comes
Pushes away yesterday
Like some error
On a type writer
back space back space
I cannot do another day
Persistently I re-type
As if repetition becomes vindication
I wish I wish to just stop moving
Stall like a jammed key
Too much ink to make words any more
I cannot make words any more
I cannot
I can not
She came to fall in a rose bush
A small rag of blue by her chin
To collect the spit
And time
It was not big enough to hold all that
And her fingers grew tired
And let go
They did not find her
They did not see the rag
Or think to look
It fell
Blue and tired
Hooked upon the thorns
But she was quiet now
Still
And the birds
Flew above
Quiet
Quiet
And still
And she smiled because
She could see from the place
That no
one thought to look.
interesting to change viewpoints mid poem. Love the imagery of the big heavy birds like a full stop. Always original, weighty and thought provoking.
ReplyDeleteThanks Dandelion Girl..much appreciated..
ReplyDeleteWords can be exhausting. I understand that well. And I like the idea of finding a quiet place where no one looks, just a nice little place to rest.
ReplyDeleteOne can't hide all the time, though. Eventually one has to find a way to carry that quiet place within oneself.
Thought-provoking stuff, as always.
The change in perspective is new for you, Jae, and a device used to great effect. You force the reader to consider the circumstances, the emotions, the setting from another point of view. Smart writing, that.
ReplyDeleteThe message is still so filled with despair. When I write in this voice, my current mood is not necessarily reflected, but rather a mood or scene I've felt before or observed in another. Is this your case as well?
Your imagery intrigues... birds are the key, the thorns actually protect, the spittle is here again, the cloth is blue this time. Great stuff, Jae.
You drag us into this piece and then you twist us around a bit. Effective.
ReplyDeletesometimes you need that quiet space where you can just watch the world and all is calm away from the things that stress you.It rejuvenates you and helps you face the next day.
ReplyDeleteThis is a little different from your usual Jae. I like the two perspectives too.
ReplyDeleteThe spit, the blue rag seems like a casual line but knowing that with you no word is ever irrelevant, isn't. The birds being quiet. I wonder what she knows was there that she could see and others never thought to look.
Be good to you Jae ;)
Gentle hugs.
Oh Jae,
ReplyDeleteI love these tidbits you write. they are so beautifully crafted.
So beautifully done, so emotional for me as I felt again the grief and losses of my life...
ReplyDeleteThank you Ann..one day..i hope for that too..
ReplyDeleteThank you Kim..i wondered where it was going myself..
Hope you leave twist free! Thank you Mary-Ann..
Yes, you're right Sheilagh...thank you..
Thank you DayDreamer..especially for the gentle hugs..
Thanks Marita..
Thanks for reading Joanne..
Jae
,,,looking,,,
ReplyDelete,,,looking,,,
ReplyDeletePerplexing, as always, Je. I especially like the type writer running through the first stanza.
ReplyDelete...I meant Jae!
ReplyDeleteIt always amazes me how seamlessly you work in the three words.
ReplyDeleteEach day is a struggle, but you can only push through to the next if you come out from hiding. Olly olly oxen free!
ReplyDeletei wish i wish to just stop moving. so nice.
ReplyDeleteDid you find Glenn? i am still..looking..looking.. thank you ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks Laurie..a whole different way of writing..
Thank you Alice..
Yes Monica..every mouse needs to leave the hole to find it's cheese.. the 'olly olly oxen free' made me smile..and think of REM..(bit sad)..then 'you can't catch me'..whatever game that comes from..but it obviously stuck! thank you..
Thank you Ed..
Jae
I adore the heart of your poem,
ReplyDeleteJae, the first verse in particular.
"As if repetition is vindication"
wow - can I relate to those words.
Excellent creativity as usual.
Shauna
I love that last line. She could see for the place that no one thought to look! This is another wonderful piece, Jae!
ReplyDeletethe idea of hidden out in the open and a life reflected in a small blue rag touches even the most untouchable ... glad to have stopped by...
ReplyDeleteYou really are a timeless poet :)
ReplyDeleteI think they'll be reading these words for many, many years to come.
Thank you Shauna..as much as usual ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Belva..
Thank you for saying Ben..or maybe it will be until Google blogger becomes defunct and I am left typing away at a dead screen.. :)
Jae
I hope that you shine every time you select 'publish'(on eblogger) because you create the most beautiful pieces; power is the same as pain in each of your stories. I am always so full after.
ReplyDeleteWhen your prospective changed here, my heart sank. I felt that she had fallen to her end and the place was underestimated to others and that she was silently content. I was really sad.
I love you through the blogger waves. :)
Thank you Archna.. and especially for the loving thoughts.. :)
ReplyDeleteSorry Ms Pie...glad you stopped by too..thanks..
ReplyDeleteJae, this one stands for me as a unique piece in your poetry. For one thing, shifting gears midway worked well. The familiar blue cloth, catching drool and time... yet there is also the grey (sky?) morphing into a silver key. Such imagery, and an upbeat ending. Loved this, very hopeful! Amy
ReplyDeleteThank you Amy..good to have an upbeat!
ReplyDelete