Same as she opened the bathroom door
White beetle
Clickety-click on the hunt
Shotgun cake gobbled down
I don’t think I can go back
But everyone has gone
In the centre of the train
Maybe the blue pen wrote an answer
Tucked it in between the shallow lines
Black beetle
Gnawing to the centre of my bones
Biro spider up my arm
Save me
Kill me
All the same request
Stop
Whack dabble what a blast
I don’t think I can go back
As if to run is to reveal
Same as you opened my bathroom door.
sweetest line ever: she opened my soul with a two pence coin - opening souls can become addictive but not as addictive as being opened. and thank you jaerosa
ReplyDeletetoilet references makes me feel the "one" is disappearing and almost liking it.
unfolding the map - maps can prove to be useless.
dropped myself on the toilet floor. it's a skill - yes like trying to curtsey while falling down the hole.
And that last line is the sweetest too Shauna..thank you... Maybe bowing out is easier xo
ReplyDeleteOur writing both reveals and hides our real selves. We write a poem, we play musical words that others hear, all the time weeping our lives away. Once again you produce an emotive work full of feeling that some will praise and some weep with you as well.
ReplyDeleteThank you Old Egg..maybe a little musical interlude is in order..a rousing chorus of something life affirming
DeleteSometimes a part of one's self must be killed in order to save the rest. But no blue lines on a map can tell us where that part might be or how to do it. Life itself is a skill, but we treat it as something we should be born knowing. Not so.
ReplyDeleteThank you kindly Ann...i think we definitely learn as we go along..and no, maps are rarely useful in matters of finding the soul..
DeleteExcellent value for two pence!
ReplyDeleteIndeed.. thank you J Cosmo..imagine if we'd have had a pound coin
DeleteA weird place to find hallowed! Well wordled.
ReplyDeleteThanks Viv..a strange place but i think hallowed is who we find..and they can crop up in the weirdest of places for sure!
DeleteMhmmm my comments are not posting... Shall try again...
ReplyDeleteAgreed with Shauna
"sweetest line ever: she opened my soul with a two pence coin" wonderful poem that begs to be read again and again
Thank you very much Pearl - i think Blogger maybe having some comment problems..i've ended up submitting duplicates too..thank's for coming back
DeleteYes, I love this piece! You have gathered some wonderful words to go with the wordle!
ReplyDeleteThank you Annell...like gathering shells in the shore xo
DeleteLike oldegg, a very emotive piece of work, Solid imagery,very evocative.
ReplyDeleteI heard cries of conflict. Cries to end it all, cries for help, dark moans of watching sinister things, suffering,
More... good stuff.
Randy
Much appreciated thank you Randy..it's definitely a mix of all those things...glad some seem good..
DeleteI keep hoping that the two-pence coin will be lost and that neither the soul nor the bathroom door can ever be opened again.
ReplyDeleteI certainly hope that both of us are in better places now..thank you kindly Magical
DeleteJae, you always make me think. Finding soul is an exceptional experience. Having it found by another may not be. We all, at some point, drop self. Problem being, self keeps coming back in search of the soul that gives it life. Circles within circles.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Thank you Elizzabeth..i am stuck in a cycle tangle i think...the point at which if someone came along with a coin and a temporary reprieve i would take it
DeleteI kind of relate to the strange toilet musings.
ReplyDeleteThey can be soul searching places..thank you Irene
DeleteThat is a crazy place!!! So many images and feelings and emotions. :)
ReplyDeleteCrazy indeed - thank you Tammie :)
DeleteWhite and black beetles - observations? It's wonderful thing! WE really need to know what makes us happy!!! ...and follow these feelings-images-actions! then maybe it helps us to get out of circle... fun approach to discover the soul :)x
ReplyDeleteThank you humbird...circles can be magical but a bit tricky! But always trying to discover xo
DeleteMarvelous description of time in the second and eighth stanzas. It hit me like beginning and end, life roaring, death eating away bits of a life until it’s devoured the whole. It's a good dagger, Miss J : )
ReplyDeleteMiss A
Dear Miss A...thank you kindly..we wish we wish for candy canes not daggers..one day xo
Delete