Sunday, 5 January 2014

Couple

There is some spare
Sky left
Behind her eyes
If I reach far enough
I can touch it
As she lies awake
In the middle of the night
It is strange
How she does not
Move
Blink
Breathe
As I watch her
I try to stay
But am always
The first to fall
The sky inside her
Is brilliant
A scarlet burn
Possibility
Hope
I wish for her
To take me there
Maybe that is why I wait
In the hope
That she
Might
The cold breath of morning reminds
Me that I am useless
Spare part
Sore thumb
Below expectation
Above disappointment
My hands explore every bit of her
A caress
Learnt
Gentle as I can be
Under her body
It dawns like scarlet
Every time
Strikes me hard
The certainty of it
Us
How her presence and absence
Saves me
Why we have become
A pair.


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38 comments:

  1. Old Egg5 January 2014 at 03:02

    Perhaps like me you think of yourself as two people, good bad, clever dumb, wise stupid, adventurous shy, on and on the comparisons go. It is good perhaps to admit it while others meanwhile deny the obvious when it is in us all...almost like a conscience.

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    1. Jae Rose5 January 2014 at 03:24

      At least two I think old Egg (although am a Gemini)..an internal Jiminy Cricket can be a good thing..thank you..

      Delete
  2. kaykuala5 January 2014 at 03:50

    Certainly a nice feel to be together! The warmth is permeating to both! Wonderful write Jae!

    Hank

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  3. annell45 January 2014 at 04:21

    A beautiful piece of writing...sets a mood....it seems each of us are always more than appears. We hear the words spoken, and wonder who said that? Who did that, who painted that, sometimes it is hard to live with the people that we are.

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    1. Jae Rose5 January 2014 at 04:29

      Maybe being out of body gives you a different view..thank you Annell x

      Delete
  4. Unknown5 January 2014 at 05:11

    Below expectation
    Above disappointment ~ why are we always so hard on ourselves?

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    1. Jae Rose5 January 2014 at 07:48

      I don't know..maybe sometimes it keeps us going? Thank you Robyn..

      Delete
  5. Laurie Kolp5 January 2014 at 05:19

    Intriguing piece, Jae...

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  6. Anonymous5 January 2014 at 05:57

    I like how your poem rolls down the page with its story and its ease. Lovely to read.

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  7. Anonymous5 January 2014 at 07:52

    A pair of one...the same person observing self. That's how it reads to me. I love the flow of this piece.

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    1. Jae Rose5 January 2014 at 10:44

      Thank you Brenda..perhaps even if there is another person partly what you see in them is yourself..

      Delete
  8. Unknown5 January 2014 at 11:01

    I love the colorful details here, J. Her blue eyes, the scarlet burn, dark night, dawn. I also like the upbeat tone making its way into your work. It is good.

    Regarding these lines:

    "I am useless
    Spare part
    Sore thumb
    Below expectation"

    Each of us goes through phases of critical self-analysis. This important thing is to pass through the stage, to a place of self-acceptance then self-love. Hoping you will soon see, feel the value of, your immense talent.

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    1. Jae Rose5 January 2014 at 11:33

      Thank you Kim.. What a lovely way to end this Sunday x

      Delete
  9. Linda Jacobs5 January 2014 at 11:06

    I love a poem like this: easy to read on the first reading but even better and deeper the more times it is read. Simple and complex at once. ust like we all are in real life! Jae, you awe me!

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    1. Jae Rose5 January 2014 at 11:35

      Thank you Linda..simple yet complex tends to be the order of the day..maybe I should hang some things on the line..sort it all out ;)

      Delete
  10. Mary5 January 2014 at 16:40

    A very thoughtful poem, Jae. I love the feelings expressed in this poem!

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  11. Ann (bunnygirl)5 January 2014 at 19:18

    We are more than the sum of our parts, but it is our nature to look at each part critically and fail to see the bigger picture. It's okay to be a contradiction.

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  12. Anonymous5 January 2014 at 19:44

    I've read this a couple of times. A love poem of gentle exploration that culminates in a scarlet dawn of understanding. Beautifully filled with wonder. Love it Jae,

    Elizabeth

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    1. Jae Rose6 January 2014 at 06:59

      Thank you very much Elizabeth it was nice to take a softer approach..

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  13. Anonymous5 January 2014 at 20:46

    I’m as dumb as nails, the sun is long gone, but I have a pinpoint light, and I’ll be damned if this isn’t one of the most beautiful works “…some spare sky behind her eyes…the sky inside her is brilliant…” Brilliant : )

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    1. Jae Rose6 January 2014 at 07:01

      Miss A you are a bright shining light..we will share the sky with you (we are borrowing it anyways) :) thank you x

      Delete
  14. J Cosmo Newbery6 January 2014 at 01:38

    It's funny how 'odd couples' can last better than 'perfect matches'.

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    1. Jae Rose6 January 2014 at 07:01

      Odd can be good! Thank you J Cosmo glad that's the case..

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  15. flaubert6 January 2014 at 07:32

    Jae, those last four lines, could have been written about me. Lovely poem, really lovely.

    Pamela

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    1. Jae Rose6 January 2014 at 08:48

      Glad you are there Pamela..thank you kindly..

      Delete
  16. Sherry Blue Sky6 January 2014 at 19:10

    So beautiful, Jae Rose, especially "there is some spare sky left behind her eyes", and the sky inside.......your closing lines are perfect. Very lovely writing....a gentle exploration.

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    1. Jae Rose7 January 2014 at 03:21

      Thank you very much Sherry..glad it felt gentle

      Delete
  17. Anonymous7 January 2014 at 02:24

    This started off perfectly, and held me all the way through. Nice!

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    1. Jae Rose7 January 2014 at 03:22

      Comment arrived perfectly thank you miskmask...

      Delete
  18. Pealogic7 January 2014 at 05:18

    It reminded me of sitting at my sons bedside in intensive care. He was in an induced coma for three weeks more or less and elements of your poem express what its like to know there is life, yet no life.

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    1. Jae Rose7 January 2014 at 05:34

      Thank you Pealogic..I think that's exactly so..I can't imagine being the one at the bedside..thank you for sharing and I hope all was well

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  19. Sumana Roy7 January 2014 at 08:07

    there's adulation, exultation..and also disappointment...?

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    1. Jae Rose7 January 2014 at 10:03

      Always disappointment..but that can make you try harder..thank you Sumana

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