Saturday, 25 June 2011

To Give. To Catch

Sound travels behind me. Not in waves. That is too soft. In pebbles. In baskets. They knock me on the back of the head when I stop. The man with no teeth tells me to wipe the hair from my face and I do. He tries to give me seven pence. To help me. I say no. I’m fine. The seven pennies held in his hand jingle like medals. Full of sunshine. It is strange having this guard of misfits watching over me. Speedy Guy keeping crazy neighbour lady off my doorstep. Cashier lady suggesting juice instead. Because it’s hot. Behind the counter man saying haven’t you been here before. I think. I never left. But smile and say have a good day too. I listen for feet at the door. Lay still. In the dark. They are coming. I know. In the kitchen cupboard lays the more certain ways. In the bag at the end of the bed a plan. An act of conjuring. Get back the face. The arm. The people with stunning teeth who used to say I will take you home. Their words come to me. Crossing the door frame. Running from crazy neighbour lady. Standing in line buying the same things that I am running from. And it hits me. In the back of the head. In the back of my heart. In baskets. Pebbles. Not soft. Like waves. Sound catches up with me from behind.
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24 comments:

  1. Unknown25 June 2011 at 08:31

    We all should be so lucky to have a guard of misfits. At times I think they are the most effective. Their intentions are true. Makes me remember that St. Francis of Assisi was the most noted misfit of all, yet his place in history echoes love, acceptance, peace ~ so much that we aspire to be.
    I like the plan. Yes. Get back the face. Get back the arm. Then, smile directly and embrace all of us misfits who help to soften, and perhaps silence, the sound.

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  2. Jae Rose25 June 2011 at 09:04

    Have you seen 'The Fisher King'..I always think of that film..the bungled and the botched..makes me smile..at first you resist and then you realise that that's where the good, soft people are..and that we are all bungled and botched..Jae

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  3. Anonymous25 June 2011 at 09:05

    Jae, I loved the way the story came full circle, back to the baskets, the pebbles, the sound. Nicely captured images. ~Paula

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  4. Susannah25 June 2011 at 10:02

    I love the way the first lines repeat at the end with the addition of "Sound catches up with me from behind.

    As usual there are SO many great lines, packed full of imagery that gets your mind whirring.

    Lines I love include . . "The seven pennies held in his hand jingle like medals."

    and. . . "Standing in line buying the same things that I am running from."

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  5. Jae Rose25 June 2011 at 10:58

    Thank you very much Paula..

    Thank you Susannah..One of the good things of writing in big girls sentences and paragraphs is that you can see where you started ;)

    Jae

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  6. Altonian25 June 2011 at 11:20

    This was like walking through a wood. Paths going off in all directions; and then we find that they all come together in the same spot.
    Intriguing read - as always.

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  7. Anonymous25 June 2011 at 16:35

    How is it that you have such an uncanny view of the dark side of life, and that you can write about it so beautifully?

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  8. Jae Rose26 June 2011 at 02:04

    Thank you Altonian..I am glad we all came out of the woods..

    Thank you 'graceandgratitude'..I am glad you find it that way..

    Jae

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  9. Wendy26 June 2011 at 05:48

    So many dangers here, yet the speaker is strong. One gets the sense that, the sound that hits her at the end is a welcome one...one she welcomes, one she has braced herself for and is ready to hear.

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  10. Linda Jacobs26 June 2011 at 08:18

    Yes, I'm thinking it's the sound of Hello! Besides what everyone else liked, I'm smitten with those mini sentences. Those whiffs of thought made more powerful by isolating them.

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  11. Jae Rose26 June 2011 at 09:32

    Thank you Wendy..hadn't thought of it like that.. :)

    Thank you Linda - whiffs of thought is a great phrase! ..

    Jae

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  12. Forgetfulone26 June 2011 at 10:06

    Very creative. Love the images it conjures. And I like the full circle ending.

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  13. Jae Rose26 June 2011 at 10:24

    Thank you Forgetfulone.. Jae

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  14. Kate26 June 2011 at 14:24

    I am always intrigued by your rhythm and imagery Jae. (and did I ever tell you "I walk with hectic feet to get away"--yours from months ago-- plays through my head at least once a day? So cool.)

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  15. Anonymous26 June 2011 at 14:48

    Your writing reminds me of a Piccasso painting.
    It's fragmented but, each sentence is one part of the whole and, it's a bit like looking at a jigsaw puzzle but, all pieced together the jumble of thought seems to make sense.
    Lovely and very thought provoking, writing.

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  16. Abigail Bunting26 June 2011 at 19:26

    Loved the 'guard of misfits'- we do make a lot of different acquaintances as we go about our daily lives.
    It seems to me that for the narrator, this strange guard is what keeps her going. Her life is a shade brighter because of their little kindnesses.

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  17. Jae Rose27 June 2011 at 05:55

    Hi Kate - I am glad 'hectic feet' is floating around out there..once you spot one pair it seems never ending.. thank you

    Thank you daydreamer..I am glad it makes sense..I think maybe this one is a bit more joined up - physically if nothing else..

    Yes, right again Abigail..you don't need to stare at the sun to see the light..it shines in the strangest places sometimes..

    Jae

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  18. Anonymous27 June 2011 at 11:32

    Sound is definitely a cunning beast, so much so that I want to label it ‘evil’ because I’ve been tricked by it more times than I’d ever tell anyone. And you know being fooled makes a person angry... But I suppose light is the real culprit that we see first but don’t register until we’re hit with the slower thing, the pelting stones of swearword* sound. Sound bears the news of light, bad or good.

    * I hope you appreciate that I sought to keep your website Schutzstffel clean. It was all I could do to hold it back ; )

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  19. glnroz27 June 2011 at 13:35

    ,,I don't see "bungled and botched",,,

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  20. Anonymous27 June 2011 at 22:23

    Jae, again you capture my imagination with your own. The encircling of this poem is perfect, except that the thoughts are disturbing, so it becomes a snake eating its own tail in a way. The sounds are very effective, especially how they become pebbles, in a sense inflicting the writer. I don't know why you are not widely published, Jae. You fascinate me. Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/06/27/who-really-needs-the-shrink/

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  21. Jae Rose28 June 2011 at 04:44

    Dear Miss A allow me - it's a fucking cunt of a world - largely - sound echoes in that lions den..light hits your eyes so you can't reach for the slingshot - but still, it's Tuesday and the sun lights up the computer screen..and the sound of the keys tippety-taps like feet running for a plane or a train..

    Hi Glenn - it's in the film the 'Fisher King'..think its a little bit of Nietzsche - never feel cultured enough to make the reference - see above - I am a navvy of a penman..

    Thank you Amy - I hope not in an annoying way..A snake eating it's tale makes me think of Aeschylus and the symbol for care..a fierce protector...

    Jae

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  22. Anonymous28 June 2011 at 07:24

    Jae,
    I just love this...describing how our thoughts are sometimes experienced through senses and pictures. And I too am very fond of your caring misfits!
    ~Jeanne

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  23. Nara Malone28 June 2011 at 11:53

    I prefer misfit guardians. I love the image of sound travelling as pebbles that knock her on the back of the head when she stops. I like the way you repeat it at the end. It creates a sense of completeness.

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  24. Jae Rose29 June 2011 at 05:14

    Thank you very much Jeanne and Nara.. Jae :)

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