Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Soul Auction

I try to force breath into this cadaver
The air skids off my tongue
Gets to my lips and halts
Gets stuck there right on the tip
Bubbling little specks of drool
What is the word
What word brings back life
I look for it in other bodies
Drag dead muscles around shops with bright lights
Search eyes for any morsel of care
Of love
Hope that a hand will touch my shoulder
Brush the rain from my hair
See me
The thought gave oxygen breath pulse
Now it is dampened down extinguished forgotten held clutched in the corner of the bathroom tucked beside the chest of drawers
just find me just find me
keep the chain on the door no one can get in take the plastic cards leave them on the table lost or found lost and found
Just what thought should I push past my lips bite the world with
Ah. There you see. That is why my kiss never warms the flesh.
There is no anger to defibrillate my heart.
I am not incensed enough to draw breath and shout
I am going I am going I am gone.
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30 comments:

  1. Laurie Kolp18 May 2011 at 04:47

    Wow- a very powerful and emotional piece, Jae Rose...

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  2. Deborah18 May 2011 at 05:41

    Oooh, the first two lines made me smile instantly ... brilliantly written.

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  3. glnroz18 May 2011 at 06:21

    As always,,,never the same...inspiring

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  4. Anonymous18 May 2011 at 06:50

    very powerful and disturbing with its plea for help 'just find me just find me' and the desperate ending.

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  5. Unknown18 May 2011 at 07:08

    Power. That is what I read here, Jae. Creativity, determination, power. You possess a certain brilliance. It will never be going, going, gone.

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  6. Jae Rose18 May 2011 at 07:20

    Thank you Laurie..always good to hear from you..

    Thanks Deborah..would never had used 'skid' without the prompt..

    Thanks Glenn..the J paradox..

    Thank you mangetout..

    Thanks Kim...always good to posess something rather than to be possessed by something I guess..hark at me rambling..much appreciated..let's hope that determination stays..

    Jae

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  7. Anonymous18 May 2011 at 08:21

    This makes me think of the writing process on those bad days when a project, the fruit of my soul, seems hopeless, beyond revival. I'm lucky to have friends who find me and breather life back into my confidence.

    And I bet it makes everyone think of something different, something they've given up on too soon. Good stuff, Jae.

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  8. annell418 May 2011 at 08:46

    I loved the rhythm of this piece...I felt I was there, at the auction of the soul...magic! To imagine this auction, is incredible. I love it. You are a poetry Diva!

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  9. Jae Rose18 May 2011 at 08:58

    Thank you Nara..yes it is like exhaustion and emptiness I guess..but a few friends and a gentle puff of air can move things along..thanks for stopping by..

    Of course you are invited Annell..you can wield the gavel if you like..thank you..

    Jae

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  10. Ramesh Sood18 May 2011 at 09:27

    Your last line pulled me out Jae.. have been there.. what a thinker you are !! Amazing..

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  11. Sheilagh Lee18 May 2011 at 10:36

    Beautifully haunting and expertly wrought. I love this.

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  12. Linda Jacobs18 May 2011 at 11:04

    I love the title! And I like the lack of punctuation; it seems to add to the lost feeling. Exquisite word choices, as usual!

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  13. Jae Rose18 May 2011 at 11:09

    Thank you Ramesh..and am glad you are here..here..here..too

    Thank you Sheilagh..as always

    Thank you Linda..saves any tricky choices between full-stops and semi-colons..never good when you can't even choose between socks or no socks today..

    Jae ;)

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  14. Altonian18 May 2011 at 12:06

    Your last two lines are shuddersomely gripping.
    But there is much about your writing that makes me shudder, the problem is I don't really know why I'm doing it.

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  15. Jess PJ18 May 2011 at 15:18

    Very powerful. Good piece

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  16. Old Egg18 May 2011 at 17:11

    I am going to beat that door down and give you the kiss of life. Don't you dare give up like that.

    This is one of the best so far Jae!

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  17. Jae Rose19 May 2011 at 04:54

    Thanks Altonian..I guess a shudder is better than a full-bodied scream..

    Thanks Jessica..and for stopping by..

    Thank you OldEgg..I won't..have to keep blogging on Wednesdays and Sundays (at the very least)..

    Jae

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  18. lucychili19 May 2011 at 07:50

    i feel this
    powerful

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  19. VL Sheridan19 May 2011 at 08:35

    So much going on here Jae. She wants to be found and touched, but also wants to let the anger out and leave. "There is no anger to defibrillate my heart"-my favorite line this week. Gorgeous.

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  20. Thom Gabrukiewicz19 May 2011 at 09:35

    So much brilliance in this piece.

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  21. Jae Rose19 May 2011 at 11:02

    Thank you Lucy.. :)

    I guess her desire to be comes on and off just like the switch on a defibrillator..maybe for now she's recharging..thinking..thank you VL..

    Thank you very much Thom..it's good blogger is back..I couldn't remember for the life of me what i wrote on your piece last week..other than it was brilliant too probably..

    Jae

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  22. Lilibeth20 May 2011 at 08:52

    I also liked the line about anger defibrillating the heart and there not being enough there to do the job, but the hope for the hand to brush away the rain is more telling.

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  23. Dee Martin20 May 2011 at 15:49

    oh gosh - I am sorry. I was reading this and feeling so serious when the news showed a report about the zombie apocalypse on the cdc webpage and the two things melded together in my brain - you're a zombie Jae!! Buwahahaha :)
    I will go stand in the corner and come back when I can behave...you know I love ya!

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  24. RMP20 May 2011 at 18:27

    I don't think I am in the right mood to be reading this...there's no anger to fill my lungs today.

    beautifully written.

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  25. Jae Rose21 May 2011 at 04:48

    Thank you Lilibeth..the kind hand is definitely more important ;)

    Tsk..zombie relief is always good..zombie apocalypse..now that's right down my bean aisle..thanks Dee..

    I hope something brighter fills your lungs RMP..anger doesn't give you breath for long..you need something steady like OK-ness..thanks for reading

    Jae :)

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  26. Jane Doe21 May 2011 at 23:32

    This is phenomenal. I was enthralled from the first word to the last. I've felt like this so often, it was like you walked into my soul and wrote of my most aching pain. Fantastic!

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  27. Anonymous22 May 2011 at 03:33

    Love it! Very creative use of the words. Brilliant!

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  28. Jae Rose22 May 2011 at 03:39

    Thank you Jane..greatly appreciated..

    Thank you mindlovemisery..

    Jae :)

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  29. LeiffyV22 May 2011 at 17:05

    Hmmm, the death rattles of a life change passing or the rattles of a life end? Then again, when the life changes, it really does end the stage. You've breathed life into it and offered the quandary that everyone faces over and over again. Whatever happens, just keep going and know everyone has faith.

    Great work Jae, as always!

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  30. Jae Rose22 May 2011 at 23:10

    Thanks Leiffy..keeping going is much under-rated..have a good week..Jae

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