Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Jitters and Plans

I stand in the kitchen all jitters and plans.
Cash boxes. Pillow cases. Coat pockets.
No real protection.
In my head it has already been done.
My fingers trace back the dust.
A thin trail of existence.
I am lines of ink.
Nothing more.
I used to hang bells on the door handle. To know when.
Now I think I should hang them from my lips.
It is an uneasy dance with Jesus and Alice.
A stumble and a fall.
Words mixed up.
No swirling cloud of grace.
My breath thumps in my ears. Regretfully. Necessarily.
And I just can’t see where I am.
A pencil echoes in the empty room. Tapping on the paper.
Clickety-click beetle’s leg.
All such a waste you fool.

And the air. It smells funny.
Too real.
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32 comments:

  1. Jerry Walraven4 May 2011 at 04:25

    Love the first two lines the most. They set a nice rhythm for the rest.

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  2. Jae Rose4 May 2011 at 04:28

    Thanks Jerry..like squeezing stones today..felt strange doing something this short! Jae

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  3. Amanda4 May 2011 at 05:11

    I used to hang bells on the door handle. To know when.

    Still do.

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  4. Jae Rose4 May 2011 at 05:29

    :)to you Amanda..

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  5. Laurie Kolp4 May 2011 at 07:02

    Thanks for awakening my senses with this spectacular piece, Jaerose!

    ~laurie

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  6. Unknown4 May 2011 at 07:06

    Ah, yes, the familiar sensation of mixed-up words and no grace to be found. So discomforting!

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  7. Jae Rose4 May 2011 at 07:10

    Thanks very much Laurie..

    Thanks Kim..it can spin your head around that's for sure..

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  8. Andy Sewina4 May 2011 at 08:06

    Love the way your fingers trace back the dust!

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  9. Jae Rose4 May 2011 at 08:49

    Thanks Andy..like a crime scene..

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  10. Ramesh Sood4 May 2011 at 09:02

    A pencil echoes in the empty room. Tapping on the paper..

    Wow Jae.. how do you write such beautiful poetry... oh, tell me please..

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  11. Jae Rose4 May 2011 at 09:11

    Cough syrup and a temperature brought this one out! Thank you Ramesh ;)

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  12. Sheilagh Lee4 May 2011 at 10:10

    truly beautiful poetry and such a story it tells

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  13. Anonymous4 May 2011 at 10:36

    Jae, I KNEW when I saw the 3WW prompt including the word "jitter" that you would rise to the challenge with an edgy offering. True to form, you did just that. Amy
    ...and one I think you'll dig:
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/05/04/precipice/

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  14. VL Sheridan4 May 2011 at 12:45

    "In my head it has already been done."
    There are so many unanswered questions in this piece; what's all ready been done? There's a wonderful transparancy between reality and surreality. "And the air. It smells funny.
    Too real." The narrator is still with us. But for how long? Excellant work, as always, Jae.

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  15. Grandma's Goulash4 May 2011 at 13:48

    My favorite line:
    "Now I think I should hang them from my lips."


    This work evoked Ecclesiastes for me - "all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

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  16. Old Egg4 May 2011 at 16:26

    On first reading I thought she was breaking in and robbing a shop. Your work evokes so many tantalising and confused images that it becomes all things for all men(and women).

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  17. Jeff4 May 2011 at 16:42

    Dark beauty. I can't describe the emotions I feel reading this one, Jae. Jittery comes close. Thanks for letting us join your uneasy dance.

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  18. LeiffyV4 May 2011 at 17:07

    Wow... This is not your usual piece and this is good! I like it! The tight, compact workings means more punch with less time to relax. The bells rang on this one for certain. Another great piece, Jae!

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  19. Ren4 May 2011 at 17:32

    Again with the wonderful imagery!
    You blow me away :)

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  20. Susannah5 May 2011 at 00:49

    I love this jaerose! And so many pieces of it could stand alone and still be powerful.

    My fingers trace back the dust.
    A thin trail of existence.
    I am lines of ink.
    Nothing more.

    Wonderful writing! :-)

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  21. Anonymous5 May 2011 at 02:56

    Arresting imgaes throughout, from the traced dust to the doorknob bells. Marvelous work.

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  22. Jae Rose5 May 2011 at 04:30

    Thank you Sheilagh..

    Thanks Amy - jittery j - did ring a bell..you know me well!

    Thanks VL - hopefully for a little while longer..got to keep figuring out what's real..much appreciate your kind words..

    Thank you Grandma..I shall try to find that reference..

    Thanks OldEgg - for thinking she's resourceful enough to have a plan that big..a bank would be even better..lovely to hear from you as always..

    Thank you Nico..always a pleasure to share that uneasy dance..

    Thanks Leiffy..it was different wasn't it..kept thinking must fill it out a bit more but settled on short and ring-y..glad you liked..

    Thanks very much Ren..

    Thanks Susannah..very kind..

    Thanks rlavalette - good to see you..

    Jae

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  23. Linda Jacobs5 May 2011 at 05:04

    "I am lines of ink" spoke to me the most. Sometimes I feel that's all I am, too.

    I like the short bursts of thoughts.

    So much to think about here. Masterful!

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  24. Jae Rose5 May 2011 at 05:08

    Thank you Linda..short bursts are good!

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  25. Altonian5 May 2011 at 09:22

    So much to think about, and so few clues as to WHAT we should be thinking. You are a tantalizer, Jae, but a truly literary one.

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  26. glnroz5 May 2011 at 09:41

    i am late gettting around to my "checking" on you. I think we all have days like this..

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  27. Anonymous5 May 2011 at 12:10

    I read this again and realized how much our two poems had in common this week, so here is a "breath mint" to take your mind off it! Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/05/05/lindy-hoppers-3ww/

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  28. The Rusty Pen5 May 2011 at 15:57

    Loved the beginning lines and how the rest blended into what? I am lost in this poem trying to think my way out of it. How do you do this? I love it!

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  29. Jae Rose6 May 2011 at 05:32

    Thanks Altonian..never been called 'literary' before..much appreciated..the other, guilty as charged..although in my defence..I don't know exactly what either..

    Just glad to see you Glenn..thank you

    Yes, they did didn't they - thanks for the breath-mint Amy..shall go over and enjoy in a few clicks...

    Sorry to spin you in circles Rusty Pen..glad you still liked it!

    Jae

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  30. PJD6 May 2011 at 09:00

    I'm not sure this is what you were after, but I see a woman ready to leave an abusive relationship, suffering writer's block while writing her "Dear John" note. The uneasy dance between Jesus and Alice, bells on the doorhandle, falls and regret, time foolishly wasted. Very dramatic picture, drawn in stark, clear lines. Strong.

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  31. Dee Martin6 May 2011 at 18:09

    this piece leaves me jittery - the staccato short lines, the imagery, a day when you don't feel right in your skin when you can feel change coming but can't decide if it will be good or not.

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  32. Jae Rose7 May 2011 at 04:53

    Thanks Peter - yes, in a way I think that is a very accurate description..greatly appreciate your comment..

    Thanks Dee - absolutely..one of those days when things don't fit..when you're trying to decide..much appreciate your insight..

    Jae

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