Graphs and charts
Beautiful straight lines
Spots of colour between despair and getting by
Flip the numbers score your self
There is no figure to measure to say
I no longer have texture
I can no longer chew through myself
I am a mathematical plane I do not understand
Have no reason to understand
Have no desire to claim back
My arms my face my neck
They are my depth and texture
They are the graphs and charts
They stay tucked in my sleeves
Rammed in my pockets
Despaired
Ignored
Knocked bruised and buried
A death-barrel roll with no resolution
No surrender
No flames just heat
Lack of breath but no rest
Pains aches and black veins
Chaotic nests of waste years and emptiness
No one holds my arms
Holds me in their arms
I am as cold as a line on a mathematical plane
An equation abandoned on a page
A solution must be there
All numbers have resolution
But I am untouchable
An equation abandoned on a page
As cold as a line on a mathematical plane
Beautiful response to prompt. Surrender is a hard one for sure. For me, surrender = death. I also thought of "0" in the equation, of possibilities. Starting from nothing, everything is possible. And your line "no one holds my arms, holds me in their arms...I hope you get that kitty, and love him to death. Holding him in your arms. I think he waits for you. This isn't really a cheerful piece, but a beautiful stark piece....the line on a mathematical plane. I think minimal, cut to the bone. No bells or trim, you turn yourself wrong side out. What a wonderful writer you are.
ReplyDeleteLovely poem Jae. Surrender is indeed very difficult as it is in many ways submission. Submission of thoughts, destruction of prejudices and acceptance of reality.
ReplyDeleteKeep writing.
'But I am untouchable
ReplyDeleteAn equation abandoned on a page
As cold as a line on a mathematical plane'
Sometimes we sanitize the world and ourselves. It's hard to allow ourselves to surrender to the rollercoaster of feelings.
Thank you Annell - maybe equations reach balance not solution..i wait in hope for the arrival of a stray kitty.. thank you :)
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Shail..accepting reality is very hard..hadn't thought of it as part of 'surrender'..
Isn't it just a rollercoaster - thank you Abigail..all those loops and swirls of emotion are hard to consider at times..look forward to reading your piece..
The cadence and imagery in this is perfectly suited to the theme. Mathematical planes, abandoned equations- confounding to me, yet so sterile and subtly violent. Tons to think about here as always, Jae.
ReplyDeleteDear Jae,
ReplyDeleteYou are the master of metaphor. As is often the case with your skilled writing, you utilize a concept and it's vernacular to tell a completely different story. So very well done.
Jae,
ReplyDeleteSad it is when we get to that point.
But, until the last
Surrender...
There is always hope.
rel
there is passion here!!
ReplyDeleteWow, surrender indeed! Lots of burbling violence against the sterile surface, like something ancient and primal roiling against the false profit veneer. Way to tap into that stream of consciousness! Another great piece, Jae!
ReplyDeleteI wondered how you'd get 'surrender' in. Such a description of separation. You do pain well.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful piece. I especially like "I am as cold as a line on a mathematical plane" and the repition of it.
ReplyDeleteI felt that death barrel roll, being knocked bruised and buried. Graphs and charts bring no comfort for me for an entirely different reason.
ReplyDeleteFor all our hope that resolution is possible you blithely tell us your character is untouchable, an equation abandoned on the page.
I took a look at your very early postings and they pleased me no end. When are we going to see that J again?
Sometimes we find pieces of ourselves in other people's writings but it's very rare to find the entire puzzle. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this jae. :-)
ReplyDeleteI especially liked - "Spots of colour between despair and getting by"
That's a beautifully expressed emotion you have there Jae. I could feel her sadness through these words, the sadness of being a plain mathematical line.
ReplyDeleteLovely write up, as always!
Thank you Kate - as subtle as a top heavy fraction...
ReplyDeleteThanks very much Kim - i think it's the first time I've tried maths...
Lets' hope so Rel..thank you
Thanks Sandra..
Thanks Leiffy..'false prophet veneer'..great phrase..maybe it's because I'm reading Ben Zion's story at the moment!
Thanks Grace - you've got to be good at something I guess!
Thanks Laurie..
Thank you OldEgg..me neither really..I will have to go back..always makes me cringe..is it a nose dive from start to finish? will have to take a look..
Glad you were able to take something from it Amanda..always welcome to..
Thank you Susannah..like the lovely red heart in your profile pic..
Thank you very much Warm Sunshine..
Jae
Wonderfully expressed, all the way through, as always - but being a 'glass-half-full' type myself, I am finding it difficult to come up with something intelligent to say in the face of such unrelenting despair.
ReplyDeleteWell, whether your glass is half empty or half full there's still something in it to drink (hopefully chilled and of the beer variety) so 'cheers' - for keeping reading and always looking for a bright spot..Jae
ReplyDelete2+2=4,,, that is always the case,,,the same with your writing,,,there is no error,,, the same with the author,,,true as 2+2.
ReplyDeletegod love your unswerving belief in J's balance! Thank you Glenn..
ReplyDeleteI love all your words, but for me, this really gets so good I could bite it from death-barrel roll on down. So in words it does what it says: it spirals flaming into the killer last line. In all your writings, you are very good at bringing it all round at the ends. Stunning, high-impact ends. Scrumptious!
ReplyDeleteThanks Zanzinece - what a turbo-charged comment..fantastic! Jae
ReplyDelete