Saturday, 10 March 2018

Murk

We write poems on balsa wood
Pencil glides like waves
Sleek and stormy
Our head hits the bottom of the wire
Cuts into our thoughts
Breaks the silence
Like a draft
We feel guilty
Lack manners
All is murky
Like birds with clipped wings
Charging into stars
We sink in the sand
Marred by gifts
Syllables and lines
Things made to cut the frayed and fried time.

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50 comments:

  1. Old Egg10 March 2018 at 03:02

    What some interesting metaphors you used here Jae, with none better than the end line "Things made to cut the frayed and fried time".

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  2. annell410 March 2018 at 09:28

    Yes, I loved that "fried time." Hope each minute is rich as "fried ice cream!"

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  3. Sherry Blue Sky10 March 2018 at 10:46

    I love the birds with clipped wings charging into stars. That is pretty cool. Yes, a very powerful closing line. Happy weekend, kiddo!

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    1. Jae Rose11 March 2018 at 04:42

      Thanks Sherry and a happy weekend back to you!

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  4. Sanaa Rizvi11 March 2018 at 00:44

    Like birds with clipped wings
    Charging into stars
    We sink in the sand

    This is gorgeous!!💞

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  5. Anonymous11 March 2018 at 01:23

    such a lovely poem, Jae :)

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  6. Anonymous11 March 2018 at 05:07

    Our head hits the bottom of the wire
    Cuts into our thoughts
    Breaks the silence... that is terrific imagery!

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  7. Brendan11 March 2018 at 05:14

    Isn't all language a conversation, and all poetry a love song sung blue? This is a wonderful assay on the earnestness and futility of getting the words right.

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  8. Donna11 March 2018 at 05:38

    This is thought provoking and stark, real, as many times we fight to find the words to express ourselves....and when we don't it feels like a sinking in the sand.

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  9. Mary11 March 2018 at 05:41

    There are indeed times when all is murky, and we wonder when things will change. The expression 'fried time' says so much!

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  10. Rommy11 March 2018 at 06:42

    And yet, even if we are birds with clipped wings, we will still keep trying to fly, to release our words into the world, no matter how murky it gets.

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  11. Neeraj Khanka11 March 2018 at 08:13

    "birds with clipped wings, charging into stars ..sinking in the sand"
    And yes, they will rise again with all the strength.
    Enjoyed your write.

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  12. Sherri B.11 March 2018 at 08:38

    Oh, I loved this! Every line is beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

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  13. dsnake111 March 2018 at 08:48

    "Like birds with clipped wings
    Charging into stars
    We sink in the sand"
    oh, these are so memorable lines.
    i was thinking about the toy planes we made out of balsa wood when we were kids. nice idea to write poems on them and see where they glide to. :)

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  14. revelations11 March 2018 at 08:50

    very bold words and phrases that promote thought and imagery...

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  15. Jae Rose11 March 2018 at 08:51

    Love the musicality in this, Jae - it reads so well and carries a freshness of vision as it sings along... Great! - Scott Hastie

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  16. brudberg11 March 2018 at 09:42

    The thought of writing poem into rafts like that... it's like a journey really

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  17. Gillena Cox11 March 2018 at 09:48

    So true our gift of poetry can never tell all the tales we hold in subconscious selves. Happy Sunday Jae

    "Marred by gifts
    Syllables and lines"

    much love...

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  18. Anonymous11 March 2018 at 10:22

    great and emotionally dynamic..

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  19. colleen11 March 2018 at 14:59

    I like when pencils glide like waves. Lots of poems about "time" today, including yours and mine.

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    1. Jae Rose12 March 2018 at 00:39

      Glad we crossed thoughts - thank you Colleen

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  20. Rosemary Nissen-Wade11 March 2018 at 15:14

    Powerful images, as always. I'm particularly struck by "Like birds with clipped wings /
    Charging into stars".

    My Dad made my little brother a balsa wood boat, long long ago (my brother called it The Star) – so my first thought was that these poems will float!

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    Replies
    1. Jae Rose12 March 2018 at 00:40

      What a great association - thank you Rosemary

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  21. Susie Clevenger11 March 2018 at 15:30

    I love the whole thing, but your opening really captured me.
    We write poems on balsa wood Pencil glides like waves Sleek and stormy"

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  22. ZQ11 March 2018 at 17:52

    You're a Bono-Fide poet : )
    ZQ

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  23. Wendy Bourke11 March 2018 at 18:58

    Fantastic - and perfect - title capping incredible images in a well drawn piece.

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  24. Ann (bunnygirl)11 March 2018 at 21:55

    Time is never what we think it is.

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  25. Colonialist12 March 2018 at 14:46

    Cutting frayed and fried time does appeal to me.

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