Cripple blood
Sensation
Electric fire
Diamonds bursting in the cake
Everything alive
But me
Two black coats hanging in the hall
Unworn
Says Alice
Before the sparkle fades and falls
Someone lost in the walls
You hurt me
By tea time they will carry on
Give it another go
Not a gingerbread cottage and candy
I don’t remember
Black or powder
And so we must start again she squeals
Remember
Like sugar
Are we going up or down
One glass
One can
Fourteen more
Weeping porridge from my hair
Almost
Almost
A hundred little pretties delivered in the black box
Maybe it was all a story
Then
No one answers back.
"Your loss seems a thousand lives away . . . . Maybe it was all a story . . ." Yet everything is: "Never Just one day dead." I like the link of the spin with both story and washing machines. I like that the preferred jelly beans are black and that there may be time to eat before all the sparkle is gone. And, of course, that we have the stability of returning characters.
ReplyDeleteThank you Susan...yes I guess Alice is a dysfunctional kind of stability - I like that thought...thank you very much - nice to do a spin not a whirl!
DeleteIt's all just a story and we must take comfort where we find it.
ReplyDeleteIt's all a story and we must take comfort where we find it.
ReplyDeleteYes..thank you Ann - dream up a bed that's safe and sound....and where tomorrow is welcome
DeleteI find the 'tea time' in any story the most comforting, and about that cripple blood...we all have it at more or less extent.. :)x
ReplyDeleteTea time is certainly good thank you humbird..yes we all have a litle of that blood I guess..thank you
DeleteYour loss seems a thousand lives away . . . . Maybe it was all a story sometimes you have to think that way to go on and move on with your life leave the past and all the hurts and wounds behind and be happy.
ReplyDeleteI think that is very wise Sheilagh..and true...thank you kindly
Deletethe first few lines had the same beat of the poem "Congo" which is one of the poems I like.
ReplyDeletethe last part seem to be you are in the dead end - too much chaos but nothing can be heard of.
My favorite is
"I think I would like a mummy and a daddy
Not a gingerbread cottage and candy"
I found it to be poignant and the voice seems longing to be alive....
Thank you for your insightful comment a Totomai...exactly so on both counts...
DeleteYou have a tight sequence of words that are spinning around in this poem, Jae Rose. Very involved bit of hide and seek. Hiding or seeking death???
ReplyDeleteI think the problem is I am never quite sure - thank you Moonie
DeleteDiamonds bursting in the cake, if crunched down upon, would give one quite a toothache. (It pains me even to imagine such crunching!)
ReplyDeleteBut you could fill the holes with diamonds! Shall we stick to a lemon drizzle..thank you Magical!
DeleteSo vivid... I really enjoy your Alice poems, Jae.
ReplyDeleteThank you kindly Laurie - she seems reluctant to leave at present!
DeleteJae I like your tales of eerie, fairy tale goth. I can feel a bit of Poe in this one... I used to read the likes when I was younger. Happy Halloween!!!
ReplyDeleteWell I see lots of crows on my walks so maybe Poe lingers in the walls too...thank you James...happy Halloween back!
DeleteJae, how you have captured the eery Halloweeny feeling - The line that stands out "Your loss seems a thousand lives away." "Weeping porridge from my hair" is an amazing line, as are your closing lines. An amazing write. But then, your poems always are.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sherry - so kind...yes the porridge line crept in and became visible and like at some point it was or will become real...thank you..as always
DeleteI can just imagine you falling, spinning and conversing with Alice as this tale is told until bump you reach the bottom and Alice is not there anymore only harsh reality. You are a master of this genre Jae.
ReplyDeleteThud! Yep...that's going to happen isn't it...but maybe that's when really being begins also...thank you Old Egg..and for the parachute I am sure you have at hand
DeleteI feel those hollow walls entirely too much today.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry (other) Alice...we will plug the walls with candy floss and share some nice Victoria Sponge with you :)
DeleteThis sounds a bit lonely. I'm ignoring any voices in my walls...they are just tricksters:)
ReplyDeleteWise choice Rallentanda..tricksters abide inside and outside the walls...and on that cheery note! ;)
DeleteAlice seems to there but not there. That puts a lot of mystery around it. Great lines Jae!
ReplyDeleteHank
Thanks Hank...mystery of the mischievous kind!
DeleteI was fine until I got to the weeping porridge...
ReplyDeleteMe too - thanks J Cosmo...
DeleteYes, the voices are in the wall. They are usually the kids up way to early echoing through the vents.
ReplyDeleteThanks GL - that may be a happier noise in the walls for sure
Deletedreams and reality well mixed...!
ReplyDeleteThank you Sandra
DeleteYou have really written a wonderful Halloween tale. Someone lost in the walls reminds me of an old Edgar Alan Poe tale - the Telltale Heart. And then to whisper in the walls and have no one answer back -- frightening indeed.
ReplyDeleteThank you kindly Mary...I shall seek out the Poe story
DeleteThe mystical, the magical and the profound.
ReplyDeleteThank you Roslyn...what a lovely comment
DeleteAbout the story of our lives, we have to tell it to ourselves over and over, until we can find the right words. The words that we can acccept, perhaps that is part of the power of writing...finding the right words, and when found, we find we can fold the story away, and it has no power anymore. One day we are able to say," oh yeah, and that happened...."Alice knows and she is waiting for you. Yes, I think you have a bit of Poe in you, teller of Halloween tales around the fire, and we can get caught up in them, and they can be scary. Your tales are the best!
ReplyDeleteThank you so Annell she is trying to help me find the best words isn't she...Happy All Hallows eve x
Deleteooh..that's a scary tale there Jae..it echoes the halloween perfectly..
ReplyDeleteThank you Ararthi! We can be spooky ;)
Delete