Pay on Exit
Is what it says
On the sign
At the Multi-Storey
I smile
I have already paid
They stole my world
Two times over
There was no change
I throw my heart
In the bush
In the hope
That someone kind
Will find it
Keep it safe
And whisper
Magic words
To fill me up
Inside
The next place
The next bed
I am stepping
Out of
The
Bell
Jar
Only for a minute
Mind
Enough time
To wipe away
The stain
Of this bad place
These bad people
I look up
See the stars
The sisters
The planes
Feel the cold joy of
Movement
I am alive
Outside the fences
Whilst in the fences
I exist on the other side
Of the Mirror
Thriving in my own dimension
They hate that
They have no dreams
No intrigue
Dull as used paving
Paving that I will take
An axe to
And bury
I leave with no answers
I am the answer
That I already knew
The cold
The pure silver
Of the sky
Makes me shiver with possibility
They hate that
They hate that
I
Am
More
I have paid my time
But never traded in my soul
Lift up your eyes Alice
Soon we will be home
Where we will live
In our garden of
Simple beauty and
Quietness
All that we want
All that we need
More
Than they will ever know.
Each week your words tug at me from some under place. I don't know if that makes sense, but I love the journey through emotion that you weave.
ReplyDeleteI set aside time this morning to read your last few poems .. Blossom, Disgust, Shoot Out, Wanting, Fear Is Not In Silver .... fascinating, spell-binding ~ I feel like an intruder (privileged) to read your words .............
ReplyDeleteSo lovely and hopeful! I think we must to through this many times over, in many different contexts. There is always someone trying to bottle us up in one way or another and feed us their version of the truth, as if we didn't have our own truth. It's good to be able to get away.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully done, Jae! I love it. Seems to come from the center of the sun dial or hour glass....or the Bell Jar. Just a wonderful poem! You have been to the bad place, and you know...tomorrow will be better.
ReplyDeleteYes I can relate to the hate. There is a deep resentment of having that ability to taste the silver in the sky and the excitement of an interior imaginative world living on the other side of the mirror.Even if you learn to keep it a secret they somehow know anyway.
ReplyDeleteYou probably twigged to this well before this but could not tell anyone because you thought people would think you were crazy.Well now you know for sure.
Simplicity and quiet is golden and something for you to look forward to.Everything in comparison to what you have suffered for months now , will be wonderful. A cup of tea in a clean blue cup and saucer will inspire magical verse. Hang in there jaerose and may you get out of there soon
A thoughtful poem....
ReplyDeletereading the menu in the clouds outside
You strike at the bars with hope and then share it all with us. Thank you,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
This piece is one of the most beautiful that you have ever written. To say more would be just a waste of words. I am so impressed.
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDelete"I have paid my time/ But never traded in my soul" Wonderful! Powerful!
ReplyDeleteHopeful. Yes!
ReplyDeleteThank you all - landed with a rather nasty bump in a place which seems even grimmer..how can that be possible wonders Alice (and J who is slowly disappearing).. :(
ReplyDeleteappropriate name - you ARE more. More than all of this. Your more spills all over the page and slips across the ocean and wraps around all of us :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so Dee.. x
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