I wipe lavender
Through my hair
Expecting it to
Blossom
Except I know
It won’t
It never will
I am in cement boots
Chained to the end
Of this story
I have never wanted to
I have never wanted to
So much
Except I know I know
I won’t
I never will
I am in cement boots
Chained to the end
Of this story
I sit in a room
Where my life is written
Where I feel nothing
More dead
Than the death they thought I created
I shouldn’t have
Let
The wolf through
The door
I shouldn’t have let
Anyone through
The door
Now I am nothing
I have no place
All I think of is the
Powder slippers
My redemption
My peace
The blossom of my flower
You chew my name
Like dead leaves
Spit it out
Into an end
I have to play
Over and fucking over
I cannot wait
I cannot wait
To
Be
Gone
I wipe lavender
Through my hair
Expecting it to
Blossom
Except I know
It won’t
It never will
I am in cement boots
Chained to the end
Of this story.
You have captured both beautiful and tortuous imagery in this piece Jae. Curiously those cement boots may slow you down but with a will can make you stronger.
ReplyDeleteMaybe so..hadn't thought of it that way..thanks OldEgg..
DeleteYou so vividly convey the anguish of "imprisonment". The chains are loosening even now. Soon you will be more free. Soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kim..yes..soon.. x
DeleteA little more freedom is coming, though. Small blessings.
ReplyDeleteI do so hope..a big blessing perhaps..thanks Ann
DeleteMy sister planted a lavendar plant for me, it died right away? I wonder...did it have anything to do with the cement boots? Maybe it was sick when I got it....it is still in my garden, hopeing for a come back.
ReplyDelete