Sunday, 29 September 2013

Inflammatory Response

Their power swarms
Unbidden
Around the edges
Of my existence
Frayed
Afraid
There is no place
Left to gather
To hide
To worship
Where are we
She asks
And asks
I do not know
I do not know
Like the blue ghost
At the altar
I float through life
And death
Alone
Watched through glass
Unloved
Unforgiven
A sickness so deep
I cannot sit still
I read the world
To stop the world
Thank you trees
For a place to kiss
They are so very pretty
The sharp little kisses
Red hot on flesh
The inflammatory response
Kicks in
(Again)
It really is an exact science
Falling
Warning
Steep drop
Dropping
No fucking kidding
No hillside to jump from
No water to drown in
Patches of mud
An endless path
Brown paper arrows
Worn down by shoes and feet
So tired
50’s and a metal tin
Sweet spilling out into
Pockets and tissues

All so very easy to go back
All so very hard to get back

There is no anchor to pin this to
Dress maker tacks
For a skirt I will never wear

Ah. But they do not tear my flesh
Not like the teeth of time
Chewed
Spat
Buried
Wasted

I want my time back
The theft hurts
Red hot

The piercer calls me sweetie
He wears a black hat
His voice is like the Cheshire Cat
Smiling
He fuck
Fuck
Fucks
With my head

For he shatters the doors of bronze, and cuts in two the bars of iron.

You have to have a tin
To bake the powder in
I create a little box
Which is the world
And ends the world

We are where we are I tell her
She shivers and spits the spare sweet off her gums
It rests bitter on her finger tips
On top of the stale blackberry juice
Prison is prison
Shh
Lie still
Close your head

We will never get home
Or rest in the red bed
It is not ours any more
I will tell you
I will tell you when it is time for this to end

Shh
Close your eyes
We are falling.


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28 comments:

  1. Unknown29 September 2013 at 05:02

    Dear Jae,
    Your despair is so very clear here. I wish I could illustrate the path of health to freedom, and draw you well on the way. If it were only that simple. I wish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose29 September 2013 at 10:16

      I wish too..maybe I can make a path with colours in the little red book..thank you Kim..

      Delete
  2. Anonymous29 September 2013 at 05:03

    Reading this I had a sense of falling. Maybe the feeling came from the way you've written it down the page. Powerful piece.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose29 September 2013 at 10:16

      Thank you Sabra..words falling down a mountain top..maybe so..better for words to fall than other things..

      Delete
  3. Old Egg29 September 2013 at 05:27

    You have to pacify that swarm of wasps that are ruining your life, calm them down and they may be easier to deal with. This piece is written in such pain the reader feels every word.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose29 September 2013 at 10:18

      Steam..easy with wasps..unfortunately the health care system isn't as easily fended off...bugger..thank you Old Egg..

      Delete
  4. Laurie Kolp29 September 2013 at 05:40

    Oh, Jae...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Stan Ski29 September 2013 at 08:01

    I hear you...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous29 September 2013 at 08:38

    The interaction between people in this piece is intense. "We are where we are..." Yes we are. Strong piece, Jae.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose29 September 2013 at 10:19

      If only they were actual people..then maybe things would change..thank you undercaws..

      Delete
  7. Berowne29 September 2013 at 11:07

    Powerfully piercing...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous29 September 2013 at 11:13

    I am wishing you dragon wings and a good strong wind at your back. Fly to the crystal cave and breathe in all of the colors until you are filled with them.

    Elizabeth

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose30 September 2013 at 05:47

      I shall look for that dragon..thank you Elizabeth..

      Delete
  9. daphnepurpus29 September 2013 at 13:14

    Powerful, with a strong sense of falling. Very intense.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Veronica Roth29 September 2013 at 14:44

    It all makes perfect sense. Really enjoyed it. Nicely whirled.

    ReplyDelete
  11. rallentanda29 September 2013 at 18:55

    Try to be deferential to the piercer. Positions of power demand deference. That is why
    people strive to attain these positions. No point in them unless you can wield power of life or death. You are living in a Kafka novel at the moment. When you get out it is strictly blue teacups and strawberries for you from now on ...sewing a fine seam is looking good. If you find a quiet corner practise a little smile to yourself...dont' let anyone see otherwise they wont think you are suffering enough! Sorry to sound so bitter but I do know how these things work! Hang in there gorgeous...if you want to get out play the game...tell them what they want to hear so they can tick the right boxes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose30 September 2013 at 05:50

      Thank you Rallentanda..it is exactly that - playing the game - sadness stops you holding the flamingoes and batting the croquet balls...i shall find a fence and compose myself..keep up the good fight out of here..they may have power but they have no authority..

      Delete
  12. Ann (bunnygirl)29 September 2013 at 22:23

    Wherever you are, at least you are still in the world and therefore have a chance at becoming grounded. They will become bored with you eventually. I hope.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose30 September 2013 at 05:51

      You would think - I am bored with me..but then i know me..they have yet to even remember my name..maybe by then..sigh..thanks Ann..

      Delete
  13. annell41 October 2013 at 05:55

    Dear Sweet Jae...how I wish, that your story will change, and it will,.... sometimes not the way we want. Stay strong little one....remember who you are, and tell your story....xoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose1 October 2013 at 11:20

      Thank you Annell..will always try to..sometimes it's not what 'people' want to hear..but i can't tell the story that will get me out.. x

      Delete
  14. flaubert4 October 2013 at 19:03

    Hang in there, Jae Rose. It is always about the man. Remember that.

    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose5 October 2013 at 11:50

      Thank you Pamela..man is easier to fell than woman so there's hope ;)

      Delete

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