Close your eyes Alice
We are not home
However hard we try
The crazy lady screams
I wish you were dead
(again)
All of this is
(again)
We stumble
Tumble
Into another room
Twelve
This time
Like the disciples
I am like Thomas
I certainly will not stand up
Follow
Hollow
Obediently
We are stuck in the attic
There are windows to a sky
We cannot reach
No clouds to cling on to
It is no blunder
Each room
Kills us
Methodically
Clinically
So we don’t care
Who wishes us dead
Because we are already
Dead
We don’t cringe
At the talking girls black finger nails
Her smell
Rancid
She touches the fruit
And leaves her teeth
On the table
There is no point in crying
No point in screaming
We will never get home
Home is not our reality any more
It is a mere digression in time and space
We hide the plastic bed clothes
Wrap our empty dreams up carefully
In fabric which smells
Strange
Like people have been here
But not been people
I whisper to Alice
Run
Leave me
I am nothing but a shell
I cannot give you jam or tea
I cannot give you anything
But she does not move
Her hair drops out
In my lap
I try to comfort her
She will not let me put her pretty little shoes
On
Her bare cold feet
We will die here together
That is how it is
That is how it was always meant to be
The red bed will never be ours
We will never rest
We will never
Be
Again.
find the body take it back and find you're way back to Alice. You will be together and happy. hugs
ReplyDeletei hope..thank you Sheilagh..
DeleteI don't dare close my eyes. Not with the room around.
ReplyDeleteI don't dare close my eyes. Not with the room around.
ReplyDeleteUs neither..good to see you though (other) Alice..
DeleteI missed you.
DeleteAgain. We feel the sameness of another new, yet the same, place. But this IS different. This IS leading toward home. Safely. Hang on, little loves. Hang on.
ReplyDeleteI do so hope..thank you Kim..
DeleteI would like to think that these places you and Alice find yourself in are not meant to be too easy otherwise there is no incentive to get home. The secret is to find the yellow brick road and keep to that.
ReplyDeleteDidn't Dorothy only get home after the road was smashed and she had to find her own way back..i would settle for discharge papers and a train ticket..but they seem harder to come by than wizards.. thanks OldEgg..
DeleteBaby steps. Think how far away even this step seemed a few months ago. A few months from now, perhaps you'll finally be home, plotting how to make sure no one does this to you again.
ReplyDeleteI really hope so..seem to have shuffled back more than forwards..one day one day.. thank you Ann
DeleteTo never rest again is a rather desperate state to be in!
ReplyDeleteOld Man and Rice
It is indeed desperate..thank you Magical..
Deleteoh my goodness.. poerful words though they seem to convey a sadness... which is strong ... :(
ReplyDeleteIt will be ok..j always escapes..thank you Anya..
DeleteIt does sound very desperate.Do whatever you have to do to get those discharge papers.I hope you are mentally writing a book about these last months.It is going to be a best seller and an exposee!You have to get out of there Jae. Do everything that is expected of you. Be smart!
ReplyDeleteThank you Rallentanda..but not a smart arse! I wish to write a book about kittens and rainbows..fuck mental health it's all bullshit..smartly i keep that view amongst friends.. ;)
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