Saturday, 2 July 2011
Without a Hitch
It goes without a hitch. Peeling the lid off the fifth vanilla yoghurt. Until it makes you gag. Buy two more tomorrow. Fold the laundry until the crying stops. Lift the toothbrush to your mouth. The two handed brush because it’s too heavy for one hand. You know. When you look at yourself. There can’t be many more days. But it’s seamless. The seven day shuffle. The thirty year pause. I suck the neckline of my shirt. Taste the wastage. The wreckage. Get dressed. Sit in the waiting room. Look at the poster. Care fit enough for my family. Hold the water bottle in my hand. Maybe this afternoon. The plastic tub by the three boxes of cereal. The waffle squares that come up quicker than they go down. I think about belonging. Belonging to a house. A home. I smile at the rocking man. It’s always the same faces. We are the beige walls. The poster ink has more shine than us. We know. We always know. Nobody would take us home. Yoghurt by yoghurt. There is no place left to find. I think about this. In the toilet with the window in the roof. The place where I think it would be nice to deploy the black bag. It sinks in. With every inhalation of stale piss and dirty floors. With every door not closed properly. That nobody sees me any more. And I go on. Without a hitch.
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I see you. And I see your wonder and beauty, too.
ReplyDeleteI see you, you beautiful one you! Without a Hitch... I love you, and each word you write.
ReplyDeleteThank you both..strange..I was just about to click on my hotmail log-in to email and there were both your happy faces..I know..it's not you Christopher Robin...Jae ;)
ReplyDeletei see you. i think this feeling happens a lot to older folks. strange society.
ReplyDeleteOuch! Lots of emotion there.
ReplyDeleteFeeling invisible, unheard, it's very lonely there.
ReplyDeleteBeige people, against beige walls, Hmmm! No wonder you didn't like my reference to beige the other week.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lucy..yes, anyone that doesn't quite fit becomes invisible..
ReplyDeleteThanks J Cosmo - and for following ;)
Thanks Christine..
Nothing against beige in the right hands Altonian!
Jae
"It’s always the same faces. We are the beige walls. The poster ink has more shine than us."
ReplyDeleteWonderfully evocative writing as always Jae. :-)
Thank you Susannah
ReplyDeleteHello Jae I see you are still flogging that not quite dead horse. My perception is that even the black bags, the vomit and the stale piss are somewhat comforting when there is not a lot else. I like to find beauty in everything and I can see you do too but we do it in different ways. Never think that you will not be seen against the beige wall background, you stand out proud.
ReplyDeleteYou show so much without saying. The two-handed toothbrush particularly spoke to me. Imagine something so light feeling so heavy and difficult...Such a powerful poem, yet so lonely.
ReplyDeleteOldEgg - so good to see you again..I was wondering when you'd be back home and back on line..I hope you had a good voyage..yes, same old dead horse..it's now a concise paragraph of a nag though..hoping you are well..Jae
ReplyDeleteThank you Ceebie..the simplest things can be the biggest mountains..
Jae, I know too well the Porcelain Mambo and the feelings of invisibility and shame after. You have so much nerve (I mean that in a good way) and chutzpah to write this stuff. It's hard to read sometimes, especially when it cuts close to my own bones, but it's always worthwhile. Much love to you, Amy
ReplyDeletehttp://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/07/03/hitch-in-praise-of-alfred-hitchcock/
Thank you Amy..and for continuing to read..it's a grisly solidarity sometimes isn't it..but always glad we have an alternate waiting room in cyberspace..Jae
ReplyDeleteSo emotional and honest, Jaerose. Thank you for sharing! You are definitely seen. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Serena..Jae
ReplyDeleteYou always make me want to reach out to your character and give them a hug and a smile.
ReplyDeleteIt took me three times to get the password right in order to post my previous comment. Am I not smarter than a web-crawler? Arrrgh!
ReplyDelete"I think about belonging. Belonging to a house. A home." Yes, life seems futile and wearisome without somewhere to belong. Very moving--you do know how to draw out the reader's emotions!
ReplyDeleteIn a way it can be a relief...even freeing not to be seen anymore.
ReplyDeleteI've had a few days like that lately...but haven't captured it in quite the same way you are able to do so! Here's my latest: Between the Lines.
ReplyDeleteKeep writing...we will keep reading!! :)
~Paula
"It sinks in ... That nobody sees me any more. And I go on. Without a hitch."
ReplyDeleteI think that the 'without a hitch' line is the saddest line in this piece. The narrator has become so used to being invisible that she accepts it. Sometimes our hope can be lost in the way that other perceive us- or seem to perceive us.
Jae, just read your comment back to me, and yes, it's true. There is a kinship among the chipped china people. Ironically, we often serve as one another's glue!
ReplyDeleteThank you Lilibeth - I had Google issues for week - updated to Chrome..that seemed to help..always good to hear from you..
ReplyDeleteThank you Nico - and especially for paying a visit on a Sunday..
Sometimes Amanda..as long as you can still be seen when you need to be seen..
Thank you Paula..no plans to stop as yet..
Yes, Abigail, perceptive as ever..
;) Amy
Thanks all
Jae
lovely write.
ReplyDeleteHello: Happy Weekend!
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You have such a distinctive style of understatement, casual observation and pointed irony! Rarely have I come across a blog with so many so consistently varied prose-poems.I saw that u did experiment with a few other forms in the past.liked them too.especially, MANIFESTO.kudos and keep intriguing!
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