Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Scratch Card

The man scratches the card outside the bus station. Anchor. Bell. Cherry. I am back inside. So seemless. How it started in the bathroom. Sat on the side. Measuring up. Slipped into watching you leave. 6am. Not quite sure if it was real. If I was real again. This could always be. You know. I know. We never say. I am holding everyone up. The fumble of company drains from me. It is so clear. Back inside. Locked in curtains. Wrapped in doors. Don’t lift your eyes. Don’t glance. You know better. Armed with a hundred questions. Fighting off an answer. My hand leaves the foil on the side. I touch the empty creases in the morning. My little banter. My game. Anchor. Bell. Cherry. How fucking clever. I am so good at losing I look like I want to win. Inside I strike a row of three. Little pieces of black scratchings fall to the ground. Gather around me. Comfortable as nothing. All that I need.
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28 comments:

  1. Shauna27 July 2011 at 05:58

    great energy, the short sentences add an
    air of urgency.

    bell, anchor, cherry should be the next
    three word wednesday.

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  2. Linda jacobs27 July 2011 at 06:19

    I like how you come back to the scratch card at the end. I can see those little black shavings falling to the floor like the disappointments of her life.

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  3. Gemma Mira Wiseman aka Pamela Adams27 July 2011 at 06:32

    Love how the personas slip from the man to you to the speaker's own intimate issues! A crisp psycho drama!

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  4. Jae Rose27 July 2011 at 07:03

    Thank you very much Shauna - bingo TWW - that would be good - Thanks also for following..

    Dust and more dust..thank you Linda..

    Thank you Gemma ;)

    Jae

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  5. annell427 July 2011 at 07:42

    Saying "good bye" is never easy. Have you noticed how loud the door sounds when it closes for the "last time?" Just after you have said good bye? But of course it will not be the "last time," and I know that feeling or question, not knowing if it was "real." Anchor, bell and cherry, three words I love. May I look at those words, too? I would like to use them as prompts.

    When you say "comfortable as nothing. All that I need," does that mean you need nothing? Or you have been given all?

    Wonderful write as always.

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  6. Unknown27 July 2011 at 08:30

    You are so clever, Jae.This one tells it all. I felt a chill; my breath caught in my chest... the foil, black scratches falling. I know too much. I know too little.

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  7. Jae Rose27 July 2011 at 08:33

    Yes, it echoes in an empty room..an empty space where someone once was..of course try your hand at the one armed bandit of words...as to your last question, I shall have to think. Thank you as ever Annell..Jae

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  8. Jae Rose27 July 2011 at 08:34

    Stupidly clever (think I've used that one before)..sometimes it gets me into places even I no longer know or understand..thank you Kim..

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  9. Nanka27 July 2011 at 08:50

    Gripping and firmly holds the attention to the very end!!

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  10. Ramesh Sood27 July 2011 at 09:09

    You know Jae.. I wait for 3WW to post of course and read you first.. always ..without fail.. you leave me thinking and wondering.. very unique..and as Nanka said.. gripping..

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  11. Sheilagh Lee27 July 2011 at 10:21

    Clever Jae how the shavings drift down,I love your imagery.

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  12. Lilibeth27 July 2011 at 10:52

    You paint such vivid scenes and feelings.

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  13. laurie kolp27 July 2011 at 11:51

    Another intriguing piece, Jaerose... lovely images.

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  14. Old Egg27 July 2011 at 16:07

    I don't think you need three cherries that really would be the end! In that case winning is losing. Perhaps losing the past is winning? Yet even I, as I look in the mirror yearn for it. You say so much in your writing but leave so many holes that we too fall into them and struggle to get out. This piece is first class; it says so much...obtusely.

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  15. Alice Audrey27 July 2011 at 16:08

    This reminds me of poetry from the 60's and 70's. Short. Clipped. Deep. A slice of life cutting to the heart of nothingness.

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  16. LeiffyV27 July 2011 at 21:45

    No, no... This is Bluefeather calling out to you (though I don't know what the cherry is, I'll have to ask him), I wouldn't worry about you "losing". It means you might have to wake up with a blue parrot twixt your bosom.

    Great piece, the thinly veiled line between stability and the swirling abyss is a scratcher away. I think I know a few people like that in my life. Thanks for sharing Jae!

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  17. Jae Rose28 July 2011 at 04:17

    Thank you Nanka..

    Thank you Ramesh..I am always glad you check in each week..I missed you and TWW last week..

    Thank you very much Sheilagh..

    Thanks Lilibeth..

    Happy to intrigue..thanks Laurie..

    Obtuse thanks to you OldEgg..three cherries is far too much luck to contemplate..

    Thanks Alice..written in a big house in San Francisco in the 60's..now that would be good..

    Is it Bluefeather..I hope so Leiffy..he travels oceans..keeping us scratch card losers safe..I guess there's room for him perched upon my rack.. always a pleasure..

    Jae

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  18. Daydreamertoo28 July 2011 at 05:49

    This left me with a heavy ....sigh.
    You writing always makes me think!
    It's incredibly image filled and full of a mix of stark, real, raw emotions.
    A great write and a great read, thank you.

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  19. Jae Rose28 July 2011 at 06:55

    Thank you very much daydreamer..jae

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  20. Ann (bunnygirl)28 July 2011 at 09:12

    Locked in curtains. Wrapped in doors.

    I love that. You turn language around in such clever ways.

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  21. VL Sheridan28 July 2011 at 11:13

    I read this piece three times, Jae, and what strikes me the most about it is the sassy voice. I always feel as if your characters are longing for a connection while fearing it at the same time, but this voice has connected with someone, enjoyed themselves, and are now happy to move on! I may be completely off my mark on this, but the voice is this is very happy with themselves.

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  22. Anonymous28 July 2011 at 15:41

    Shauna is right on the "bell, anchor, cherry" being the next 3WW. Interesting, in that two of the three function as both verb and noun, plus endless possibilities.

    Jae, the scratch-offs being an interesting metaphor, it's like you offer us tiny bits of yourself each day. Fortunately, nature regenerates those bits, but still, you give all you have. That is the sign of a true poet. Love, Amy
    The Poets United prompt was Grass. Gee, wonder where I went with it? LOL
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/07/28/grass/

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  23. Jae Rose29 July 2011 at 03:55

    Thank you very much Ann..

    I am glad you found some sassy-ness VL I think you are probably spot on..always interesting to see how people read these lines..thank you..

    Thanks Amy..I am terrible with grammar but scratching my head (not in a scratch card kind of way) and thinking - of course! must be surrendering bits of myself up as much subliminally as literally..thank you as ever

    Jae

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  24. Altonian29 July 2011 at 08:20

    I keep looking for a ray of sunshine, Jae, but all I see are cloudy skies - but you DO describe bad weather very well.

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  25. Jae Rose30 July 2011 at 04:18

    Thanks Altonian..as soon as a ray of sun comes..I will direct it your way..Jae

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  26. Rallentanda31 July 2011 at 02:35

    This poem made me feel a little teary and I didn't even understand it. I do poems by feel:)

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  27. Jae Rose31 July 2011 at 03:31

    Aw..thanks Rallentanda..passing a virtual tissue and a thank you your way..Jae

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  28. Anonymous5 August 2011 at 22:45

    I like how you come back to the scratch card at the end.
    Scratch Card Printing

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