Wednesday, 13 July 2011

Chocolate Milk

I buy single cartons of chocolate milk. They come with a straw. The ladies behind the counter think I’m nice. I give perfect change. Sometimes they help. My indecisive fingers reaching for pennies. Fifty-two pence. Monday. Wednesday. Friday. When I buy three. For the weekend. Half a carton of chocolate milk sits open in the fridge. Awaiting its fate. A sweet conduit for what I need. The straw lasts two days. Maybe three. Depending on the blood. Sometimes I shake at the counter. Like the milk not properly stirred. I think they can see me in the afternoon. When I am not nice. When I lie on the floor and the beige ceiling falls to my toes. A pump of breath. My hypnic jerk. Raises the concrete off me. Like the listening woman 423 days ago whose eyes rolled in her head. Like she was hitting the wall of a Q-wave. Bouncing back. My walls don’t give me the option of bouncing back. A penny rolling round the glass edges of a jar. A folly he said. To try and pull it out. Me. I don’t tell them. Never tell them. About the book. The book that’s so important I can’t begin to read it. If I begin to read I will find the last words. A moth crushed in my fingers. Sprinkled in the milk. Leaves no trace at all.
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23 comments:

  1. Unknown13 July 2011 at 05:07

    'a moth crushed in my fingers' ... What an image! Awesome work as always hun xxx

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  2. Linda Jacobs13 July 2011 at 05:45

    Reading your poetry is like being inside someone's brain and watching the varied thoughts bounce around. I love how you are able to put me right there in the store buying the milk but then ping me deeper into her thoughts and feelings.

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  3. Daydreamertoo13 July 2011 at 06:28

    Wow, your words never cease to amaze me. Stunning imagery.

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  4. glnroz13 July 2011 at 06:32

    Each is completely new,,,

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  5. Jae Rose13 July 2011 at 07:12

    Thank you Ali..they are soft like dusting sugar..

    It is pingy in here Linda - always glad for you to join me..

    Thank you as always daydreamer..

    I hope so Glenn..otherwise that would be stuck as a stuck thing too..

    Jae

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  6. rallentanda13 July 2011 at 08:38

    I like it when you're not nice in the afternoons...also the powdery sprinkled moth image.

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  7. Sheilagh Lee13 July 2011 at 09:02

    reading your stories and poetry is like being in someones mind feeling all they feel and somehow understanding the unconnected thoughts in it almost feeling uncomfortable because it's all so personal.Wonderfully written story.

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  8. Unknown13 July 2011 at 09:27

    Really, Jae, I am compelled to read anything that includes chocolate milk.! :-) This did not disappoint.

    I felt the day grow longer, the mood grow somber, the mornings more coherent than the late afternoons.
    Why is that, I wonder? You conveyed it well.

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  9. VL Sheridan13 July 2011 at 11:01

    "About the book. The book that’s so important I can’t begin to read it. If I begin to read I will find the last words".

    This is so powerful, Jae. And somewhat painful too. Imagining not being able to read for fear of coming to the end. Her end? There's always food for thought with your work Jae. :)

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  10. Laurie Kolp13 July 2011 at 11:12

    I may be on the wrong page, but I feel as if she is diabetic and this is what happens to her when blood sugar is low? And the chocolate milk helps? Whatever the meaning, I really enjoyed it (as always).

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  11. Angel13 July 2011 at 11:39

    Very interesting piece.

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  12. Old Egg13 July 2011 at 18:20

    The detail you include in your short piece is astounding. This J's life is revealed and we watch hopelessly as each part of it is excruciatingly described. The cryptic short sentences are stunning.

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  13. Kwee Cats and Art13 July 2011 at 23:08

    You use fascinating imagery and create a very different read.

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  14. Altonian14 July 2011 at 03:57

    The pictures you form with words, if done with paint, would do justice to Salvador Dali.

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  15. Jae Rose14 July 2011 at 04:47

    Thank you Rallentanda - there are advantages to putting nice on hold..

    Thanks Sheilagh..hopefully the discomfort is fleeting..

    When milk break is over you have many hours to fill..thanks Kim..

    Thank you as ever VL..there's the important conduit..not the milk..

    Hadn't even thought of that Laurie..an inability to process sweetness and light maybe..thank you..

    Thank you Angel..

    Thank you OldEgg..cryptic and short..almost like you can see me!

    Thank you very much Kwee..

    Thank you Altonian..and the (milk) moustache to match! ;)

    Jae

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  16. Ramesh Sood14 July 2011 at 08:59

    Jae how do you do it.. you stir my inner being.. always..so deep...so wonderful..so much pain.. and it just flows...turns into a kind of a soul soothing song..

    And thanks for your kind words on my 300th post..

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  17. laurie kolp14 July 2011 at 13:59

    Your welcome... isn't it amazing how we all interpret things differently?

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  18. Anonymous14 July 2011 at 22:45

    Jae, once again we are invited into the labyrinth. The smidgens of sentences, barely comments, as though she cannot form a complete thought and follow it up with another as cogent as the last. The randomness of this piece is, as with so much of your work, glorious. Do you have a book out? Amy

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  19. Jae Rose15 July 2011 at 04:06

    Thank you Ramesh.. :)

    :) Laurie

    Unfortunately not Amy - I do have a book out of the library though does that count ;)

    Jae

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  20. Anonymous16 July 2011 at 12:03

    enjoy reading all....!

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  21. Jae Rose16 July 2011 at 12:21

    Thank you Sandra - love the new profile pic..Jae

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  22. Ren18 July 2011 at 12:01

    Love it :)

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  23. Jae Rose19 July 2011 at 06:34

    Thank you Ren..Jae :)

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