Saturday, 13 June 2015

Poem













At the eleventh hour we lose mummy
Like daddy
Almost 
But
Not real

Time skips rope on the spot

You can't lose what was never there
Maybe says Alice
But remember how thirsty we got
When the water stopped running
It made us want it even more
I huddle undercover in the sun

Make your can count today

This stuff must be good
I've not seen it before

There's great courage in the air
Rocks and rain
Petrichor
Pleasant
Poem

There’s a reason we remembered that word
What is it Alice
She is gone
Asleep in our secrets
I stroke the sweat from her head 
Think how nice it would be to float
In a bath of cold water

The solvents make this strange city repeat itself 

My thoughts flow through her
A sour storm
Her lips flutter
Trying to catch the last song
Sitting in the air

It waits in a brown bottle 
Drink me drink me

I really should call someone 
Say I'm in trouble
She sings me like cheap gossip

Help me
Help me

Well this is alarming
Dull as razors

Let’s go against cosmic order
And keep chocolate in the bedroom

My little change of tune
We tear off the wrapper
As if the answers are inside

She gets to be more dangerous 
Than an enemy to you

The afternoon encases us
Like bronze statues

Stuck
Stock
Still

Speechless

I wish I had a mother
She screams 
Can in hand
Brain in tangled hair

We come down like a tonne of bricks
Only you could choose a powder 
Which makes your teethe ache and time repeat itself she sighs

I plant my feet
Look in the mirror
Try to find the real story
Written on my skin

It looks like rain 
Rocks and rain
Petrichor
Pleasant
Poem
There's a reason I remembered that word 

At the eleventh hour we lose mummy
Like daddy
Almost
But not real

The solvents make this strange city repeat itself. 

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67 comments:

  1. Sumana Roy13 June 2015 at 06:28

    could feel the suffocation and yearning in trying to find the real story written on the skin .....

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    1. Jae Rose13 June 2015 at 07:06

      Thank you Sumana...hopefully one day it will be told

      Delete
  2. Anonymous13 June 2015 at 10:38

    There is something about this poem, and I can't quite place my finger on it, on the emotion I feel, but I feel something when I read this. A new emotion for me? But it doesn't matter, it made me feel and that's what poetry is supposed to do. Great great write you have a gift.

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  3. Old Egg13 June 2015 at 22:15

    Words do impress. As we write we know their meaning and others reading them will apply them to their own dreams. I've often wondered about Alice's mother but that is digressing. You have a marvelous gift Jae, I love your writing and those tears that appears to "cancel half a line" in your illustration.

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    1. Jae Rose14 June 2015 at 01:57

      Thank you Old Egg - I wonder about Alice's mother too - and thanks for looking at the photo too.. much appreciated as ever..

      Delete
  4. Rosemary Nissen-Wade14 June 2015 at 00:22

    An enthralling poem which held me to every word, every feeling.

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  5. kaykuala14 June 2015 at 01:20

    I plant my feet
    Look in the mirror
    Try to find the real story
    Written on my skin

    One tends to question oneself incessantly to get at the real story. This happens all the time as one would not like to be taken for a ride. Very true! Great lines Jae!

    Hank

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    1. Jae Rose14 June 2015 at 01:58

      Yes truth can become a bit slippery - thank you kindly Hank!

      Delete
  6. totomai14 June 2015 at 02:18

    The repetition of the 1st stanza is very essential to the realization that life could be a fantasy. Numerous questions and scenarios have been constantly playing in our minds as we seek for answers.

    There's a longing and come what may tone all throughout. As I always say, I hope you and Alice are fine always . Have a great week ahead, Jae and Alice too :)

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    1. Jae Rose14 June 2015 at 02:55

      Thank you for your kind comment Totomai...yes life can quickly tumble into fantasy..which is not always the escape it promised to be at first...essentially we need to be back out that rabbit hole to really be alive..thank you...have a good week too..and we will be fine..step by step..

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  7. brudberg14 June 2015 at 04:07

    I love how you pull me into your word with that first and last stanza, like a trip into a fevered dream.. And the.n you always wonder what is real more real, what we see when we shut our eyes or what we we see when lookin at it,

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    1. Jae Rose14 June 2015 at 04:20

      Thank you Bjorn - that's exactly it..what is real and not..we scratch our heads over that one constantly...it's all part of who we are so maybe each is valid but one is healthier..hmm...thank you

      Delete
  8. Grace14 June 2015 at 04:18

    I agree the repetition worked so well ~ I specially like:

    It looks like rain
    Rocks and rain
    Petrichor
    Pleasant
    Poem

    Thanks for the lovely write Jae ~

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  9. Sanaa Rizvi14 June 2015 at 04:28

    My little change of tune
    We tear off the wrapper
    As if the answers are inside

    Sometimes the search and desire for answers become so overwhelming that the person gets swept away.. into the storm of his own emotions.. an incredible piece!

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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    1. Jae Rose14 June 2015 at 04:58

      Yes indeed adrift in the storm..hopefully there's always a way back to shore..thank you kindly Sanaa..

      Delete
    2. Sanaa Rizvi14 June 2015 at 07:15

      You're most welcome Jae :D

      Delete
  10. Dr. Pearl Ketover Prilik (PKP)14 June 2015 at 04:40

    Yes.. the comments preceding this one responded so eloquently - it is difficult to add - a "fevered dream" this surreal world where we tumble with you down a rabbit hole of echoing longing ... Bravo!

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    1. Jae Rose14 June 2015 at 04:58

      Thank you very much Pearl...I hope my comment took on your poem too..it was very strong and inspiring

      Delete
  11. Brother Ollie14 June 2015 at 04:42

    interesting piece - this line really grabbed me: "Time skips rope on the spot" -

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  12. Gillena Cox14 June 2015 at 04:44

    "I plant my feet
    Look in the mirror
    Try to find the real story
    Written on my skin"

    fantasy will always infiltrate; guess its the character of aesthetic, and its process to go with the flow until the banks of reality is sighted

    i'm happy you dropped in at my Sunday Lime this morning

    much love...

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    1. Jae Rose14 June 2015 at 04:59

      We will look for those banks of reality..thank you kindly Gillena

      Delete
  13. Mary14 June 2015 at 05:17

    Yes - definitely one must keep chocolate in the bedroom! It will give 'sweet' dreams. Smiles.

    Ah, the real story --- written on one's skin. The skin always tells the truth!

    Have a good week, Jae.

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    1. Jae Rose14 June 2015 at 05:25

      Thank you Mary - have a good week too :)

      Delete
  14. Susan14 June 2015 at 05:34

    I find the note in the illustration alarming, but then I suppose the narrator is speaking of it, being recalled to it. It's a poem, after all. The repeated loss of Mommy like Daddy truly disturbs me, and:
    "My little change of tune
    We tear off the wrapper
    As if the answers are inside

    She gets to be more dangerous
    Than an enemy to you

    The afternoon encases us
    Like bronze statues

    Stuck
    Stock
    Still

    Speechless"

    So much confusion. Wrapper and skin is the hardest one for me. I love the song captured in the potion. ANd the courage and scent in the air. I feel poems are always distillations, repetitions.

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    1. Jae Rose14 June 2015 at 05:36

      Thank you Susan - for your insights and sticking with us...much appreciated

      Delete
  15. C.C.14 June 2015 at 09:17

    This is stellar: "The afternoon encases us
    Like bronze statues"

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  16. Sherry Blue Sky14 June 2015 at 09:22

    This one goes powerfully to the heart - the longing for the lost mother is palpable. I enlarged the photo so I could read the words........it saddens me how much human pain there is in this world. I am glad there is courage in the air. One needs it, on this journey. Stay strong, my friend. Keep writing your brilliant poems. I see books, (so I can buy them, LOL. I am such a slave-driver.)

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    1. Jae Rose15 June 2015 at 04:57

      Thank you so much Sherry - books would be good...and a large cash sum to have a little break - aah! onwards and onwards xo

      Delete
  17. ZQ14 June 2015 at 09:46

    Wonderful read. Thanks.
    ZQ

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  18. Donna14 June 2015 at 15:24

    My oh my I feel as if we are coming to the climax here as we contemplate the realizations of life....much to ponder in this piece! I enjoyed the voyage!

    Donna@LivingFromHappiness

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    1. Jae Rose15 June 2015 at 04:59

      Thank you Donna - sometimes I'd prefer a less philosophical daily voyage but always a pleasure to have you come along with us..

      Delete
  19. Cressida de Nova14 June 2015 at 17:33

    You cannot lose what was never there. That is true. You cannot miss it either.Sort of a cry for help resounding in the wilderness.What can be more dangerous than an enemy I wonder?

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    1. Jae Rose15 June 2015 at 05:01

      Good point thank you Cressida... i believe the young people call them frenemy's! But since I'm not young I call her Alice..or if I'm honest j ;)

      Delete
  20. Wendy Bourke14 June 2015 at 18:39

    A cascade of tears: evocative words and images that evoke that lost-and-adift ache and anguish skewed perception that traumatic loss confers. A visceral and haunting piece.

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    1. Jae Rose15 June 2015 at 05:02

      Thank you for your insightful comment Wendy..much appreciated

      Delete
  21. Anonymous14 June 2015 at 19:44

    Time skips rope on the spot...that line defined this wonderful poem for me...

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  22. Torie14 June 2015 at 21:12

    So many wonderful lines in this, Jae Rose!! Your writing is brilliant :) 'You can't lose what was never there'. Sometimes that's a hard realization to accept!

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    1. Jae Rose15 June 2015 at 05:04

      It is but hopefully one that can help 'you' move forward..thanks very much Torie :)

      Delete
  23. kelvin s.m.14 June 2015 at 21:42

    "I plant my feet / Look in the mirror / Try to find the real story / Written on my skin"---Jae, I wish I'd written these lines. It will leave to me all throughout the day. Thanks for the poem!

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    1. Jae Rose15 June 2015 at 05:05

      Thanks also for your lovely comment Kelvin...

      Delete
  24. Anonymous15 June 2015 at 00:57

    Looks like I didn't leave a comment previously--this is lovely writing.

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    1. Jae Rose15 June 2015 at 05:06

      Thank you scibbles (you did...it popped up on a previous post and i found it so thanks!)

      Delete
  25. Jules15 June 2015 at 05:46

    "At the eleventh hour we lose mummy
    Like daddy
    Almost
    But not real

    The solvents make this strange city repeat itself."

    I've live in the city where when it rains you could almost believe the sky scrapers could be melting...

    And loss... well there is just too darn much of that. Dementia in the living is just like a loss of death...almost.

    Thanks for stopping by my piece. I jiggled a few words - all fiction, but one never does know...

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    1. Jae Rose15 June 2015 at 06:14

      Thank you kindly Jules..and fiction and truth can be a jiggly thing!

      Delete
  26. Gen Giggles 15 June 2015 at 05:57

    "Asleep in our secrets" is a great image. I like it.

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  27. Magical Mystical Teacher15 June 2015 at 06:37

    I'm delighted to see you use "petrichor," a word that I learned only within the last year, in your poem.

    Timeless Tales

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    1. Jae Rose15 June 2015 at 06:40

      Thank you Magical...glad to share a word..it always feels nice ;)

      Delete
  28. Vinay Leo R.15 June 2015 at 10:01

    I love the repetitions going on in the poem, Jae.

    Rocks and rain
    Petrichor
    Pleasant
    Poem

    I too liked the petrichor word, and it's almost like the poem has that fragrance!

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  29. humbird15 June 2015 at 11:56

    I love the ability to change the tune we're repeating all the time sometimes unconsciously... good for you to observe it, and dare to change it! Hugs :)x

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  30. Unknown15 June 2015 at 12:36

    Wow wow wow.. the sounds, memories caught like a passing radio station and phrases like "The solvents make this strange city repeat itself. " and "Her lips flutter//
    Trying to catch the last song//Sitting in the air" I may have to bookmark this one :D

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    1. Jae Rose16 June 2015 at 05:54

      Thank you very much Rose - what a wonderful way of putting it 'passing a radio station' (there's a story or two in that!)...thank you - and for the add :)

      Delete
  31. claireylove15 June 2015 at 13:53

    Such careful pacing. Haunting...

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  32. Unknown15 June 2015 at 15:41

    Those damn cans and solvents. I'd like to call the cleaning lady to clear the space and put in their place only natural, organic and healthy options. And I'd have her lay tea and biscuits and draw a warm and caressing bubble bath. That's what I'd like to do.

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    1. Jae Rose16 June 2015 at 05:56

      And you just did..(metaphorically)... thank you - as ever and always Kim

      Delete
  33. Intelliblog23 June 2015 at 07:51

    There is a pain and loss and a feeling of otherworldly reality in this poem. The illustration looks as though it is a note containing the seeds from which the poem grew.

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    1. Jae Rose24 June 2015 at 03:20

      It is exactly that - on all counts - thank you kindly Nicholas

      Delete

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