The streets are empty
Unsure unsteady
On my feet
Head clogged
After rains
Filthy water
Clotted and bubbling over drains
I eat the chocolate
In the corner of the dark room
The smell makes me dribble
The sugar makes me shake
The dark room is
The only place left for me
I am not sure it tastes good
But I need it
Everybody needs it
The rush
The hit
The immaculate fix
Nobody is fat these days
The chocolate gets old
As powder blushes finger skin
The man who fixes feet says it will be ok
For a second I believe
But a second does not fill one whole day
He cannot fill the holes
It scares me walking
In the wet
Dead birds
Half cut snake
The powder clots my breath
I labour to the top
As if from the top I will see
But the top won’t shake off the bodies
They slither and slide on every thought
One thought
Only ever one thought
I do not look up
I do not look into the eyes of that thought
That thought won’t stop
Without stopping me
Whatever that might be
Her little cotton dress
Gets soaked in the rain
It is white
Like a ghost
The rain sticks the cotton to her body
In fire
In fury
Her black underwear matches her black boots
Strong boots
Heavy boots
Boots that will last forever
She leaves her purple cursive script
Crumpled in the grass
Away from the birds and the snakes
I pick up her words
Her hand
It tastes nicer than sugar
Maybe we shall
Maybe we shall.
A stunningly different style of word play for us to savour. What a rhythmic beat it has and so full of vivid descriptions and tantalizing images. What I particularly loved was the positive and hopeful ending.
ReplyDeleteThanks OldEgg..i am glad you seem some difference..and a positive end..maybe there's something in the water..
ReplyDeleteFor a second I believe
ReplyDeleteBut a second does not fill one whole day
You manage to find universal, if terrifying, truths in every piece you write.
That's what we should all be doing, but sometimes I think I'm too scared. Bravo, Jae.
"May be we shall" - a really nice conclusion to a beautiful piece .... loved it :-)
ReplyDeleteLove the hope in the ending phrase and the repetition, 'maybe we shall'.
ReplyDeleteThank you RS - perhaps it is a kind of blind courage..I am a squashed mouse in the universal world..thank you ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Green Speck.. :)
Thank you kindly Roan..a grammatical travesty no doubt but that's what was on the paper..
Craving is indeed a terrible master that is almost impossible to fight.
ReplyDeleteAs others have said, I'm heartened by the hopeful note here, although until we reached the purple cursive, I was thinking this is one of your bleakest poems ever.
ReplyDeleteWe must choose our thoughts carefully because we will become what we think.
I loved the images you create in this piece and wonderful, as each piece is. I think you have given a good discription of life, dead birds, snakes and little girls....your work is always inspirational!
ReplyDeleteYes..it is..thank you Annie..
ReplyDeleteThank you Ann..I am glad it was rescued by the purple cursive too..the rains and steep hills make for bleak words otherwise..thank you..
Thank you Annell..little girls making big mistakes..maybe?
The finiteness of her belief "that everything will be ok" contrasts with the eternal idea of the "strong boots/that will last forever." I liked the image of the ghostlike white dress dripping onto the strong black boots, taking the girl with purple cursive where she needs to go.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has their own version of 'chocolate' perhaps, something they need...even though it may not taste good. I've seen a half cut snake too when I walked with dog. I wonder what ate the other half...and why the second half was rejected. Boots that will last forever; good to have something that will last forever, as few things do. I did find the ending optimistic too, Jae. A thoughtful write once more.
ReplyDeleteI had goosebumps reading this. It had that kind of impact on me...
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Your mind is the mistress of imagery, Jae, everything you write is rich with it!
ReplyDelete"I do not look into the eyes of that thought
That thought won’t stop
Without stopping me"
This gives me pause to ponder... yes, I have had such thoughts.
Thank you Abigail..you have a great breadth of vision and insight..i hope we all get kitted out with a strong pair of boots at some point in our lives..
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary..i am glad you see optimism..maybe it helps to be at a distance in order to pick it out from the grass..the half snakes are awful aren't they..looked like a piece of bicycle tyre..gave me the wiggins..shudder..yes, chocolate can probably be replaced with anything that keeps you coming back..
Thanks very much Gautami...
Thank you Josie..it is perhaps not the most joyful of common ground but i am grateful for your understanding..
Nobody is fat these days?
ReplyDeleteWeight challenged perhaps:)
tsk..Rallentanda..you always make me :) thanks..
ReplyDeleteI've missed you, Jae! And this was a wonderful welcome back for me. Your character glows. She is everything. She is nothing? She is desperate. She is all she needs. You have illuminated not a squashed mouse in the universe, but an experienced soul moving closer to the goal. The goal? Hmm... something else to ponder.
ReplyDeletethank you Kim..good to see you too.. :) i am glad she glowed..perhaps she will light up some kind of goal on this side of the computer screen..pondering on full blast..thank you
ReplyDeleteLots of positive in this poem. Things that could be scary and are, spun with a little hope. The white dress, innocence transparent under the onslaught, but shows her strength underneath. Her backbone. There is hope, she will succeed her goal.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dandelion Girl..yes..a backbone is most important..
ReplyDelete