I am lost in the chemical aisle
I don’t know what to choose
Pick the cheapest the girl says
The one with no shoes
She picks a bottle
Puts it in her plastic bag
It rustles in her hands
I lock the door
At least when it is light outside I can see the locks
one two three four
Dead bolt
I will stay inside
Far away
Thinking of how we ate the milky way
I wish I could love
I wish I was more
The glue on the paper lights up when you peel it in the dark
Like stars
Life peeled away and given all at once
The sadness is a stone in my throat
A constant pressure
I have exhausted every thing
She found it
The powder
In my pockets
The substance which throws my heartbeat
Keeps me in the house
Far from home
Far from her
I am lost in the chemical aisle
I don’t know what to choose
Pick the cheapest the girl says
I take my shoes off
I watch my hand move
Deep into the plastic bag
And I smile
An empty smile.
I loved the repetition in this! You really rocked it.
ReplyDeleteI went the same way with these prompts - addiction is a serious and fatal disease if not treated.....I cannot but feel for this poor addict....
ReplyDeleteVery poignant Jae... you always give something to think about..yet another forceful write...
ReplyDeleteRS:)
Thank you Ben..it's always good to rock something..
ReplyDeleteThank you Joanne..I will enjoy reading your piece in a minute..
Thank you very much Ramesh..
For another fascinating female, check out Francesca.
ReplyDeleteThank you Berowne..I will..
ReplyDeleteNow you're scaring me. It's just for the prompts, right?
ReplyDeleteVery well done and meaningful. The powder, the chemical aisle...it all keeps one locked away and separated from life and from oneself.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, addiction is a symptom that society insists on treating as a disease. Until one is ready to treat the underlying disease, the symptoms will persist, or at least recur with regularity.
I read an interesting article on this topic today: http://www.tricycle.com/interview/just-shut
This is so heartfelt, Jae! I could feel for the addict. The ending is really touching.
ReplyDeleteI always, all ways, enjoy your work. "The one with no shoes" we feel for her.
ReplyDeleteYour pieces are always both touching and emotional. You have a definite voice that rings true in all of your poetry. Nice job with this weeks words.
ReplyDeletewith my mood as of late, there were several lines that just hit a chord. a very intense piece.
ReplyDeleteJae, I just have to say I am very concerned about you. I don't want you to be in the chemical aisle. I am glad you continue to write....but I must express my fear because I care.
ReplyDeleteGut-level emotion here. A talented write--nicely done!
ReplyDeleteAs in Pandora's box there is always one thing left when all else has failed and that is hope. Grim determination is better than an empty smile. Every reader will interpret this poem of despair in their own way. Yesterday is gone but there is always tomorrow...because hope is there.
ReplyDeleteaha .. an addictive song this was :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm ok Alice..prompting away..thank you..
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Ann..you always seem able to clearly sum up my dilemmas..i will take a look at your article recommendation..thanks..
Thank you very much Vaishali..
Thank you Ellecee..yes, she needs some kind thoughts..
Thanks very much Mary Ann..now how to apply that to the real world ':{
Thank you RMP..hope that mood shifts for you too..
Thank you Mary..i know you care..and understand..i am ok thanks..maybe one foot there and one foot running in the opposite direction..
Thanks Poet Laundry..
Thank you OldEgg..grim determination is certainly the right phrase..thank you for being one of the hope bearers.. :)
Thanks Green Speck..
i read,,i see,, i dont see,,but I do, I think,,,very nicely stated and written...
ReplyDeleteWorth checking. :)
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean Glenn..thank you
ReplyDeleteBless you..thanks Alice..:)
Jae,
ReplyDelete"I have exhausted everything" That line captures every ounce of melancholy I've ever felt--the whole poem is a powerful experience for me. Job well done, as always!
the echo in your prose jaerose, captures this reader' soul.
ReplyDeleteand the poignancy of a lost and
addicted person reaching for some
type of balm is beautiful actually.
you are so brave.
"Lost in the chemical aisle," what a way to put it, Jae, and ironically, I wrote about my pill regimen. This was actually one of your more concisely drawn, accessible poems. I really got the picture but it's hazy... Amy
ReplyDeletehttp://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/08/17/twofer-thursday-dverse-and-3ww/
Thank you very much Nico good to see you..
ReplyDeleteThank you Paige + Shauna..a balm is the perfect word..something soft and soothing..am glad you found some beauty tucked away in there..
Thank you Amy - it's strange that in the darker..lost..moments things become clearer in a way..like you have to make the picture clear because everything inside is a haze..drawing sharp edges in powder..I look forward to reading your post..
Oh Jae! It is hard for me to read your poems, and even harder for me to comment on them. I so want to see some lines of joy and great happiness emerging from your experiences. I shall dance through the trees when that happens - meanwhile, hold fast.
ReplyDeleteI know I've said this before, but it bears saying again: I absolutely love your ability to come full circle in your writing...bringing us back to the same phrasing from the beginning. To me, it brings a fuller sense of knowing the speaker, even after a few short lines, because of coming back to the familiarity of those first words. Well done.
ReplyDeleteJae this seemed such a sad piece. It's an awful feeling to feel lost, but perhaps we can find tiny little things that can ground us...the children in Hansel and Grettal, left bread crumbs to help them to find their way "home." The sadness like a stone will probably always be there, but it maybe one of those things that help us to find our way.
ReplyDeleteThank you Altonian..for your best wishes..perhaps there is a toe ready to dance a little...just takes a while to put on the right shoes and find the right dance floor..trees would be good to skip around..
ReplyDeleteThank you Paula..it is good to remember where you started..i am glad it brings some understanding..
Thank you Annell..i can't remember but aren't there direction stones..maybe the weight and burden of the stones reduces once you find an easier way to carry it..
I've read this several times now. I get totally lost in this poem, sitting in the dark room next to her, willing her not to put her hand in the bag. I just wish I could write a comment to match this poem.
ReplyDeleteyou just did..thank you Dandelion Girl..
ReplyDelete