The red lorry comes for our records
The man who drives the lorry
Wears a red shirt
Caution
The words within are red
But not read
I am in the room
I can see through the keyhole
I pretend I am small
Small as Alice
As if I can slip away unnoticed
Like fog
Not really there
Not really touchable
A little flesh touching
The blue chair
I am fog
Mopping up the smell of piss on dirty jeans
Cheap ethanol and apples
Know your powder
Know your doses
It’s rudimentary
I watch them
Struggle to pluck up a little leniency
They are meant to be the same as me but I am very different
I am very different
The paper star is stuck in the gravel
Crushed
Never did shine I imagine
Just a little bit white
Not white enough to be the snow the red apple lorry drives through
It mixes with the wet grass in my shoes
alchemical magical delusional
shut the fuck up
helpless helpful all untrue
If I cried dust for you
Would you believe me too
I sit in the chair
Stack my words like beans
Heavy ones at the bottom
Drivel at the top
Words should be rationed like beans
Shined like apostles
Spent like pennies
I open the door
The red lorry has gone
I have not gone with it
I will never go with it.
Thinking of the last few lines,I have learned one very important thing....and that is: "Never say never!" I have seen 'nevers' turn around a zillion times!
ReplyDeleteWords are indeed precious treasures.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, we are each different. Very different. This is why it's hard to find our path when we insist on being genuine. Those who would guide us make certain assumptions as if we were all the same.
Your path is unique. Whether to go with the red lorry or not is only a matter of what is helpful or not helpful on your journey.
'The paper star stuck in the gravel', I imagine that it did shine. There is no such notion as being brought into existence without the glow. There was still, a little bit of white.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you are protective of your words, in the quiet space that is all we have, acknowledge the heavy ones. The magic will come when you see it as truth.
Thank you Mary..I think in this instance the red lorry was not a good ride to hitch on..there are better lorries..but absolutely..never say never..just not now..
ReplyDeleteThank you Ann..helpful is indeed the word..not right or wrong..thank you for your understanding..
I hope it did too Archna..I am glad you found the star in there..it tires hard..thank you..
or tries hard..although tires hard true also ;)
ReplyDeleteThere is over too much "drivel at the top". But not here, this is so well done :-)
ReplyDeleteOften, I meant often :-)
ReplyDeleteVery graphic. Ethanol and apples, what a combo.lol
ReplyDeleteThe red signals danger, alarm, warning. I'm so glad you didn't take the red lorry and will never take it.
Loved this:
'Words should be rationed like beans
Shined like apostles
Spent like pennies'
Another deep and fabulous read Jae.
Hope you are doing okay there.
I not going in a red lorry either (mine has broken down).I'm going in a SAAB convertible or I'm not going anywhere.I'm also not rationing any of my words. They spill out like a win at a poker machine. I have an excess of them and the minute I get rid of them another lot pile in(like one of those Greek myths or Dukas Sorcerors Apprentice)
ReplyDeleteI don't always understand your poems but they are very inspirational for a mind like mine.
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ReplyDeleteDon't go with the red lorry. Stay here with us.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you'll never go with that red lorry.
ReplyDeleteYou have an uncanny knack of illustrating your hopes and fears with breathtaking imagery. Each reader will take on your thoughts and puzzle over them and often find parallels in their own lives. What I see is that you are an indomitable fighter and woe be to those that oppose you...red lorry or not!
ReplyDeleteSome of these lines are quite good, Jae... alchemical magical delusional... stack my words like beans... shine like apostles... spent like pennies. So many nuances and inferences. So well constructed. And I like those last two lines. A lot.
ReplyDeleteIt's a bit of a stream of consciousness...letting us see/taste/smell/feel the literal world around the speaker through exquisite imagery that lets us see beyond the literal. Wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ellecee :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you Daydreamer..hanging on like a stubborn little penny..
Thank you Rallentanda..all your words are well spent..and SAAB's are the berries..someone important left in a classic red SAAB..there was once a time when people visited j world..but that's another story..
I will..thank you Alice..how else could I visit Suzie..
Thank you Sheilagh..
Thank you OldEgg.. indomitable little fucker perhaps..who always picks the wrong fights..
Thank you Kim..i thought you might like those two lines .. :)
Thank you Paula..
oh yeah that red lorry coming for us all - impossibly red - a warning 'they' can't even help but give- stay yourself, inside yourself - become fog only when
ReplyDeletenecessary.
"Mopping up the smell of piss on dirty jeans
ReplyDeleteCheap ethanol and apples"
This brought up imagery, conjured sounds and filled my nostrils with stench and flavour all at the same time :) Nice!
I love every image you have conjured up here, you are truly a witch and you know magic! I've missed you and I will be back. Work is calling... and I am sitting here still just long enough to eat your words for lunch. Love you muchxoxoxoxoxo
ReplyDeletecherry, berry red, red of life, red of blood, thank you for all the red. I will take it and I will use it.
There was something inherently creepy about that red lorry. Don't think I'd want to see the driver! I also loved the idea of the paper star, ephemeral in the gravel.
ReplyDeleteWise words thank you Paige..maybe we will both be red for many a long year ahead..
ReplyDeleteThank you Annell..for taking time..lest we never forget red wine of course..hugs Jae ;)
Thanks Mojo..from behind at least the driver looked less sinister than the lorry..