The petals were fresh
Seven days ago
Now they are mulch
Their flavours mixed up and separating
As the water hits the soil
And they fall
I am mixed up. And separating.
And my head is falling off
She gently holds it straight as she cuts
And tiny curls fall to the floor
They will be swept up and brushed away
Like tumble weed
In the room they didn’t teach me about the next minute
Or the ones before
And I am falling
I am mixed up and separating
fuckingpatheticfuckingpathetic
The room only taught me to endure each moment
Now the moments are gathering
Both at speed and painfully slow
And I don’t know what to do
I wish I held the petals
When they were fresh
Kept them in a photograph
Caught a little piece of reality that glows
There is just my face now and it is does not glow
there are so many petals to fill and i crave them and i hate them and i wish they were over cut off swept up and brushed away over with done done done
In the room they didn’t teach me about the next minute
Or the ones before
I am falling
Mixed up and separating
As the water hits the floor.
I am not a lover of flowers in the house. I hate the thought of bringing them in to die in front of me while I am bursting with life. Definitely time for Mr Rat or Mr Hamster they will make you laugh rather than the flowers that make you sad. How well you illustrated this piece right down to the spilled water from the vase on the floor. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteThanks Old Egg..the flowers were in the garden of a house I passed..it looked lovely at first..like confetti..
ReplyDeleteI understand about minutes moving at a speed and yet very slow. Happens to me sometimes as well. As for flower petals, I think they illustrate well the temporary nature of anything beautiful. Everything...everyone...eventually fades...and falls.
ReplyDeleteThe rose is so special to our hearts. The opening of the bud seems a long time until the rose is full, yet it falls so soon. Like us when we get older time passes more quickly or so it seems.
ReplyDeleteThere is always some new challenge to face, isn't there? Sometimes it's the most mundane things that trigger the feeling that it's all falling apart.
ReplyDeleteFlowers just keep on coming, though, as do the other good things in life. Each day requires a new leap of faith.
But can re-grow as well perhaps Mary? I hope so..bubbling underneath the soil..quietly reforming..if only for a short while again..thank you..
ReplyDeleteYes tigerbrite..the days are long but the years go in a flash..thank you..
Ain't hat the truth Ann...yes, things feel bad when a dropped fork on the clean kitchen floor is the catalyst for a full blown melt down (silent of course)..but there's always kitchen paper..tahnk you..leaping with you..
Jae
I used to have a teacher that said, "Slow down, to get things done." And maybe that is one of the things we have to do, to get comfortable, set our internal clock to run at the same speed as the external clock. Learn to breath, bless each moment, live in gratitude. Often we are unhappy because things aren't the way we want, and after all who are we to say? I think the Universe provides what we "need." It is up to us to see, what is provided. Love you little one,xoxoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you Annell..in the room..this was called mindfulness..maybe it's only outside the room that you can reclaim your mind though..slow but sure..jae x
ReplyDeleteMindfulness is a challenge, isn't it, Jae? I have to focus and remind myself nearly every day to breathe, pay attention to the moment, slow down, appreciate. These are the basics of this life's lessons. I suppose a big part of that is to embrace and enjoy the transient and changeable... because it all is. Every day, lived well, offers opportunities for growth and change for each of us.
ReplyDeleteWords with strong emotion, reminding me much of funeral flowers, left over, filling the house with too much presence, and then more dying. Good poem!
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed...and when you're in a fight it all kind of head space it doesn't hit the spot..yet at least..maybe with practice..and the right will..thank you Kim..
ReplyDeleteThanks Josie..it was a bit funereal this week wasn't it..thanks for reading..
Jae
a minute
ReplyDeletea moment
minutes
hours
just time
to saturate
yourself in
colour
beauty
music
reading
writing
perfect
solitude
and
half
afternoon
dreams
half afternoon dreams..that sounds good..thank you for my poem Rallentanda.. Jae :)
ReplyDeleteflowers are the in-your-face reminder of the decay and blooming qualities of this life. i also wish the dying petals were fresh, and they are fresh, only elsewhere. flowers are so in the moment it's difficult for me to sometimes stop and be in the moment long enough to appreciate them fully. the water in the last line is a great life symbol.
ReplyDeleteSome blooms are just as eternal as space itself. If they do not fall and separate and decay, nothing else will grow.
ReplyDeleteWhen we leave the water, initially, no one tells us about the next moment, we just learn to grow.
I love your thought of that little piece of reality that glows. I hope you enjoy your new cut. :)
I hadn't thought of that Ed..somewhere another flower is blossoming..what a beautiful thought..thank you..
ReplyDeleteThat's true Archna..no one can indeed tell you how to grow..you have to find the sun for yourself..thank you
Jae..
Sweetest jaeRose, your poem seduce my tears. I wish that your petals would be lovingly gathered and held
ReplyDeletein a favorite worn diary, safe and secure - waiting for you.
And you are right: they never tell you about the next minute or the
minute before - leave us hanging there suspended in varying measures of disbelief and sadness.
Hope in the petal that survives that leaves her imprint and you
will Rose with your poetry.
xo
paige
you know what you need? I have figured it out. You need a husband. They are very handy for melt downs - they give you something to focus on, blame it on, throw forks and flowers at. In the spirit of giving I am offering you mine. He is only slightly scarred and you can feel free to melt down, smack around, whatever you need. I promise he is irritating enough to let you get all of that negative crap out on...
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't like travel so he will arrive sufficiently grouchy so you will not even have to give him a period of adjustment. Jump right in and yell and scream and throw things. That way he will feel right at home...smiles and hugs. You know I am kidding. As they say in the states - you got this. Big heart, big hair. Melt downs come and go just like the seasons. Flowers are pretty but the silly things need care, you have to water, feed, prune and weed. Who needs it?
You are still in the early stages yet of finding 'you' It all takes time and now there is no-one to listen to who governs your minute by minute day, you only have your thoughts, so, maybe the answer is, occupy them with doing, instead of thinking. I'm the same, mind never stops at all.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time Jae, and I agree with Ed, where some flowers die others are being born elsewhere.
Thanks very very Paige..roses back..
ReplyDeleteTsk - thanks Dee - you are absolutely right..I am not sure how your hubby might feel about the deal though! Every moment has it's turn.
Thank you Daydreamer..too much time to think can indeed be like quicksand..at least I have the makings of a shovel..just need to figure out how to use it..
Jae