The girl with the magical thinking tries to call
I think magically enough not to press accept
My hands and eyes trip and skip
I can choose
I can choose
I erased her
But I follow the trail of numbers
Back to a thousand stories
A hundred bruises
A handful of truth
This is the sixth day in the beige place
My body run out
My head races then pause races then pause
Ticking over like a deviant engine
Trying to throw me off course
Away from the sparkles and glows
Into the bag of knots
Except I don’t need knots
Not here
Not home
Every minuscule scratch of powder is accounted for
And studiously forgotten
I have picked the phone up twice
Here
At home
myvoiceoverexcitedoverexplaininghingedonthetrivialbecause
ifyousayanythingrealthe bodymeetsthehead
andwhenthebodymeetstheheaditallturnstodust
No mind
It is better than the quiet voice
The quiet voice that came when there was nothing left to fight
The girl with the magical thinking tries to call
I remember her voice
Loud
Relentless
No gap to pause
It made me tired
And yet I loved it
No room for reply. or thought.
The girl with the magical thinking tries to call
I think magically enough not to press accept
I can choose
I can choose
When to race
When to pause.
sometimes we have to learn to quiet that voice so we can find our true self.
ReplyDeleteWe have to learn when to listen and when not to for sure.
ReplyDeletewow. jae you are really getting good.
ReplyDeleteAbsolute delight..of course we have to make the right choices...we will keep on getting those calls..
ReplyDeleteJust love. That is all. x
ReplyDeletePowerful, Shae... fight off those obsessive thoughts with thoughts of gratitude.
ReplyDeleteOh this is a struggle we all sometimes face. Well done - your verse and the final question - "When to race, When to pause" Yes indeed.
ReplyDeleteThe answer is, stop, think carefully... before acting.
ReplyDeleteYou are listening to your inner voice and that's a good thing.
Keep on keeping on Jae, one day at a time and keep sharing with us, please :)
you write so well. you got my in that hyperventilating place of excitement. it was real.
ReplyDeleteIndeed..thanks Sheilagh..and Angel..
ReplyDeleteThanks Christopher :)
Thank heavens for call screening..thank you Ramesh..
Thank. You. Dandelion Girl. :) .
Trying to give it back..thanks Laurie..(there was a lovely beige kitty this afternoon who let me nuzzle her head..that was sparkly)..
Thanks Ellecee..
I will Daydreamer..no fear on that one..thank you..
Thanks Ed. And inhale!
Jae
I think we all get those unwelcome calls. Fearing them makes them stronger. When we see how ridiculous they are, they become no more able to control us than the telephone salesperson trying to sell us extra life insurance or yet another high-interest credit card.
ReplyDeleteIf you fail to buy, eventually the girl with the magical thinking will be forced to find more honorable work.
Afternoon here, so it must be evening where you are. I hope today was a lovely one!
Today was good thank you Ann..I saw the bunnies in the pet shop and thought about you actually! That lovely white rabbit..how soft and warm and delicate their breath..and I would imagine a rabbit's love is never misplaced..unlike those troublesome calls..thank you..Jae
ReplyDeleteWhat a paradox there is in this post where where your own satisfying beige world is assaulted by the faceless callers whose patter is almost like an affront and is best beaten back rudely but yet is still a reminder that you are free! What little price to pay for snuggling up in your own place and looking out of the window and your world spread out before you to enjoy.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful verse, enjoyed it :)
ReplyDeleteJaerose, this poem is somehow
ReplyDeleteorganically framing all the
parts of me: mind, soul and heart.
You write in whispers i look
forward to reading each We.
Jaerose i think you are the girl
with the magical thinking.
*gives a thumbs up*
ReplyDeletePhew, you left me breathless, I'm coming back for more!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a song of growth and strength. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant, Jae!
ReplyDeleteThis poem shouts from the page, "I am so much better!"
Your confidence and power build day by day in both your writing and your living. If the girl did not call, you would never know how strong you have become. She is a gift and a blessing, if only to prove to you your own value, your own veracity.
Yay for Jae!!!
6th day in the beige place, and yes you can choose. That is one good thing about caller ID...we can choose to talk or not. And you definitely have a right to YOUR choices. Write on.
ReplyDelete'Only the intrusions of the world' as j curtly said to the nurse who used the metal detector for the final time..saying 'you won't have to deal with this intrusion any more'..thanks OldEgg..
ReplyDeleteThank you Short poems..
I think I am too..thanks Paige.. ;)
Thumbs up back..thanks Ben..
Always a pleasure to see you Andy..
Thank you Alice..muchly..
Yay for Kim too! many thanks..
Thank you Mary..right on! :)
Jae
I love this piece! I love that girl with" the magical thinking."
ReplyDeleteThat girl with the magical thinking has been calling me as well...she covers a lot of territory:)
ReplyDeleteJae, whenever I see your name in a Linky, I am drawn here. "The girl with the magical thinking," the run-on phrasing, so distinctly you. And as for choosing, you're right. When to race; when to pause, it is indeed a choice (in my case, when I am on the right meds, that is!). Peace, Amy
ReplyDeletehttp://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/03/08/twofer-3ww-abc-carry-one-tuesday-poems/
Thank you Annell.. charmed :)
ReplyDeleteShe is a pesky one isn't she Rallentanda..thank you..
Absolutely Amy..sleep (or lack of) and meds tend to govern which state I fall into..always a pleasure to see you..
Jae
Your poetry is mesmerizing. Your last post and this one, I reread to let it digest fully. Very powerful.
ReplyDeleteThanks very much Rebecca..Jae
ReplyDeleteI love your work. This piece is good and I'm glad we can coose to answer or pause.
ReplyDeleteThank you Belva..it is good to have a hand in those mug ups..Jae
ReplyDelete