I wipe my dirty fingers on the wall
I can still feel the toilet water in my socks
On the backs of my leg
As safe as safe can be
She puts on gloves
To empty my bag
Like every penny I own will poison her
Make her like me
Or like me
It is good to be back
Legs dappled with water
In the place where people who don’t belong
Belong
Come together like a tribe
Holding fifty pence cups of tea
And papers from last Wednesday -
No need to keep up with the world
When it doesn’t keep up with you
I find
A face with a smile
Drawn by
Joshua Blue
A shopping list
Coriander
Onions (x5)
Ginger
Pannier
Tomatoes
A meal to make
A basket to carry it
A place to go home
My home is in a brown book of words
And a bag of knots
If I worry the ends
Stretch out the letters
Maybe my fingers will become clean
I lick up the brick dust
Smile at her fumbling
Fingers wrapped up
Looking for something which isn’t there
But is
In the words stuck together like filth
Cemented
It is my hands which need gloves
Sweet coriander and ginger spice
A recipe for something new
To wipe away this water
To still this rate of knots.
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19 comments:
There is comfort in surrounding yourself with like-minded people.
This is a wonderful description of a temporary world and its effect on the senses. It was so easy to visualise the cleaner do her job, so poignant to view those reminders of another life and I even saw the yearning to be just another Joe Blow (Joshua Blue) away from that place doing what they did. The heart rending part were the old newspapers that showed the world going on without you. You write with pure emotion Jae.
Pure emotion and vivid imagination I might add :)
"My home is a brown book of words". I like this line! I've been preoccupied caring for my six-year-old granddaughter for the last month so it's nice to catch up with you. Hope this new admission will help you untie those knots!
This is rich piece which moves along at a tremendous pace. Delightful.
I suspect the rate is slowing down, Jae. This piece has turned a little corner.
Yes indeed, thanks Laurie..
Thank you Old Egg.. :)
Thanks very much Ben..vivid is one word for my noodle!
Thank you Linda..I hope you enjoyed the time with your grand-daughter..good to see you again..
Thank you Keith..always on the run..
Thank you Kim..little ones are the best perhaps..
Jae
There is something fresh here? I love your reference to knots... there are so many with so many lovely names. Knots to tie the silver thread that flows between the lines. Very good piece... I like it!
Thank you Annell..maybe I can make a start on those origami knots..wishing you well..Jae
I think you've hit upon my favorite definition for tribe. It is, indeed, "the place where people who don’t belong Belong." For some, this is a local bar where, as the TV show theme song goes, "where everyone always knows your name, and they're always glad you came." I've yet to find that spot. It must be fantastic though.
First off - deepest thanks for visiting me so that I found you. I have read and re-read this piece four times over now - each time drawn more into the two most profound images (for me) the bag of knots and of course the delight in the splatter of toilet water in socks on the backs of legs..all the images vivid and scattered - a world of where "the people who don't belong - belong" perhaps it is my "other hat" or some sense of desperation that is so profound and aching that will not loose the image of institutionalization from my reading. I do not need to "know" your intent - but thought you might find it interesting to know that I found this take - a brilliant description of a schizoid scattered thought process - at a moment of peace wandering through the obviously familiar environs of a world where others seek to the truth that she so acutely sees and feels. Virtual pure conveyed visceral emotion. An excellent piece.
As always, your imagery is clear, powerful, and provocative. I love it.
Is it in this blog world we inhabit Wendy? I hope it is a little bit of home for you too..thank you..
Thank you PKP..you offer more insight than the institution that is drowning me in toilet water..I appreciate your comment very much..
Thanks Alice.. :)
Jae
Wow, Jae - I feel like I just went through an emotional whiplash. This might just be your most powerful poem yet. I am haunted.
Thank you Lightverse..for the encouraging push of my scribbling car..Jae ;)
There is so much here, a sense of your self 'knowing' that this is life as you know it but, it's only life as you know it because it suits you to, for now. Your gift at putting extraordinary sentences to the mundane and dirty of living every day life (for some) is uncanny. There is a way of seeing the world through your eyes that is really sordid, real and raw and yet, it is a world you know and can understand because you've lived and live, its stark reality.
As always, your writing is astonishing in it's talent. You do know (I hope) that 'this' will not always be your world Jae, there are other beautiful worlds awaiting you, too.
fearless jae of the powerful voice
these journeys we make like passengers on a train. they feel so defining confining but
they are just places we visit, inside and out
i think they must be as surreal for those who work there. a different kind of defining.
ecology is the most powerful thing, plants
like your roses, they feel like universal blessings.
Hi there. I've been working out problems on my blog recently. I know that you visited but I was not able to read your comment(sad about that, your thoughts are always appreciated). I think I've fixed things now, though.
I like this other place, there is no need to keep up with a world that doesn't keep up with you. The sweet and new scents feel temporary and hopefully they will grow.
As painful and dirty as one place might be, I think that there is so much strength in cleansing yourself through it. Or in simply holding onto a still moment.
Thank you so DayDreamer and LucyChili..cheers to a better world.. :)
Thanks Archna..hope I can leave a comment this time..
Jae
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