Brain Rot

I dip a toe in the Rabbit Hole

It is at once frightening and familiar

A calculated risk

An old friend or an enemy 

That I can’t decide 

I have come so far

But there are still more steps to take

More sentences in the story

More pages to fill

And covers to bind 

I imagine a beige book

With a red ribbon book mark

Thick blue ink

And rich vellum paper

Doughy like fresh bread

Just like home - my place of being

I do not want my brain to rot

I want to see the clouds passing in the sky

To hear the owl hooting in the trees

Just as I wake up and make tea

I want to walk without shaking

Dream without sweating

Stop waking up in a panic I cannot explain 

Perhaps I was curious

Perhaps I was unwell

Treading over past thoughts and scares

But I know I cannot return to that dark place

I must keep moving forward

Enjoying my small pleasures

See the moon illuminate the sky

Feel the sun warming my bones again

Feed my brain - not destroy it

I will stay on the wise path, of that I am certain

And that thought makes my happy

Happier than the false chills of a brief hallucinatory delight.