The sky is marshmallow grey
Not fresh
Or pink and white
Like the flush of youth
Used
She interjects
That we both know I suppose
We eat jello on the windowsill
Let the ice cream melt in our tummies
A makeshift kind of amusement
Isn’t everything we do makeshift
Imaginary
She gurgles and burps
Look we burnt our fingerprints off
No one will see us come
Or go
She jabs a sticky finger under my nose
I don’t like to say
No one sees us anyway
It all smells funny doesn’t it
Obsessionality festering in a box
Tied up with a bow
Obsessionality depression and social anxiety
She sings happily
It’s a construct
Imagination
Monsters
Fools
Bending rooms
Falling floors
Sugar
Quite why they stitched us up like Tin Man
I will never know
We have a heart after all
In fact we have two
And our stitching is much prettier
She rubs her tummy
Curls up like a kitten
The gases come
A sweet burn
A rhythm
A laboured breath
Is a breath that counts
Delusions can keep a girl alive
That we both know I suppose
I lie on cardboard
Roll on nails
Never comfortable
Never still
Time moved on without me
Like gravity pulling down my socks
I should feel sorry
But I am not.
As a child I too had difficulty with gravity pulling down my socks. I wonder whether as you grow up the socks get the message and fight back to stay up? For all the sadness there is a calm acceptance in this poem, we are what we are and others should accept that too.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Old Egg - for seeing the bright and also being so wise! I think with age you opt for the ankle sock which requires less effort to keep up;)
DeleteThere are some times that I would not mind if time moved on without me! Perhaps that is what the fountain of youth would be like? But I definitely do NOT like it when gravity pulls down my socks. Smiles.
ReplyDeleteEating jellos on the windows sounds good.
Having ice cream melt in the tummy seems even better!
Thank you kindly Mary - I agree with you on all counts xo
DeleteNo shoulds! And no sorries, that's good.
ReplyDeleteThank you Rosemary - i hadn't thought of it that way but maybe it is - thank you
DeleteI love the singing and rhyming--two tools to expose constructs. And pull the socks down. When I was in grade school, two mean boys sat on the bus just where they could pull knee socks down as I (and other girls) passed them. Yikes--it felt worse than gravity, and falling socks always remind me of those creeps and their violation/trespassing/touching. As if time stopped. As if. "Used" Yes. Thanks for this poem and its final couplet.
ReplyDeleteThank you for (really) seeing Susan a it means a lot thank you
DeleteI lie on cardboard Roll on nails Never comfortable Never still.... You do come up with such creative images...
ReplyDeleteThank you very much thotpurge - given the choice we would opt for comfort over creative images!
DeleteTime moved on without me
ReplyDeleteLike gravity pulling down my socks
I thought it was rather brilliant to compare time to gravity in this incredible piece. Time never stops for anyone I guess.. sometimes its a relief. Beautifully penned.
Lots of love,
Sanaa
Thank you very much Sanaa - no it carries on apace - there is probably some maths equation that relates time to gravity and maybe even falling socks but maths was never our strong point ;)
DeleteLike Old Egg, I hear the sadness and an acceptance in this poem, feel "time moved on without me" and am pleased with "I should feel sorry. But I am not." Yes. We are who we are. We choose what feels right to us. I smiled at the marshmallow sky. I knew there was a poem out your window.
ReplyDeleteThank you kindly Sherry - we are who we are - warts and all! Thank you for the start of that window poem ;)
DeleteTime moved on without me
ReplyDeleteLike gravity pulling down my socks
I should feel sorry
But I am not.
Yes, one shouldn't feel sorry. Time is meant to move on so one would have to adjust! That is right Jae!
Hank
Thank you Hank - we are pleased we may have got something right
DeleteJust a very good poem. Thank you for it.
ReplyDeleteThank you too Rob
DeleteI agree. No sorries! Jello by the window, ice cream...even the mutinous socks. There is some sadness here but that last stanza, that statement of bravery..excellent! Hooray! spencer is Kanzensakura
ReplyDeleteThank you for your lovely comment - mutinous socks - what a great turn of phrase!
DeleteWow! I 'felt' such intense sadness with the acceptance? I am not sure if they were as accepting as the words relay?
ReplyDeletePerhaps more resigned than accepting - thank you Roger
DeleteI feel this--the movement between sorrow, and joy and the acceptance as time moves on--love the ending--
ReplyDeleteThank you kindly Audrey
Deletetime moves on and sometimes makes everything better so we embrace time and enjoy our future.
ReplyDeleteThank you once again Sheilagh for your optimism and open heart
DeleteThis reminds me of an oracle card I pulled one night - It said I needed to pull up my socks and get the job done..funny, how that came to mind.
ReplyDeletei think that's exactly how i intended it to be read - many years ago i was told to pull my socks up - i still can't fathom quite what that means! Thank you very much Truedessa
DeleteAll that melting ic cream will make you fat, even if you bothered to pull the socks up. I like them down better anyway.
ReplyDeleteThank you (other) Alice - yes down is better...and we are way past fat! But hopefully we can put on our walking socks again at some point and trim down the edges..
DeleteFrom experience I must say that sooner is better than later. Eventually the ability to trim goes away.
DeleteOf that we know - but deny - of course..thank you (other) Alice
DeleteFor some reason the jello on the windowsill is sitting with me, even after several readings. Love it. Great word play....
ReplyDeleteThank you reading - and more than once Julie - it can be a nice thing to do...
DeleteGravity pulling down my socks, reminds me of grade school and my socks would always be eaten by my shoes or pulled down by gravity, by the time I got home from school.
ReplyDeleteLoved it, each word!
Thank you Annell - I like to think of those socks falling down because you were running around having fun...that's good gravity xo
DeleteThe curling up like a cat for a nap imagery is strong, for me...I'm feeling that way here. Sigh. The list of afflictions or labels...it's amazing how many there're out there and what they mean individually how that varies - how it's dealt with overcome. Thought-provoking poem, Jae.
ReplyDeleteThank you Hannah - I hope the curling is a comfort at least - warm and wrapped up - yes too many labels too readily dished out...no wonder we need to lie down!
DeleteThat last stanza, making it all seem inevitable was very well written.
ReplyDeleteThank you GL - yes, inevitability comes up a lot in our thoughts thank you for recognising it here
DeleteI can't say that I am fond of that flatulent Alice. I think she could be a trouble maker:)
ReplyDeleteBut of course ;) Thank you Rallentanda - i shall try and stay down wind of her every now and again!
DeleteI remember wearing the golfs too in the turn with socks, but loved to roll them down for difference...I like the use of 3ww words here, very fresh....but I know, still the routine....maybe it's a key? to new words to recreate every day!
ReplyDeleteYes difference is good - I used to wear a different colour sneaker on each foot to school - there was no rule in that! Recreating the routine sounds like a good plan..thank you humbird
Deletesocial anxiety, that's what i felt throughout this whole poem of yours Jae. two individuals stuck at home not wanting to go out. and time has moved on without them. very interesting and a bit empowering. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you James
DeleteJae, as always you manage to capture emotions and images that touch a spot in our hearts and spirits. We all have pieces of sadness within us and times when we feel out sociks being pulled down. How can we not resonate with your wtiting. At least I do, always.
ReplyDeleteThank you Myrna - greatly appreciated
DeleteWhen I was younger my sister and I often shared clothing...then I got taller (I was younger), but the clothes didn't change right away. I dislike leotard and other hosiery to this day because I often had to walk with the crotch lower than it was supposed to be.
ReplyDeleteStrange what memories your piece bring to the surface.
Thanks for visiting Brian Strong - I might get back to that series one day.
Thank you too Jules - I can't abide underwear that is binding but then maybe that's just one of the reasons why I am so very old ;)
Delete