We are apple dust and lost time
Floating
In space
Out of space
Running out of rhymes
It is so quiet you could hear a
Butterscotch
Drop
Drop
This is my occupation
It occupies me fully
I think
What do you think Alice
It’s like wearing tin epaulettes
She shouts
Get them off
Get them off
She tears at her shoulders and cries
This is a silly occupation
And you are silly too
I don’t like to see her cry
It’s like watching me
Lay out the grease
Light a match
Stand back
Ignite
Down we go to hell
Except it’s not hell
It is an ordinary kind of day
Fire burning in the wrong direction
She hiccups salty tears
I want to go home
I’m scared
You don’t even try any more
She looks like a dolly sobbing
I can’t watch
Walk away
Snap the sugar lump
All so very pointless
Sweet gas and shining ambivalence
Not everything can be coated in sugar you know
She wipes her face on the edge of her dress
We will never get out if we are rotting inside
I want to smooth her face with a cool cloth
How did you get back Alice
From the other side
I looked ahead
Then saw what I needed to leave behind
It is so quiet you could hear a
Butterscotch
Drop
Drop
Apple dust and lost time.
"I don’t like to see her cry"...neither do we...she needs to get out of the ordinary and sugar coated life and get back rhyme...."We will never get out if we are rotting inside"..this is one pearl of wisdom....
ReplyDeleteThank you kindly Sumana - i think Alice was indeed the voice of reason today
Deletean odd juxtaposition, sweet apple dust and butterscotch and the salty tears and sadness. Fall is my favorite season and yet it is a sad time as well. I hope Alice stocked up on fruit and candy and warm socks for the winter.
ReplyDeleteI suppose we are as odd as our juxtapositions! Thank you kindly Dee - and good to see you..we have plenty of fruit and fluffy socks...it's a start I suppose ;)
DeleteNot everything can be coated in sugar you know
ReplyDeleteShe wipes her face on the edge of her dress
Often when you're out to tell the truth to the other person.. its simply not possible to sugarcoat the details.. as the truth is often quite harsh. Beautifully penned.
Lots of love,
Sanaa
It certainly is - particularly when we have to acknowledge it within ourselves..thank you kindly Sanaa
DeleteModeration. Sugar and salt as well.
ReplyDeleteLife can be a living ...
Yes sometimes we can't get back from where we came.
And other times we have to leave treasures behind.
I am trying to voice the truth to a family member that refuses to admit to a grievous fault. And until they recognize that I am afraid for them - there is no moving forward.
Thank you very much Jules - it is a stalemate position - perhaps truth cannot be shown by another...at certain times we have to protect ourselves and create some distance perhaps...in some ways perhaps this is the best gift to give to the other so they may learn for themselves? and if they don't it's not a question of right wrong..loving or abandoning but just being as we all must do
DeleteDown we go to hell
ReplyDeleteExcept it’s not hell
It is an ordinary kind of day
An ordinary day can be hellish if one gets it on the wrong foot! Very true in many instances, Jae!
Hank
It certainly can - thank you very much Hank
DeleteYou know how people try to give you sweets when you are unhappy like the candy will fix the problem?
ReplyDeleteAlice we need to look at this from a different angle - forget the candy maybe we need a bonfire.
We like your advice...a healthy disposal of all the sugar coated nonsense and lies..safe...controlled...finite...think you kindly Leslie
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ReplyDeleteReally hard when the difference between hell and an ordinary day are imperceptible. I hope there is a way to get out!
Me too thank you Mary - I suppose words are a kind of step ladder
DeleteThe thread of inner struggle ..so tangled ... Your word play is always riveting..
ReplyDeleteThe thread of inner struggle..so tangled. Your wordplay is always riveting.
ReplyDeleteWe are tangled up and riveted in! Two perfect words..thank you kindly thotpurge
Deleteluv the disintegration with which you opened this piece
ReplyDeletehave a nice midweek
much love...
Thank you Gillena - and a good mid week back to you
Delete"I don’t like to see her cry
ReplyDeleteIt’s like watching me'
Ha! Your narrator is on to something, poised as she is with the matches! The stillness--the sense of suspended action--within this poem is so positive it feels like a fulcrum or pivot to a new discovery:
"I looked ahead
Then saw what I needed to leave behind "
(I have stopped thinking of the narrator in your poems as "you"--everything in our poems is probably both us and not us. Perhaps the mood of the poem is most like ourselves--panicking, calm, inquisitive, playful. (In my case the mood seems to be resolute seeking, if that can be called a mood.)
I think that is a perfect mood and thank you for seeing the voice as a whole - rightly wrongly..real or not I guess it comes form the same place ..let's hope it is a positive discovery many thanks Susan
DeleteI looked ahead
ReplyDeleteThen saw what I needed to leave behind
I hope that is to find happiness and a way to leave the bad behind you~ hugs
I suppose it's part of the process if not all - thank you kindly Sheilagh
DeleteThose dratted fires always seem to burn in the wrong direction. Why can't they just cooperate and do what we tell them to do?
ReplyDeleteHoly Fire
I wish I knew magical - will your holy fire show me - I will take a look..maybe a while have to take a detour via the hospital..thank you and let's hope Alice keeps the home fires burning
DeleteAlice is completely dependable (I think), and will definitely keep those home fires burning in your absence. Be well.
DeleteWOW! This is a spectacular write on so many levels. I love the repetition of the "apple dust and lost time". BUT I hear the wisdom, the knowing, the certainty of "I looked ahead then saw what i needed to leave behind." There's your exit ramp, my friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Sherry - now for the courage to use it! One step at a time I suppose xo
DeleteApple dust and lost time
ReplyDeleteThat is just exquisite!
Thank you very much Mama Zen - not sure where that image came from but it seemed pleasant!
Delete"Not everything can be coated in sugar you know
ReplyDeleteShe wipes her face on the edge of her dress"--- True that!! Sometimes things are coated with quinine too!!
"We will never get out if we are rotting inside."....That's the truth. And not everyone understands it !! Wise words, Jae!
Quinine coating - there's a story ;) thank you kindly Panchali
DeleteI totally see Alice trying to get the stuff off her shoulders.
ReplyDeleteThank you (other) Alice...maybe she needs a break at Mrs A's house
DeleteYou are really amazing at putting such magic word pictures in our minds Jae. From "butterscotch drop" to "Hell...is just an ordinary day" then that beautiful moment of realisation at the end. As I say; pure magic.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Old Egg - it's always nicer to be a little more magical than weird (although maybe the two go hand in pocket)
DeleteThese times always feel like an end but then...it changes...many realizations in this and raw emotions. Thank you, for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteThank you also for reading and your insights Hannah
DeleteThe ending is also a beginning, a trite little phrase, but true. Yet we can't help but feel the loss.
ReplyDeleteFar from trite - i think it can be a wise and responsible move forward..thank you very much GL
DeleteI would hate to see Alice cry...crying is expressing sadness...but life isn't always happy...and maybe a little crying will wash the windows of the bus? Afterward we can see better?
ReplyDeleteThank you Annell - I love that image of washing the bus windows - how else can we drive ahead if our windows are dirty...
DeleteYes, our growth depends on looking ahead and knowing what we have to leave behind. But, we often fear it will be like hell, then it's not. Thank you Jae for taking us on this adventure with your inner thoughts.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you too Myrna for sharing the adventure and helping us along it..
DeleteOnce more this read is just phenomenal, Jae Rose. You blow my socks off every time.
ReplyDeleteI have included you in a little blogging game if you want to visit my place and join in? Totally up to you, my dear <3
Thank you very much Claire - I will head over and see what you have in store..many thanks for thinking of me :)
DeleteIt's sad to feel like 'We are apple dust' ...I love the Alice's answer to how to get out: look forward and just leave what not working behind....~ me catching up, sigh ~ Love xo
ReplyDeleteThank you humbird - glad you are catching up...never a rush around here! :)
DeleteI am fascinated by the "apple dust". It's such a mysterious image and I made of it all sorts of things. I somehow saw Alice becoming demented in this one... Always a challenging read, your poems, Jae Rose, but rewarding!
ReplyDeleteYes it kind of fell from the sky - we are still figuring it out! Thank you kindly Nicholas - we are indeed challenging little soldiers (politely put ;)
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