She cups my hands as she gives back the coins
It is just what I need
Her hands
Sweet as apples
I am glad you are here
In the rain
There is no vanilla today
But all my powder is filled
I shake it like icing
Over a cake made of straw
Hard to swallow
I need something more viscous
To help it down
Make it stick
milk and sugar
hot cherry pie
they demolish and dismantle without permission of the white
hand
the door hangs off its hinges
somebody had the energy to run
enough electricity to bolt
they add planks to the gate
gate wedge window door
stuck inside more stuck
I skip over puddles
Trip over stones
The phone is in the box
The phone is disconnected
The phone is not rung and does not ring
Radio silence
I am not five by five
The stain gets bigger
cemented stuck wedged
Lethal as raspberries and pears
It all means nothing really
I feel her there
When I put the coins back
When I remember her touch
When I remember everything I need.
"Just what I need"--not the coins, but the touch. The whole piece is great, as usual, but this first stanza could not be improved by any means. Perfect.
ReplyDelete"they demolish and dismantle without permission of the white hand
ReplyDeletethe door hangs off its hinges
somebody had the energy to run"
I liked all but the above lines stood out for me!
swirl it round and round
Love the lines, nicely done.
ReplyDelete"It all means nothing really" felt like a sweet breeze on the heels of a hot, fast storm. And the bookending, recognizing, what you need effectively ties this piece up like a tidy little packet. Vivid and intense, Jae.
ReplyDeleteWe all need people to reach out to us and touch us.I'm glad you found that.
ReplyDeleteOf all things we crave, one is to be loved, another thought worthy and one more, to be touched gently, lovingly.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a confusion and yet, it isn't, really because it all makes perfect sense to you. I love the image of the door hanging off its hinge and someone adding planks to the gate, it all seems to be to keep people either out, or in.
Great writing Jae :)
Thank you kindly Nico..
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Gautami..
Thank you nicely Chris..
Thank you Kim..if only the string would stay around that little package.. ;)
Thank you Sheilagh..a hand is always helpful..
You see Daydreamer..thank you for that..perhaps confusion becomes the only thing that makes sense..
I can feel room 23 closing in around me with this one.
ReplyDeleteGreat ... superb writing here !!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Alice..astute as ever..
ReplyDeleteThank you Green Speck..
Once again you tease us with words of infinite sadness. Words that tell a story, words that show the hurt and the longing and the loss. I love the way your vocabulary and word association is so vivid. Every paragraph entertains us with your inventiveness but frustrates us too with our impotence.
ReplyDeleteAs always, you leave us wondering and with our minds full of vivid images.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have everything you need.
Well penned
ReplyDeleteJae, I resonate with "Radio Silence." Truly I do. I don't know what it is about your words, but they really seem to touch people! You are a missionary of word.
ReplyDeleteThis one is more peaceful as if the worst of the storm has subsided.Although those little gale force gusts have a habit of appearing out of nowhere knocking one off the life raft.
ReplyDeleteThe touch is what we all need.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully done
Blessings
Phrase follows phrase; image follows image - all of them challenging. I wish I were a mind-reader, I really do.
ReplyDeleteI like the fruit in poem, making me think of sweet natural things in contrast to the concrete and harshness. I love the idea of a grubby Alice in your pocket. She would be grubby after all the rabbit holes she slides down. And she's one of my favourite characters. I often feel like her.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to viscous, hot cherry pie is right up there with the best of them.
ReplyDeleteThank you OldEgg..frustration is the best word to describe it..thank you..
ReplyDeleteOne day maybe Ann..thank you kindly..
Thank you daydreamer..
Thank you Mary..hello across the radio waves..i hope you are having a good day..thanks very much..
Thank you Rallentanda..yes..sometimes you have to super glue yourself to that life raft.. ;)
Thank you very much Bethe..
Thank you Altonian..a good gift..if you can choose whose mind to read that is..some may best be left in the corner..
Thank you Dandelion Girl..i am glad Alice visits you too..she is busy..no wonder she is a little worn..no matter..she is a good friend..thanks..
That it is..thank you J Cosmo..
touch is a powerful entity. very interesting imagery in this piece.
ReplyDeleteThank you RMP ...
ReplyDeleteYou did it this time! Maybe one of your best! In memory of touch!
ReplyDeleteThank you Annell..a good memory x
ReplyDeleteJae: I've read this poem last week and have returned twice unable to formulate a comment that does her justice.
ReplyDeletereading your poem is like pulling the skin off an onion - so many
layers, each translucent and
sweeter satisfying than the previous.
I luv the words against the backdrop of deep angst of white
fugue, yet the narrator so painstakingly aware.
the hands - which i recall each reading returning the coins,
the phone inoperable, everything shut down except the glittering white powder and poor alice all
dirty after her chimney ride down the world.
brava.
Thank you so much Page + Shauna..for taking the time to peel that onion..you put it so beautifully..it helps me too..little Alice waves and smiles..
ReplyDelete