Sunday, 11 September 2011
Calling Time
I will turn off the clocks. Call time on this world. I line up a hundred clear bags. Little bags that will go inside the big blue bag. Particles. Pieces of time here. Trapped. dustpowderwords.you. They lie like a broken jigsaw on the floor. A puzzle. I am not sure what the picture will be when all is done. When all the little bags fit inside the big bag and they. I. Am removed. Recovered. 400 days in this place and I finally make noise. I can only say. I am here. When I know I am going. Moving. A little move. A shift. I gently fight the feet on my head. The static below. With the sound of me. A choking noise of what is left. I do not want to return to this place. I do not want to return. I will pack the ruby slippers. They will take me some place good. When the time is right. When I am right. I try not to feel. I try to measure my movement. Slow down time. Speed it up. Anything just to keep the bags open. Keep my hands filling them. It is strange inside. A sensation that I cannot name. A feeling I vaguely recall from when I was. There are tiny moments. Clicks of the second hand. When I see the nets I have caught myself up in. When I smell them. Tomorrow the thread of nets will pulled from me. Untangled and disposed. I will sit. I will keep my face still. I will apologise. For the smell. For me. Maybe the purple will fade. The red and yellow flow away like water. In a few days days. I will turn off the clocks. They will rest. I will call time on this world.
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18 comments:
I think most of us have broken jigsaws puzzles as lives. Just when things start to fit the picture doesn't look right there are pieces missing, lost. They are there, just keep looking, there is plenty of time. I hate jigsaw puzzles I have given all mine away. I am too busy fitting my brain together, but don't know what it looks like. Yes I do. It looks like your post up there!
I love your style..it seems so random..but reflects so much imagery! It's like this whole cascade of pictures keeps coming when reading through!
My sensation was similar...time defined its shifts.
P.S. - i love jigsaw puzzles
I was trapped in the net of your words. Glad to read that there are the ruby slippers which will lead somewhere good!
Jae how wonderfully you have described what you are feeling, down to the tiny, moments of the second hand on the clock. To know the feelings, to be able to describe them, even if they aren't your favorites. The nets that catch us all, if only it could be so easy to pull them from us, untangle them... throw them away. Perhaps you will laugh, maybe it tickles when the nets come off. That is what I hope for you, and soon you will slip on those ruby slippers and you will be exactly where you want to be. I like the idea that you are calling "time" on the world, you are the referee, there is no game without you. Sometimes we need to get a different perspective, a different way to see things, a different view.
Jigsaw puzzles keep your hands busy so you don't have to deal with the jumble in your head - threw mine out too..and the puzzler's mat..word jigsaws are much more fun..thank you OldEgg
Hi Rida..good to see you..I am glad you like jigsaws..it must be satisfying if you have the measure enough to sit still..the cascading business..never good for maintaining hobbies..thank you..
They always do..thanks Mary..
Absolutely Annell..even the smallest shift to the left or right must help change how you visualise the world..I hope those red chose get me out of the tornado..albeit a shuffling one from park bench to park bench..thank you
Jae
By chose I mean shoes..although maybe a subliminal error!
The stop and start rhythmn of this pieces gives it a measured, but somehow frenzied, feel... hypnotic. If only we COULD call time...
What an opportunity you have exposed from every angle, Jae. Physical sensations, emotions, time and literal space are all addressed. The character's actual movement and internal shift are clear. The stops and starts are at just the right spots, allowing the reader to feel the intensity of the moment, the scene. You are a good writer. This piece is exciting!
Maybe we can Kate...in our own (good) ways..good to see you..
Thank you Kim..I'm glad it showed something..and a little excitement is a welcome bonus..
Jae
our life isn't random, all the pieces of it that make up who we are, fit together, we just sometimes have to look hard for all the pieces to fit, but eventually they do, terrific write
Sometimes the ruby slippers turn into old corduroy scuffs and don't take us anywhere we want to go, but underneath it all I carry faith that we can remake ourselves as long as we have a tomorrow. Nets can be thrown into seas to catch fish to feed us instead of entangle. We should not have to apologize for what we were - only become who we will be. There will always be puzzles and dust and minutes to count but sometimes it is good to walk away from the table and just rest, find the big picture instead of scrutinizing every tiny piece. :)
I like calling time on this world, stepping into my ruby slippers and clicking out to somewhere else. Dropping in here to read your poetry is like clicking out of my life for a bit.
Thank you Christine..you're right..sometimes we just need to stand back a bit to see it maybe..
Thank you Dee..scuffed shoes can slow you down...maybe we need to polish them..or try a different pair..I'm looking forward to that rest first..
Thank you Nara..always glad to accommodate you in Jae world..
Jae
There was this blonde (or she may have been a brunette) who was overjoyed because she completed a jigsaw puzzle in only eight months - on the box it said: From 3 to 5 years!
It's a suggested age I'm sure..I think she deserves credit for getting it out the box.. ;) good to see you..thanks Altonian..Jae
I'm fascinated by the little bags inside a big blue bag idea. It reminds me a bit of Philip K. Dick. It makes more sense to me that we might be made up this way than on a cellular level. At the very least, it it seems the mind is a collective of little plastic bags.
I'm I real or a replicant.. I think it's true we all carry little bags of collective knowledge inside..great comment..thanks Wendy..Jae
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