Feel the Quality

Feel the quality she said
And I did
Deep inside her
Wiped the water over my head
And the paper
Watched the words wash away
My throat feels burnt
Even though I didn’t do it
Couldn’t do it
fuckingpatheticwelldoneyou
The man was at the train station
I bought a hot chocolate
Smiled
But not really
Left
Changed my mind
Always changing my mind
There is a blister on the roof of my mouth
I worry it
The rough edges of my tongue on the words
that need to come out
I am tidy at watching
Rubbing out the trails from my lips
Colour jostles the white wall
I imagine it as smell
The fragrance of petals
Scouring out my guts
Like bullets
And butterflies
It’s a shame really
How she’s let herself go
The wind chimes
The wet cement
The red ribbon tie
I am good at tidying
Sizing up the fabric
Picking out the remnants.