How Jesus visited us
In the silence of the night
He brought us joys
And nightmares
So much confusion
We thought we would implode
We are safe now
But we have many regrets
Surprised that we sleep like babies
Wrapped up and warm
Alice sniffs, the sky is black
Full of clouds and stars
We remember when the nurse said
‘You have missed the fireworks’
I was waking from a pixilated dream
Something I did over and over
On auto-pilot until I decided to stop
How much memory I have lost
How much co-ordination and skill
Bashed and damaged by chemicals
Whizzing through my blood
It feels strange now, just to have tea and cake
Filtering inside
I never would have admitted before
That life can be better sober
That days could be brighter
And that I could feel without the desire
To render myself unconscious
Alice smiles at me
She has always been there
Just now I see her clearly
My imaginary friend
My own personal Jesus
I wash my face
Really look at what I have done
Rub in the soothing cream
Today I will check the mailbox
See what beckons me from the outside world
Then I will walk
Cast my eyes up to the sky
Watch the parting clouds
And butterscotch sun
Thankful that I have been given another day
Thankful that like Jesus, I will make it count.
For Shay’s Word Garden
Jae, there are SO MANY things I love about this! Instant favorite by you, for me. I have had those "busy" dreams many times, doing some pointless task over and over. I wake up exhausted.
ReplyDeleteAs a recovering person, I could so relate to the section about feeling without wanting to check out, and about the change from chemicals to tea and cake.
I also loved the reference to "Personal Jesus". Have you ever heard Johnny Cash's version? I like it as well as Depeche Mode's.
Such a brave journey you have made and written about here. I especially love "I never would have admitted before that life is better sober." Ha, I posted my poem before I read this and both poems talk about looking at the sky. Cool. On the same wavelength.
ReplyDeleteDifficult to come up with words adequate enough to share how much this poem of yours affected me .. so many reasons, so many times I've "really had to look at what I have done." Brave soul you are, Jae.
ReplyDeleteI love this. It walks me through so many things. It takes courage to look at ourselves with honesty.
ReplyDelete“ I was waking from a pixilated dream
ReplyDeleteSomething I did over and over
On auto-pilot until I decided to stop
How much memory I have lost
How much co-ordination and skill
Bashed and damaged by chemicals
Whizzing through my blood” - just wow.