Saturday, 11 May 2013

Vow


I hold the sun
In my mouth
Like a bomb
Not cherry
Crooked
Broken
Atoms
Unpopular
Rust
Terror
They wait
For me
To
Fall
To hang
From
Silver
To drown
In dust
To cave
In to the
Powder
I will
Of course
But after
After
They believe
I am fixed
Fixed
Fix
Fixer
Time and space
Bent in mirror
World
Not real
But painfully
So
I do not want this
This plan
They plot
Circling around
Me
Like wolves
Blood
Red
Red
Is everywhere
Every
Fucking
Where
But not mine
Mine
Me
My
Red
I vow inside a tiny droning chant
My word fists
Bullets
Ready
To aim
And shoot
No looking back
No remorse
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

My fight is silent
It does not hear
Or see
It is blind to right
Or wrong
It is what it must be
It is what it must be.



i must apologise for not returning comments or reading your posts as i normally do..j is in the midst of being transferred to an even scarier place than room 27..a place where Jae may be offline for some time..as i write i think of all your support and i can't imagine how the world will be without you ..thank you all..and i hope i hope that any time away is temporary and me and Alice come back to blogland with shiny red shoes and big old bouncy hair!



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33 comments:

  1. rallentanda11 May 2013 at 16:16

    I am so sorry to hear this... will miss your big bouncy hair:) All of us will be thinking of you dear girl. Try to stay strong.I know I speak for everyone who comments on your blog weekly. You have good blog friends Jae. We will all be waiting for your return.
    Rall X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose12 May 2013 at 02:19

      Thank you Rallentanda..i shall remember your survival guide.. x

      Delete
  2. George S Batty11 May 2013 at 20:47

    i hope that you do not have to be "off line"..I will miss your poetry

    ReplyDelete
  3. Old Egg12 May 2013 at 05:03

    Don't you dare leave us. Your fight is not silent, your words reverberate in the hills and their colour is the sky and the meaning is clear as it whispers in the wind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose13 May 2013 at 08:57

      I won't OldEgg..not in spirit..you are my friends and family..i don't turn my back on those who wish me well..me and Alice..will be here..always..we just hope we can at least say hello..we will find a way..15 more days left to think how...

      Delete
  4. Unknown12 May 2013 at 05:18

    I will be thinking of you as I know all those who stop by your blog will be! Hope to see you back soon to know you are doing okay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose13 May 2013 at 08:57

      Thank you Robyn..we have a little time left..

      Delete
  5. Nanka12 May 2013 at 07:03

    Hope all is well!! Burdens lighten through prayers and mine are with you!! Sending positivity to the needs of a friend for a successful outcome!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Unknown12 May 2013 at 12:05

    I shall miss you and keep you wrapped warmly, snugly, soothingly. Think of that. Remember that. Feel it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous12 May 2013 at 13:55

    I will look for you. If you must go, I will miss you and think of you often. But please don't stop writing, never stop writing. It doesn't have to be here online, a notebook will do just fine. If you remember that the words are your breath, then just keep inhaling and letting them out. Sending you white light energy,

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2013/05/12/from-mizfits-mouth-to-your-ear/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose13 May 2013 at 09:00

      Thank you Elizabeth..you know you were one of the first blogging friends to keep me going - i have a little card on my desk at home..words of encouragement you wrote..i know them by heart and they will always be with me..x

      Delete
  8. Anonymous12 May 2013 at 13:57

    My last comment disappeared. So I will try this again. I hope you don't have to go, but if you do, know that you will be missed. Sending you white light energy, hoping you never stop exhaling words,

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2013/05/12/from-mizfits-mouth-to-your-ear/

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ann (bunnygirl)12 May 2013 at 20:05

    I will be thinking of you often, Jae, and looking forward to more of your talented words.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose13 May 2013 at 09:02

      Thank you Ann..for giving me a wise white rabbit..with every thoughtful comment left..

      Delete
  10. Anonymous12 May 2013 at 20:07

    I totally dig this. I love narrow poems.

    This part is awesome:

    To cave
    In to the
    Powder
    I will
    Of course
    But after
    After
    They believe
    I am fixed

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous13 May 2013 at 00:24

    I tried leaving a comment a couple of times earlier in the day. They just disappeared. So, I will try again because I deeply want you to know that my thoughts are with you. If you must go, please don't stop writing. Words, as you said, can do many things, even save us at times. Know I'm sending white light energy to your person. I really want you here.

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous13 May 2013 at 01:35

    You are immensely gifted, the depth, volatility, and rawness of your poetry really gets to me. I wish you the best =)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Walt Wojtanik13 May 2013 at 06:34

    That looks like a tall drink of wordle, that does! Just write what and when you can. We'll still keep an eye out for your work. Reply when you can too,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose13 May 2013 at 09:04

      Thank you Walt - i could do with a tall drink of something a little more than words..one reason to get out the nut house asap..

      Delete
  14. flaubert13 May 2013 at 14:05

    Jaerose, this reads wonderfully. I hope you are going to be okay. Thank you for your supportive comments.

    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose14 May 2013 at 10:36

      Thank you Pamela..thank you also for your informed and supportive comments..

      Delete
  15. Anonymous13 May 2013 at 17:18

    Jae, I knew what you were going to comment before the end of your poem. Fixed, Fixer, Fix... You are fine the way you are. I am as pissed as HELL at the National Health and their evaulation of your situation and your INCARCERATION. It's desecration of a lovely human heart. I love you. Keep me in your pocket and tell me secrets, friend. Amy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose14 May 2013 at 10:38

      Thank you Amy...there is always room for you in my pocket..i am fine the way i am..it's true..maybe what i do isn't always fine..i am scared as HELL..you know you know..but we will always be here..connected somehow.. x

      Delete
  16. annell418 May 2013 at 06:11

    That's the ticket, keep your own plan, it will work for you. Weight what the authority offers, take it if it is good. Love you much!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae Rose18 May 2013 at 10:07

      We will try to be the sensible middle part of the scales (there must be a word for that)..thank you Annell.. x

      Delete
  17. Belva Rae Staples18 May 2013 at 17:40

    Jae, please come back to us soon and know that you are in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  18. totomai18 May 2013 at 22:29

    agree. it is what is. take your time out and come back refreshed. all the best and hope everything is still under control and you are still fine :-)

    ReplyDelete

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